Thinking back on the past, Su Hee felt like a hole had been punched through her heart.
Barely 8 months had passed.
Perhaps it was natural that she couldn’t escape from Ae Ran’s death.
The image of Ae Ran, who had collapsed with blood on her head, was still clear in her mind.
For a month, she couldn’t sleep with Ae Ran’s bloodstained side coming up in her mind whether her eyes were closed or open.
“Would my mother not have died that day if I had quit acting?”
From that day on, Su Hee had stabbed herself with a knife called guilt.
“After my mother passed away, I hated acting for a while.”
“……”
“If I said I didn’t want to become an actress, my mother would have become a better mother to me.”
She thought several times a day. What if acting had been very small and insignificant to me.
If it was truly her mother’s dream, she would have quit waiting.
“I thought for a moment that I should quit because of the last words my mother left as if it were a will. But I can’t give up.”
If it had been a part of her body, she would have cut it off.
But it was like her existence itself, which could neither be subtracted nor added.
“I loved acting, which had been with me for more than half of my life.”
The thing she loved the most since she was born, and still loves.
That was acting.
All throughout the long story, Seung Jo kept looking at Su Hee.
Su Hee, who had been staring at the deep sea, turned her head to Seung Jo.
“Even though my mother ended up like that because of me.”
A lonely smile lingered like a wave on Su Hee’s lips and then disappeared.
Like the dark, dark sea, Su Hee’s heart had already been burnt black and nothing but ashes remained.
“So I guess I’m being punished. I can’t read the script anymore.”
“……”
“I feel sick just looking at the words written in the script, and my mouth doesn’t open when I try to read the lines. But how can I make a comeback?”
She ended her last words with a firm voice as if nothing was wrong.
“That’s why I’m retiring.”
Even after the long story was over, Seung Jo just quietly looked at Su Hee.
It’s not your fault, it must have been hard, it’s unfortunate about your mother.
He thought he would choose the most comforting words among those common words.
Su Hee, who took her gaze off Seung Jo first, bowed her head towards the sandy beach.
“Was it too dark a story? I feel like I’ve made the representative gloomy for no reason.”
Seung Jo, who had been looking at Su Hee all the time, slowly opened his lips.
“Have you ever told this story to anyone else?”
“It was at the hospital. When I went for counselling.”
“Other than that, have you ever said it to anyone around you?”
These were words she could not even say to her younger brother, Ju Hyung. Let alone Chul Yong, who was like her own elder brother.
Another question was added to Su Hee, who was shaking her head.
“Then, have you ever really cried?”
This time, too, the answer was no.
“Have you ever comfortably allowed yourself to feel pain?”
Feeling nostalgic and sad seemed like a luxury.
She had made it that way, so she just silently accepted it.
“Do I even deserve to feel pain?”
“Miss Oh Su Hee.”
Seung Jo, who was sitting on the bonnet, got up and turned towards Su Hee.
“There’s no need for you to feel pain and sadness while judging your own feelings.”
“……”
“No one would want that.”
She didn’t want to do that.
It’s only natural for people to feel pain and sadness, but it seems you can’t do that.
That’s why her heart was so suffocating.
“You don’t know, sir. How big that event was for me, that I can’t dare to do so.”
“That’s why I’m saying it.”
Su Hee, who had been ignoring Seung Jo, turned her eyes towards him.
“Just like Miss Oh Su Hee said, I’m just speaking based on the fragmented stories I heard.”
“……”
“So it might sound arrogant and presumptuous.”
A sea breeze blew from afar, enveloping the two.
“To my eyes, it seems like Miss Oh Su Hee is struggling to death.”
The wrinkles between Seung Jo’s brows, which had been furrowed, loosened in an instant.
“Rather than mourning for Miss Oh Su Hee’s mother, I feel pity for Miss Oh Su Hee first.”
“……”
“Because the one in front of me is Miss Oh Su Hee, you.”
Why does her chest hurt so badly?
Why does each and every word of this man make her eyes sting?
Why does the word of this man, who knows nothing about her, feel like a sincere comfort?
“……Ah.”
Su Hee, who let out a breath like a groan, reached out and stroked her cheek.
What was smeared on her palm was a transparent moisture.
There was no way it could suddenly rain from the clear sky.
What was flowing down in drops was the tears pouring from her own eyes.
“Ha.”
Even though she laughed in disbelief, her tears did not stop.
Apart from when she was acting, this was the first time she had cried in front of someone.
When she was young, she grew up being scolded whenever she showed tears in front of A Ran.
After that, showing tears became something absolutely forbidden, almost a taboo act.
That’s why even after A Ran left the world, she never cried.
“I’m sorry.”
Male lead is a clingy little husband
One-line summary: The male lead is initially an arrogant, noble, love-deprived brat, later a cute, clingy, scheming little jealous one.
Introduction:
One day, Lu Yuner’s soul transmigrates into a female-dominant world. She enters the Imperial Academy and takes up the position of a doctoral instructor, teaching classes and grading schoolwork.
One day, she encounters the young prince Su Qingwan secretly skipping class from the male academy.
As a result, Su Qingwan is punished.
From then on, Su Qingwan sees Lu Yuner as a “thorn in his side”.
But before long, this “thorn” becomes the person he cherishes most, and he goes to great lengths to win Lu Yuner’s affection.
Mini scene 1:
One day, the sun is high in the sky but Su Qingwan still hasn’t gotten up for class.
Servant Xiaoyuan: “Young prince, it’s time for class. You’ll be late otherwise.”
Su Qingwan says arrogantly: “I’m not going. I am the esteemed prince, my status is so noble, why should I suffer this hardship? Besides, isn’t learning all this just to please women? Hmph, they’re not worthy!”
Mini scene 2:
After Su Qingwan falls for someone, he completely changes. He no longer skips class and diligently learns how to be a good husband and father. But he discovers that Sister Yuner is always surrounded by admirers.
Drunk and overcome with jealousy one day, he clings to Lu Yuner, crying beautifully like a pear blossom in the rain.
Su Qingwan: “Qingwan likes Sister Yuner.”
Lu Yuner: “Young prince, you’re drunk.”
Su Qingwan: “Qingwan isn’t drunk. Qingwan likes Sister Yuner, likes you so much, likes you to bits…” Before he can finish, Lu Yuner’s eyes flash with emotion and she leans in closer.
[Reading Guide]
1. The female lead is gentle, gracious, humble and polite but not weak. The male lead is initially an arrogant, noble, love-deprived brat, later a cute, clingy, scheming little jealous one.
2. 1v1, a bit torturous in the beginning but definitely sweet later on.
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