“Well, it was when I was younger than now. On the outside, I was trying to comfort the woman, but inside, I was trembling with fear that I might lose my position as a knight because of this. As I was just wasting time like that, my father eventually summoned me and exploded in anger.”

Barbarossa recounted the past with dead eyes.

“He was furious, saying I had ruined the only chance for him to acknowledge me with my own hands. When my father hit me, I just took the beating. At that time, even that meager recognition from that man was important to me.”

Barbarossa emptied his glass completely.

“I was completely broken, but my lover called for me. Ah, I realized this wouldn’t do. If things had just flowed naturally, I would have made excuses, saying I’d give her some money and that it was more important for me to become a knight first. I would have said it’s not that I won’t take responsibility for you, and so on. But my lover beat me to it.”

I knew what was coming next.

“She said that your mother had orchestrated this whole thing, and that the child in her womb wasn’t mine.”

The orange juice I had thrown away earlier pulled at me strongly again.

“Is that when you realized?”

“No, if it had been, I wouldn’t still be such trash. I believed it, you know? Ah, how wonderful. A new excuse to shift all responsibility had appeared.”

Barbarossa laughed uproariously while condemning himself.

“I was so angry that I ran to Lady Maud and told her that even if she pulled such dirty tricks, I would definitely become a knight, so she should watch closely with both eyes.”

Up to that point was what Lady Maud had wanted.

“But as soon as I left the main house, my dear half-brother punched me in the face. He asked how I could say such things so carelessly without knowing the feelings with which my mother had taken all the blame. He takes after our stepmother, though he’s still more emotional and human than her. Anyway, he’s usually not one to get angry, but that was the first time I’d seen him so furious.”

I was surprised too. Lord Donau is a modest person who diligently keeps his place. To think such a person would get into a fist fight with his brother.

“I had no idea what he was talking about, so I punched Donau back just the same, but after getting hit a few times and listening, it all made sense.”

Even the great Barbarossa’s voice trembled at this point.

“My noble birth mother had taken all the blame and settled the matter, insisting on her wickedness to the end. At that moment, my knees suddenly buckled. No, Lady Maud. That woman who always sought justice, surely she wouldn’t have gone that far. But if she really did…”

Barbarossa suddenly, incongruously, made the sign of the cross. Then he smiled with his eyes.

“This isn’t something I should say in front of a noble lady, but will you let it slide just this once?”

“You’ve already shown me everything you’ve got anyway.”

“Damn, this is messed up. What a shitty situation. Now that I look at it, I’m just like my father.”

Barbarossa laughed self-deprecatingly.

“My father, that is, Sir Percival, was a man who spoke with his back. You know, like suddenly picking up his illegitimate child from the gutter, dumping them on his legal wife, and turning his back saying he’d done his duty. Why, they say a man speaks with his back, right?”

Tears were welling up in Barbarossa’s eyes. Oh, even a playboy can cry.

“Thanks to that, I grew up as a bastard. So I swore I would never grow up to be like my father. But when I looked in the mirror, there was a pathetic guy just like Percival. I took contraceptives, it wasn’t that serious a relationship anyway… I was preparing to run away with such excuses, a pathetic bastard.”

A transparent droplet rolled down, wetting his alluring tear mole.

“After facing the father inside me, I couldn’t walk the path of a knight with a clear conscience. Someone like me never had the qualities of a knight to begin with.”

“Your father, who gave birth to someone like you, is highly respected as an exemplary knight, so there’s no reason you couldn’t be a knight.”

“No matter what my story is, in your eyes, I’m still trash, aren’t I?”

“Yes. You’re human garbage and an unfilial son.”

“My list of bad nicknames has grown.”

The drunk Barbarossa staggered and giggled.

“It seems Lord Donau didn’t say anything to Lady Maud.”

“What difference would it make if he did? In the end, this all happened because of my mistake.”

“Just like people raised by Lady Maud, how can you all keep your mouths so tightly shut? Don’t your tongues ever itch?”

I thought of my stepmother. I thought of my annoying step-siblings whom I hated terribly.

Because I am a different person from Barbarossa, if I had a stepmother like Lady Maud, I would never have lived like him.

Nevertheless, there was a bond that touched my heart.

A bond that comes from the pain of being tied as family to people I didn’t choose.

I stroked the head of the man older than me. It was pity.

“It’s been 6 years since you gave up on life and stayed here?”

“Is that a medal? What’s the point of counting?”

“You should count well. If you’re going to live as a kept man who just eats off women, you should know when my birthday is, when our anniversary is, so we can spend some money…”

Barbarossa raised both hands as if disgusted.

“I don’t live by sponging off people to that extent.”

“You can’t become a knight. Not just because of your status, but your conduct is a zero too. So you don’t need to confess to me. Only a knight can hold the hand of a noble lady. It’s beyond your wildest dreams to formally serve me.”

“…To think this woman is the duchess, I wonder what will become of Inkhart’s future.”

“But isn’t 6 years enough punishment for a mistake of your youth?”

Barbarossa’s eyes met mine as he clicked his tongue.

“…How could I, a third party, judge that? Actually, I’m just trying to scout you because I need you. And no one questions the honor and morals of a mercenary.”

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Are you worried about the woman you left like that back then? Then find her and finish what you couldn’t then. Either vent your resentment asking why she suddenly named you as the father and tied down your illegitimate child’s ankles, or more maturely, apologize that you were a coward back then.”

In my view, this guy still thinks he’s a knight.

The knight’s ladies to whom knights dedicate their glory have a duty to guide their knights on the right path.

But Barbarossa is not a knight, and I am not his lady.

My knight is Darius, and I am our lord’s lady.

So I can’t pass judgment of atonement on him, nor do I want to.

“If you’re so ashamed of yourself that you hide in back alleys avoiding the world, then… What changes? If you’ve reflected enough, come out and do some productive work. If you wander around like that, you might meet that woman too, and be able to say what you couldn’t back then. Then, just like the day you realized you were a utterly pathetic piece of trash, some enlightenment that will change your life might come again, don’t you think?”

If it doesn’t come, there’s nothing we can do about it.

They say humans die when they grow up.

Barbarossa stared at me with his mouth agape.

Ah, I’m really making this recruitment difficult.

‘…I’ll make you roll three times for every two times I was going to make you roll.’

But suddenly, Barbarossa started hitting his head with his pot lid-like palms.

“Hey!”

“Damn it, I’m seeing a halo behind you. I need to quit drinking.”

“You don’t need to quit. It’s only natural to feel greatness when you look at me.”

Barbarossa grinned at my words. Is a natural playboy good at smiling too?

“Don’t smile. My husband won’t like it if he sees.”

“I’m used to men’s jealousy, so don’t worry. One or two more won’t make a difference.”

“No, the Inkhart Grand Duke is different from men who control their women in back alleys like this.”

“So, which hand should I use to stamp my thumbprint?”

Barbarossa asked, fiddling with my arm. I swatted his arm away like shooing a fly.

“You don’t need to stamp anything. You’re already mine.”

“I’m already yours? Oh my, what should I do? It’s been a while since I’ve met such an aggressive woman, it’s quite stimulating.”

“Oh yes, I felt quite stimulated too, seeing the mental state of the person I have to hire. I had to think deeply about whether I really should buy this wasteful rogue.”

I waved the bundle of debt documents.

“You’ll work without pay until you pay all this off. Since you’ve been sold, we won’t care about human rights. We’ll talk about additional contract conditions after you’ve paid all this off.”

“Wait, you didn’t buy those debt documents at my full price, did you?”

I bought them for exactly 1/3 of the price.

“Oh? What does the fact that I bought you cheaply, as an untrustworthy bad debt, have to do with the debt you have to repay?”

Barbarossa stupidly retorted.

“Did I just get played?”

You just realized that now?

* * *

After finalizing the slave contract to work Barbarossa without pay, I returned to the castle.

‘I should tell Sylphid not to pull such antics next time.’

It’s bull that it’s natural to feel greatness when looking at me. The halo seen behind me was undoubtedly the doting of Grandfather Spirit King who only loves me at times like this.

Returning to my room, Darius, who had lost the bed conquest battle three times this week alone, was there again today, not giving up.

Suddenly remembering what Barbarossa had said, I chuckled despite myself.

“What’s wrong?”

Because you’re handsome.

Unable to say that out loud, I just shook my head with a smile.

Oh come on. How could anyone get tired of that face?

The features that should have been colder and more stern still had a youthful feel, perhaps because they hadn’t weathered enough storms yet, but his face was so neat and modest that his ascetic impression aroused lustful thoughts.