Every time? Me?

Pondering when I had undressed again, I recalled that painful day.

Even on the day I collapsed without being able to change all my clothes, I was unintentionally unclothed.

“Y-yes. Why does the CEO always see me at such moments, haha.”

It was an awkward laugh.

As it was unexpected, I was flustered, and our gazes met with unbearable heat. It was then that Kang Do Eum slightly averted her eyes.

Tak.

Seo Ji Wan’s large hand grasped Do Eum’s chin.

Gently but firmly, the man held her chin and turned Do Eum’s face back towards him.

“…I won’t do it.”

It was unclear exactly what he wouldn’t do.

“Absolutely, I… won’t do it.”

Not knowing what he wouldn’t do, but sensing he might get angry if she didn’t agree, Do Eum nodded her head.

“Yes, well. Do as you please, don’t do it.”

The man’s incomprehensible words continued.

“I don’t believe it.”

Yes, well, believe that or not then.

Regardless, Do Eum carefully examined Ji Wan’s face.

Whatever he wouldn’t do or wouldn’t believe, right now assessing the man’s condition was the priority.

His eyelids slowly closed and opened repeatedly, then Ji Wan’s face slowly approached her lips.

She thought she might have to receive another apology,

That at this point she might even need to consider compensation for mental distress.

Along with a sudden determination to do well this time.

She didn’t want to just stare blankly with wide eyes, nor to just pucker her lips.

Much less act like a stiff log only fit to be chopped for firewood.

Do Eum tightly closed her eyes and nobly waited for the man’s approaching lips.

*****

Samsung-dong, Bando Construction Review Tower, 17th floor.

Ji Wan’s office.

The facilities team employee working on a ladder and Team Leader Yeon bowed in greeting to Ji Wan and Woo Seok, who had just arrived at work.

They were in the middle of replacing the pin lights on the artwork covering one wall.

“We’ll come back later.”

“No, it’s fine. Please continue.”

Ji Wan, who had strode over to sit at the desk on the platform, began tapping his fingertips on the desk.

Tak, ta-dak, tak.

The rhythmic tapping noise on the mahogany desk continued for a while.

He remembered going out to drink water while half-asleep.

But he had no recollection of why he had woken up on the living room sofa.

He had breakfast with the woman who woke up at the exact time and prepared hangover soup.

Excited about the new semester, Do Eum talked more than usual and said she would be late due to an opening meeting.

He was seen off as usual, and there was nothing strange, but something felt off.

“Director Han, have I ever made a mistake while drunk?”

“In the 8 years I’ve served you, sir, not even once.”

He had never been so drunk he couldn’t handle himself, nor made mistakes, so he shouldn’t have had any blackouts.

But why did he wake up in the living room today…?!

Click.

Click, click.

As Team Leader Yeon pressed the switch to check the replaced lights, a bright yellow light suddenly filled Ji Wan’s vision.

Like a flash, Do Eum’s frightened face appeared before his eyes.

As the water he had desperately sought went down his throat,

What had dimly entered his furrowed vision became increasingly clear.

Water droplets falling along her hair.

The towel wrapped around her body, the white smooth skin above it.

And that woman, Kang Do Eum!

Like disconnected film, fragments of memory cut off at random.

Even amidst the chaos and confusion, only that gaze looking up at him remained vivid, and Ji Wan roughly rubbed his face.

‘With a terrified woman before me, what did I do? …No, surely not again!!’

As if a small hole had been made in an inflated balloon, memories from the night before came pouring out like air escaping rapidly.

A strong gardenia scent emanated from various parts of the woman as he drew near.

He couldn’t tell if the dizziness was from the scent, the intoxication, or the heat from the woman’s fingertips.

‘Did I touch her? Again, without permission?’

Ji Wan irritably loosened the tie knot he had carefully tied.

His throat felt constricted and his chest tight.

This had never happened once in the man’s 34 years of life.

How long had it been since he apologized for his impulsive behavior, and yet again.

‘Haah…’

Ji Wan leaned back deep in his chair and covered his wrinkled forehead with one hand.

*****

On the first day of the new semester,

Do Eum put away the floral dress she had taken out to feel festive and wore jeans with a white t-shirt.

She wasn’t in the mood for it.

Last night the man had approached as if he would do something, making her tense up wanting to do well, but then he just buried his face in her shoulder and fell asleep.

It was impossible to move a man an inch taller than herself to the bedroom, so she had dragged him to lay on the sofa and angrily mopped up the water-soaked floor.

‘Really, why can’t a grown man even drink water properly? He makes the mess but why am I the one cleaning up after him?’

Complaints poured out like resentment.

Embarrassed by her expectant lips that had been waiting so eagerly for something else, Do Eum’s hands pressed down hard as she mopped.

It wasn’t quite “stark naked,” but the man’s mantra-like pledge that he “wouldn’t do anything” to a woman half-undressed was clearly a rejection.

Whether it was a kiss or love or something more, it was certain he meant absolutely not with her.

But why, in that moment, did she want to do well?

Why did she close her eyes first at his approaching hot breath?

And why does this feeling of rejection feel so disappointing?

Her glass-cut foot was frustrating and her unnecessarily steeled heart ridiculous, but the man showed no sign of remembering the night’s events.

Pretending nothing had happened to her pride and walking as if her foot didn’t hurt, but now alone, her injured foot ached.

At the pub where the opening meeting was in full swing.

“Did you hurt your foot?”

Eun Hyeok asked as Do Eum returned from the restroom.

“How badly are you hurt that you can barely walk?”

Eun Hyeok’s eyes lingered for a long time on her awkward, slow gait.

“Knock it off, Choi Eun Hyeok. Someone might think Kang Do Eum is your girl.”

Mixed with a faint laugh, the “girl” sounded like “girlfriend” to Eun Hyeok’s ears, which involuntarily turned red.

Feeling awkward, Eun Hyeok stood up and left the pub.

“Alright, last game. If you get this, no black roses or white knights. Whoever gets picked has to tell the truth or take a shot, no exceptions!”

The spinning bottle stopped in front of Do Eum once again, as if by agreement.

Asked who her first love was, she said her middle school music teacher, and when asked when her first relationship was, she took a shot rather than say “not yet” out of pride.

“Oh right, Kang Do Eum, about that friend you mentioned before. The one who kissed a guy she knew.”

“Ah yes, that log!! So is she dating that guy now?”

Min Seung and Jae Han’s laughter seemed knowing, as if they knew it wasn’t about a friend but her own story.

It seemed her impression that she had deceived them well by pretending it was about a friend was just her own delusion.

“So what happened with those two?”

“What do you mean what happened. He apologized and that was the end of it if there was no word after.”

Suddenly Min Seung burst out.

“What, that bastard even apologized? After kissing her on his own, he backpedals when he changes his mind?”

“It wasn’t quite backpedaling, he just said he was sorry, or rather told me to say he was sorry.”

With everything exposed, Do Eum emptied her glass while changing her words meaninglessly.

The man’s voice saying he wouldn’t do anything echoed in her ear.

It seemed like self-hypnosis not to repeat mistakes like kisses, or a declaration to her not to come closer anymore.

“What’s with that expression, Kang Do Eum. Don’t tell me you had feelings for that guy?”

Jae Han, with his keen eye for relationships, stopped pretending to be fooled and probed Do Eum’s true feelings.

“You did, didn’t you?”

I have feelings.

Before denying it, Do Eum slowly mulled over those words.

Could the reason she felt disappointed by the apology after the kiss and the man’s pledge to do nothing really be because she had feelings for the CEO?

As if struck on the head by something dull, Do Eum’s eyes wavered.

This was going terribly wrong.

The core contract condition of this relationship flashed through her mind.

If she had developed feelings, it was a clear violation of the contract.

“I’m being sincere, it’s not like that. That man is not love. When a man falls in love, he doesn’t test the waters ambiguously.”

Judging by Jae Han’s expression, far from serious, his words about being sincere were probably not a lie.

“Okay, let’s stop talking about this. I’ll keep it in mind.”

Do Eum forced a smile towards Eun Hyeok, who was entering the pub from somewhere.

The pain in her foot that had calmed down soon began throbbing again.

*****

In the car heading to Hwa-an-dong.

With the unread documents spread across his knees, Ji Wan’s mind was in turmoil.

He hadn’t been skeptical about the emotion of ‘love’ from the beginning.

Though he couldn’t be certain if it was love, whenever he thought marriage might be alright, without fail the other party took issue with him being Bando family’s illegitimate child.

Saying dating and marriage were different matters, the other family didn’t hide their greedy intentions in the condition of accepting an illegitimate son-in-law.

A marriage with two families fiercely calculating around him was no different from a negotiation table weighing losses and gains.

He had no tolerance to endure being treated as defective for a feeling that was merely momentary joy or pleasure, so ‘love’ had long since fallen to become a futile act for Ji Wan.

He would not do it,

Absolutely not, such a foolish thing as being swayed by love.

If marriage was necessary to protect what was his, then he would just marry someone he had no intention of sharing his heart with.

That was why he had told the terrified woman he “wouldn’t do anything.”

It wasn’t something to say to Do Eum, who had no intention or slightest sign of loving him.

To be precise, it was hypnosis or a pledge to himself.

He wondered what ridiculous excuse he would have to use to apologize this time – at this rate, he might need to buy a book on “How to Apologize Well.”

“Madam said she would come after the opening meeting ended.”

At Woo Seok’s voice from the front seat, Ji Wan finally opened his eyes and looked down at the documents.

It was past 10 o’clock.

Since they had agreed not to make an issue of her return time recently, Ji Wan just nodded. It was then.

“Oh, isn’t that Madam over there…?”

The sedan climbing the Hwa-an-dong hill slowed down as soon as it confirmed the person, then suddenly changed direction.

“She seems to be with a friend. Shall we go up first?”

Though he had greeted her gladly out of recognition, he had overlooked checking who she was with.

Especially if it was a man.

Woo Seok’s voice, who knew Ji Wan’s trigger points better than anyone, was unusually anxious.

“No.”

Without even the merit of carefully uttering words that wouldn’t work anyway, Ji Wan’s voice was firm.

“Stop the car.”