Elaina slumped into the chair, her hands trembling uncontrollably.

No, it wasn’t just her hands that were shaking. Her jet-black eyes, which had always sparkled steadily since being with Sinclair, and her shallow breaths were all the same.

… Am I dreaming right now?

For a long time, Elaina couldn’t move at all. She just stared blankly like a frozen person, then gazed at the portrait in front of her.

“……”

Elaina’s small, pale hand, which had been limp like a corpse, swayed and cut through the air.

And then, on the left side of the portrait.

She caressed the face of Ren, whom she knew so well and was so familiar with.

But she could never see him again, and had vowed to forget him, loved him, and resented him.

… The Ren in the portrait looked a little different from what Elaina remembered. It was inevitable.

Because the Ren and Eli of that time were always hurt and covered in wounds. There were even red nail marks left on Ren’s beautiful face.

However, she could be sure.

In this painting.

The one smiling brightly with the middle-aged woman was indeed the Ren she had missed so much.

Despite all that time, she couldn’t forget. Because she remembered.

How Ren smiled. What expression he made when he smiled. Which corner of his eye went up a little more, which corner of his mouth went down a little more……

[So do you resent that person?]

When she talked about Ren.

For some reason, Sinclair’s voice was a little more sunk than usual, asking in a roundabout way.

[You won’t abandon me and leave. You’ll keep all the promises you made to me, right Sinclair? Right?] […Yes.]

And the bitter expression he made while answering…

Why didn’t I recognize it?

Why am I only realizing it now?

Even though he was so close, why?

But it was inevitable. There was too much of a gap between the rogue Sinclair of Edenbell and the shy boy Ren.

Moreover, Ren wanted to leave his family as soon as possible, so it was impossible to think that Sinclair, who was trying to stay in Edenbell and take the throne by any means necessary, was the same person as Ren.

Nevertheless, Elaina cursed herself for belatedly realizing the truth.

[Did someone bully you again? Father? Stepmother?]

He wasn’t just a noble.

He was talking about the emperor and Yuria.

[Never forgive me… I’m sorry, Eli….] [You called me Eli earlier. Answer me.] […You must have misheard me calling your name. Are you sure you heard my voice properly in that chaos? You’re pushing me as if interrogating an injured person over a lowly name.]

That time too, what I guessed was right.

[Female corpse… did you happen to see it…?]

… The empress whose body couldn’t even be found.

He was looking for his mother.

[It’s my mother’s keepsake. I’ll give it to you, Eli.]

From far away, it seemed like Ren’s voice was echoing. Elaina turned her gaze, trembling slightly.

To the empress sitting next to Sinclair, smiling benevolently.

More precisely, to the familiar ring on the empress’s finger.

[Even if we suddenly part ways, if you have this ring… I will be able to recognize you. Then, even if it’s not this valley, I might be able to find you and return to you. I promise. No matter how much you’ve changed. Or wherever you are, it doesn’t matter at all….] [That’s….]

She had already recognized the ring too. That’s why she was surprised. She never thought that she would continue to keep the gift given to her by Ren, who had abandoned her like that and left alone…

[They said the leg can never be healed?] [Crown Princess, may I examine your leg for a moment?] [I personally requested it. To check the current condition.]

It was guilt. He felt uncomfortable seeing the broken leg because of him.

So he hid it.

Thinking that if I found out the whole truth like this, I would feel betrayed and leave him.

That was the reason for the anxiety.

“Ha……”

Through Elaina’s slightly parted lips, a subtle sound escaped, whether it was a sigh, a laugh, or a cry.

… After Ren abandoned me and left.

So even after losing all hope and light, Elaina kept visiting that valley, as Leila had mocked.

And waited endlessly for Ren.

Thought of Ren.

Only thought of Ren.

If we could meet again after waiting and waiting like this.

Maybe Ren would welcome me?

He was just startled at first when I screamed for help and begged him not to abandon me, but maybe he actually feels sorry for me.

So, if he knows I’m alive, he’ll be happy, right?

… If Ren sincerely apologizes to me and says he missed me too, I must accept it.

I have to tell him how lonely and hard it was while waiting for you.

“….”

Transparent tears flowed down Elaina’s pale cheeks. She cried silently like a madwoman and laughed weakly.

“Everything… from the beginning….”

He approached knowing.

Watching over me constantly.

Cowardly.

Ridiculously, the memories of Ren, who tormented me almost every day, began to fade. Precisely from the moment I started living with Sinclair.

At some point, my heart raced like crazy whenever I looked at Sinclair, and sometimes my heart ached as if it was being torn in many directions.

Why is that person struggling so much? Why does that person always look so lonely? Why that person? Why that person…?

So stupidly, blinded by love, I didn’t realize.

The fact that Ren, whom I wanted to forget so much, missed so much, hated and resented so much, was none other than Sinclair.

Very foolishly.

[You know, Ren. I will definitely leave. My mom said that. She said I take after her, and my feet are really fast. So no one will be able to catch up with me.] [Don’t leave me alone…] [When I succeed in escaping the Aswald family like that, I’ll come and get you too. Definitely. You said that too, right? That you want to abandon your family and leave. That it’s too scary, frightening, and hard.] [Help me, Ren!]

My voice, which used to echo brightly in the valley, and the miserable scream alternated in Elaina’s head as if they were taking drugs.

[I love you, Elaina…]

… Sinclair.

From where to where should I believe your words?

No, even if your feelings for me were sincere…

Even if…

“Ugh…”

Elaina bit her soft lips with all her might until they bled, as if a scream would escape at any moment.

But even so, once the tears started, they had no intention of stopping, and her white face was only getting wet with salty tears.

“You….”

I thought you saved me from that quagmire.

Not only from the Aswald family, but also from the memories of Ren that kept making me sad, lonely, and desolate.

… Even though I knew that you had abandoned me so cruelly, I couldn’t let go of my desperate longing for you, so I kept rationalizing you and rationalizing you inside me.

I would have been scared too. I would have been afraid. I would have been terrified.

So, it could have happened.

It’s not your fault.

Even when your back running away from me was vividly revived before my eyes every time I took a limping step, still.

It wasn’t just a matter of a broken trust. The pitiful and stupid Elaina lived her whole life thinking only of Ren, reminiscing, resenting, hating, and longing for him as if it were her job. Because that was all she could do.

The reason Elaina was always in despair was solely due to Ren’s absence. No, maybe it was his very existence.

Like an accident, he appeared before me, and like an accident, he abandoned me and left…

But ridiculously, the one who saved Elaina from despair each time was also Ren.

Because those few days she spent with him were the most precious and happy times for Elaina.

She had endured by repeatedly crying, laughing, and longing for the name Ren like a madwoman.

After hearing Sinclair’s sincerity, my heart became at peace and my long-standing feelings for Ren also faded. I was grateful and thankful.

Because it felt like I could finally breathe. Because it felt like I was finally moving forward, leaving that young Eli behind.

But it was all an illusion.

I was still in that quagmire.

In the deep and dark swamp created by Ren, by Sinclair…

Elaina cried and laughed.

And it was at that very moment.

From far away, the sound of footsteps that couldn’t be more urgent began to be heard.

“How dare that woman set foot in the prince’s palace, Schuler!”

… It was Sinclair.

“I apologize. I tried to drive her out, but Lady Elaina said she wanted to meet, so there was no way to stop her….”

“Where is Elaina, where is she?”

“She’s still in the reception room.”

Thump, thump.

The sound of Sinclair’s footsteps walking towards her was heard. No, Ren’s footsteps were heard.

How should I look at you? With the eyes I looked at Ren? With the eyes I looked at Sinclair?

What should I call you? Ren? Sinclair?

It was the same yet different, and Elaina couldn’t grasp it at all.

But regardless of Elaina’s heart, the door to the reception room opened wide like an unavoidable disaster.

Elaina slowly turned her head…

“…Elaina.”

Without any preparation, she looked at the face of Sinclair, of Ren, who uttered her name.