The Duke Only Needs My Child - Chapter 69

He ensnared her as if to steal every last breath. Even when Blair, suffocating, tried to push him away, he wouldn’t budge. Instead, he gripped the nape of her neck and persistently clung to her.

It was a kiss driven solely by desire, without consent or consideration.

Blair was only able to breathe again when she was on the verge of losing consciousness from suffocation. It was after Herdin’s lips had moved down to her neck, roughly sucking on it.

Regaining her senses a beat late, Blair squirmed in his embrace, trying to break free, and pleaded:

“First, I want to… wash up before we do this.”

Having been out, and in the forest at that, she felt grimy.

But Herdin ignored her words and pulled down the front of her dress. There was a somewhat chilling glint in his eyes as he looked at her.

“Did you meet with that man?”

A chilling voice flowed from his lips as he approached. His touch as he handled her was unbearably rough.

Blair furrowed her brow and hurriedly grasped his arm.

“Herdin, wait—”

But Herdin, as if determined not to give her a chance to escape, cupped her cheek and met her gaze.

“Answer me. I’m asking you.”

As his gripping fingers tightened, Blair swallowed a groan and opened her mouth.

“…I know what you’re concerned about. But we don’t have any other options right now. I’ll be careful not to worry you—”

Before Blair could finish speaking, Herdin’s hands rummaged through her dress. At this, Blair inhaled sharply and stopped talking.

Herdin searched her for traces of Mikhail. However, the only trace was the faint scent of men’s cologne that had been on her hair moments ago. Even that had faded and was no longer detectable.

He felt relieved for a moment, then immediately self-deprecating. He was appalled and irritated by his own behavior.

But what angered him more was…

The fact that even after confirming this, nothing changed except for a momentary sense of relief.

The fact that this woman was still only thinking of running away from him. Just that her refuge wasn’t that bastard.

That anger was directed entirely at the woman in his arms. At her, who only thought of running away from him.

“Before that, shouldn’t we uncover the truth of the incident first?”

“…”

“Nothing has been resolved on this end, so why are you thinking of running away first?”

“I’m not thinking that. I said I’d keep the contract, I promised you that…”

“…”

“You too… no, you know better. Practicing to overcome the phobia every night.”

Herdin’s gaze sank coldly as he looked at Blair’s eyes, contorted as if about to cry.

Yes, I know.

I know too well.

That all of it is ultimately preparation to leave my side.

I had forgotten that for a moment.

Bewitched by this innocent face.

“Well, who knows. Maybe you’ve become scared now that you’ve realized your mother might have abandoned you, and you want to run away belatedly.”

Both Herdin and Blair herself had implicitly suspected that Katrina might have even used her daughter’s life.

But it was a possibility they had not dared to voice aloud.

The moment that possibility materialized and flowed from his lips, those icy words became a dagger that tore through Blair’s heart.

It was closely linked to the self-loathing that had tormented her for a long time.

Blair’s usually calm eyes began to waver violently.

Seeing this, Herdin twisted his lips. He didn’t stop there.

“You think it’s better not to know than to be abandoned.”

“…”

“That’s what you’re good at, isn’t it?”

I wish that were the truth.

I wish you had been utterly abandoned by that woman, hurt, and lost the will to run away.

“The divorce you so desperately want, I can’t give it to you until that incident is resolved.”

Herdin raised his damp fingers to caress Blair’s cheek.

That blatantly sensual action, precisely because of this moment, instead utterly shattered her.

“So until then, don’t dream foolishly and listen to me.”

Tears welled up in Blair’s eyes as she looked at Herdin, who spoke coldly.

His image overlapped with the past.

In the end, you haven’t changed at all.

And yet, I who have fallen in love with you again despite that.

I felt foolish and miserable seeing myself getting hurt by you again. It felt like the wound I had momentarily forgotten was being torn open again by a sharp thorn.

The tears that had welled up in Blair’s eyes silently spilled over. Herdin felt an incomprehensible pleasure at the sight.

It sounds crazy, but at least in this moment, I feel a strange elation as if I’ve become an incredible existence to you.

Because your tears, your wounds, are entirely mine.

However, at the same time, the vague anxiety he always felt when looking at her engulfed him again.

The anxiety that the woman before him, in his arms, might disappear.

That drove him mad.

Herdin leaned down and kissed her. Blair turned her head to avoid him, but was quickly restrained by his hand holding her face.

Still kissing her, he lifted Blair into his arms and overlapped their bodies.

“Huh…”

Blair didn’t resist, but her freed lips at least avoided him.

Her body, which even now was heating up and desiring him, her heart beating for him, made her unbearably miserable.

Soon, as her body began to shake violently, Blair finally couldn’t endure anymore and embraced him.

Like hugging a pincushion, sharp thorns that couldn’t be pulled out painfully pierced her heart.

* * *

The flickering light of the lighter rested on the wick of the candle. As the candle finally caught fire, the lighter’s flame went out.

Lina exclaimed in admiration as she watched Blair light the candle.

“Oh my! Are you alright, madam?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

Beads of sweat had formed on Blair’s forehead as if she had done intense exercise, her breathing was rougher than usual, and her hands were shaking, but compared to before when she would fall into a panic state at the sight of fire, this was a tremendous improvement.

Lina, who had watched Blair more closely and for a longer time than anyone else, was even more impressed by her.

“Wow, you’re really amazing. I honestly don’t know much about phobias, but this must be incredibly difficult. You might even be able to live alone now.”

Blair winced at Lina’s careless words, despite Lina not knowing about her contract marriage.

Lina quickly extinguished the candle for Blair, who was still unable to take her eyes off the fire, and added:

“Oh, of course, you know I’m just saying that, right? Don’t think about going anywhere without me.”

“Mmm…”

“Well, where would the Duchess go alone anyway?”

Blair responded with a smile instead of an awkward lie to Lina, who seemed even more pleased.

A week ago, after arguing with Herdin, she no longer practiced overcoming her fear of fire with him. Since that day, the practice had been solely Blair’s responsibility.

That’s not to say he didn’t visit her bedroom.

He would seek her out at night, and they would mix bodies as usual, but that was it. There was no conversation between them.

Blair kept her mouth shut because she didn’t want to talk to him, and Herdin acted as if he had no purpose or interest other than her body. Sometimes his behavior seemed so persistent it felt almost bestial.

For several nights, only rough breathing and moans echoed in the room.

Herdin seemed to have given up on Blair, who showed no reaction, and stopped visiting her room.

Recalling their conversation from the day they fought, one might think he would urge her to recover her memories quickly as he wished, but there was no sign of even that.

His behavior and the flow of the situation were terrifyingly similar to her past life.

But if there was one difference, it was that Blair had no intention of repeating the course of doing nothing within that situation as she had in her past life.

‘What Herdin wants is the truth about the Empress’s Palace incident.’

So she intended to give him what he wanted and leave.

It wasn’t so much for his sake as it was because she didn’t want to break her promise to herself not to run away from the truth no matter what.

And it was for Esmeralda’s sake too.

“Madam, Lady Lorelaine has arrived.”

As Blair was lost in thought, meaninglessly opening and closing the lighter’s lid repeatedly, Mellie’s voice was heard along with a knock.

“Tell her to come in.”

As permission was given, Lina left, and Agnes entered the room.

“Welcome, Agnes. It rained heavily last night, I hope the journey wasn’t too difficult?”

“Fortunately, I came only on well-maintained roads, so it was comfortable. Thank you for your concern.”

Agnes greeted Blair with her usual gentle smile. Then, noticing the lighter Blair was holding, her eyes widened.

“Is that a lighter?”

“Yes, it is. I was practicing lighting candles.”

“It seems your practice with His Grace is having an effect. I didn’t expect you to adapt so quickly. After all, a husband is more reliable than others, isn’t he?”

Blair smiled instead of answering Agnes’s words. It was an ambiguous response, but Agnes didn’t seem to notice its meaning.

“By the way, why did you call me to the bedroom instead of the greenhouse today? Are you not feeling well…?”

“No, it’s not that.”

Blair hesitated for a moment before stating her main purpose, as if she had finally made up her mind.

“I want to try hypnosis.”

As expected, Agnes showed a reluctant reaction.

“Has His Grace agreed to this as well?”

“No, but… I feel like we don’t have time to wait anymore.”

“What do you mean we don’t have time?”

“If Mother was really involved in that incident, she won’t just sit by and watch. The incident might be buried forever as it is.”

Blair chose to stimulate Agnes’s loyalty to Delmark itself, while hiding her own purpose and revealing only part of the reason, instead of telling a perfect lie.

Agnes’s loyalty as Herdin’s subordinate, and simultaneously to Delmark itself.