Even after calling his name first, Aeli’s eyes trembled finely at Lutis, who just stared without any reaction.

If it weren’t for the tears flowing from the eyes of the one who was frozen without even blinking, she would have thought she was seeing things.

-……Lutis?

Aeli called Lutis’s name once again, unsure.

Only then did Lutis, who had stopped breathing for a moment and then took a deep breath, cover his eyes with trembling hands.

As if he was about to step back, Lutis stumbled once, losing his footing, and shook his head as if he couldn’t believe it before opening his mouth.

“Really……”

“……”

“……Is it really you?”

Am I not seeing things because I’ve gone mad? Lutis said.

Aeli had never heard Lutis’s voice break so miserably before, she would swear.

At that voice, as if her skin was tingling, Aeli opened her eyes wide.

‘Can, can you see me? ……No, this is too lame. Then should I just greet formally? Good evening? ……Ah, this also makes me sound like someone who can’t read the mood!’

……What should I say?

Just as she was moving her lips, unsure of what to say in this embarrassing situation.

-You…….

Red, thick drops of blood were falling from one of Lutis’s arms, which was hanging limply instead of covering his eyelids. Confirming this, Aeli exclaimed in shock.

-Are you crazy?! What happened to your hand?!

“……”

-No, it was fine just a moment ago, and in that short time you got hurt……!

Don’t tell me self-harm is really your hobby.

Thinking it strange that she had never raised him that way, Aeli was about to unconsciously approach Lutis.

Thud.

-……?

Just as she stopped about one step away from Lutis, trying to check his wound, Lutis stepped back, avoiding Aeli.

Experiencing this situation for the first time, Aeli reflexively looked up at Lutis.

Feeling her gaze, Lutis opened his mouth while hiding his hand, which was still dripping blood, behind his back.

“That’s not……”

-…….

Lutis couldn’t continue speaking for a while, then slowly removed the hand covering his eyes.

“……I’m sorry. But……”

-…….

“I, I’m still not sure…… Is it really you, Aeli, who has been by the child’s side all this time?”

-……You knew?

Aeli asked in surprise at Lutis’s question. What happened at the lake today was certainly her mistake, but she thought she had hidden it well until now.

Doesn’t Lutis’s words sound like he had noticed from sometime in the past?

At Aeli’s reaction, Lutis bit his lip. A suppressed sound leaked out as if his throat was constricting.

“Why……”

-…….

“Why did you come, here……”

Aeli closed her mouth at Lutis, who asked with veins bulging in his neck, holding back something.

That was a question she couldn’t answer.

It was shocking enough to wake up and find that 4 years had been completely stolen, but to be told she was already dead and a ghost was even more bewildering to her.

However, she couldn’t bring herself to say that in front of Lutis.

Lutis, who asked how long she had been like this and why she stayed in such a state so foolishly, looked as if he was hurt by his own words.

So she just silently looked down at the one who was crumbling.

Aeli crouched down in front of Lutis, who had half-collapsed on the floor by now, and spoke.

-……That’s right.

“……”

-I’m not sure either. Why did I come, I wonder.

“……”

Aeli opened her mouth in a flat tone. It was a calm response, as if she was talking about something ordinary.

Although she was quite shocked by the fact that Lutis could see her, she was able to adapt quickly, perhaps because there was already a precedent with the child.

However, unlike Aeli, Lutis still couldn’t raise his gaze from the floor where it was fixed.

Lutis said, his hands trembling.

“I.”

-…….

“I just feel like I’m going crazy now……”

-…….

“I saw you, heard your voice…… and found comfort in that, but if this is all a dream and an illusion.”

-…….

“How on earth do I put my daily life back together?”

I don’t have the confidence to pretend I’m okay anymore….. Saying that, Lutis curled up his body tightly. Like a child who thinks he can really become smaller by doing so.

Although he was much bigger now compared to then, making it embarrassing to compare, Aeli hesitated, seeing the overlap with the small child who had been wary of her, showing his sharp edges, in the early days of staying at Maison.

When there was no response from Aeli, Lutis trembled his lips as if he had done something terribly wrong.

As if he had something to say but couldn’t think of it well.

Lutis scratched the floor he had been touching for a long time.

When his nails were all scraped off and even his other hand, which had been relatively fine, started to bleed.

Aeli stopped Lutis.

-Lutis.

“……”

-Stop it. Your hands are all ruined.

“……Ah.”

-This will only hurt and make it difficult to live your daily life.

At Aeli’s words, Lutis let out a small sigh, as if he had just realized the state of his hands.

Knowing that with his personality, even if told to get treatment, he would just leave it to heal naturally.

-……Just stay here for a moment.

Aeli stretched her legs and stood up from her crouching position.

She was thinking of either encouraging him to go find someone who was still awake to get treatment, or to find out where the medicine was and treat him directly.

Judging by how the hem of her skirt passed through Lutis’s arm when it lightly brushed against it as she stood up, it seemed she couldn’t touch Lutis.

She wondered if there were specific conditions for being able to see and touch her.

Aeli turned her back to leave the place.

“Don’t……!”

-…….

“Don’t, go……”

If it wasn’t for Lutis holding her back with a desperate voice, she would have done so.

Lutis frowned as he urgently called out to Aeli. Whatever he had heard from her words just now, his hands still couldn’t keep still.

“……I’m sorry.”

Lutis, who suddenly apologized, then spoke as if his blocked words had been unblocked.

It was content close to a confession.

“I…… I, ruined everything. The daily life you had drawn, the love you wanted to give to the child, the material abundance and educational opportunities, everything.”

-…….

“I, tried to save you. But there was absolutely no way……”

-…….

“It was so hard that I couldn’t look at anything else…… You were my life and the meaning of my existence, but after losing that……”

How do I live? Lutis said.

Aeli only then realized her mistake.

No matter how strong an individual is, humans are creatures that can never live alone. So they need to learn how to lean on others and live together.

-…….

She had taken that away from Lutis.

He had lived constantly attached to Aeli since childhood, and even though he couldn’t get interested in anything else, she didn’t think much of it.

Even though he was in a state where he would fall headfirst if his only support disappeared because he was blindly dependent on her alone.

She didn’t know then. Even if she realizes it now, the result is this bad, so she is in no position to claim innocence.

‘……There was the child.’

Even if she wasn’t there, there was another family.

Aeli had no doubt that the child would become Lutis’s new support.

Even if he had become attached to that existence, she hadn’t considered that it would take time to adapt and correct his dependence on just one thing.

……Honestly, she knew but didn’t correct it, thinking he would always be by her side.

There is nothing eternal in this world, but foolishly.

Lutis was now bending his upper body as if he was about to bang his forehead on the floor.

Lutis continued to speak.

“……The child was under assassination threat because of me, but I had to go to war so there was no way.”

-……What?

“I, tried to contact Maison…… but things got complicated and I couldn’t reach them until just before deployment.”

-…….

“I thought I had to protect the child. I couldn’t save you either, so I couldn’t put the child in danger too……”

-…….

“It’s my fault for only looking at what’s right in front of me and not looking behind. I’m really…… really sorry.”

I have no face to show to you or the child.

The man called one of the few dukes in the empire and a superhuman begged like that.

Please don’t go, I did wrong.

“It’s fine even if I’m seeing things because I’ve gone mad. I know how shameless and cowardly this is. But……”

-…….

Lutis abjectly prostrated himself and begged for mercy, not forgiveness.

Aeli sighed at Lutis, who was showing tears with his hand on the hem of her skirt at her feet.

[I’ll…… I’ll listen well. I won’t cut my hair anymore, and I won’t leave any food. I won’t, won’t call you mother anymore……] [……] [Don’t…… don’t leave me alone again……]

“It’s fine even if I collapse like this, just stay by my side.”

-…….

“I need you……”

Ah.

My carelessness has finally broken you.

It was a catastrophe too late to turn back.

How much time has passed since then?

Aeli, who had been frozen in shock, slowly came to her senses.

Rather than self-blame, she wished she could at least resent her who left first. She felt like screaming, but she couldn’t.

Instead, she lowered her body to match Lutis’s gaze.

Aeli opened her mouth.

-First…….

“……”

-Let’s get treatment first.

Then we’ll have the overdue conversation. Aeli spread her hands in front of Lutis’s line of sight, unable to touch him.

Even if it can’t be perfectly reversed, we can patch it up and put the pieces together.

Now was the time to do at least that.

‘I’ve done it once before, so I can do it.’

The hand that had been wrapped with a handkerchief was all red, unable to see its original color, as if the wound kept opening without giving time for the blood to stop.

Aeli was about to open her mouth again, looking at Lutis’s hand like that.

“……Mom?”

The sleeping child raised his body.