The Duke Only Needs My Child - Chapter 147

When she opened her eyes, Herdin was already gone from the bedroom.

After finishing her bath and returning to the room, Blair took out and put on the commoner’s clothes she used to wear in Nerha. Because she was no longer a duchess.

Blair dismissed the maids who offered to help with her grooming and sat down at the dressing table.

Her hands had become skillful at brushing and grooming her hair alone over the past few months. She would likely become even more adept in the future.

Should she put her hair up or tie it half-up?

She tried various styles, tying it up and letting it down, and by the time she finally made up her mind, an hour had already passed.

The hastily tied half-up hairstyle wasn’t quite to her liking, but there was no time to redo it. She couldn’t keep him waiting any longer, as he had other appointments.

Blair rose from the dressing table, pushing aside her feelings of regret.

Before leaving the room, she took out the envelope from the drawer where she had put the divorce papers yesterday and placed it neatly on the table. And next to it, she placed the ownership papers for the seaside villa she had received from him yesterday.

After taking one last look around, Blair left the room.

Now it was time to say goodbye to him.

* * *

The weather was nice.

It was a typical autumn day with warm sunlight and cool breezes. There was no sign of sudden rain or snow.

Herdin, who had been observing the weather through the window, turned to look at his desk. Even on such a day, there were papers waiting to be processed.

As he was carelessly flipping through documents that he couldn’t focus on reading, Herdin unconsciously took out a cigar from his pocket and put it in his mouth, but then put it back with a sigh.

Just as he was about to toss the documents onto the desk, there was a knock, followed by Blair’s voice.

“Herdin. May I come in for a moment?”

After briefly staring at the closed door, Herdin straightened up from where he had been leaning against the window frame.

When he opened the door to his office, Blair was standing there, wearing the same clothes she had worn when they met again at the festival in Nerha.

As he had felt then, she looked incredibly youthful in the simple dress. Except for her heavily swollen belly.

“…Come in.”

Herdin let Blair into the office and was about to lead her to the sofa, but Blair stood still in place. As if she would leave soon.

As expected, Blair immediately got to the point.

“I’ve left the documents needed for the divorce on the bedroom table. Along with the ownership papers for the villa.”

Herdin frowned slightly at the latter part.

Since she loved the sea, he had thought that if nothing else, she would gladly accept this.

“Why the villa ownership papers?”

“That villa is too much for me. It’s hard to manage, and I already have a house and people.”

“I’ll take care of Ikar’s house. You can keep using the staff. I’ll pay their wages—”

Blair shook her head at his attempt to somehow give her the villa.

“The sea you gave me was beautiful.”

“…”

“I’ll gratefully accept just that.”

Seeing her unwilling to take anything he had given her, Herdin fell silent, unable to insist further.

It was time to let her go.

After gazing at Blair for a moment, Herdin naturally shifted his gaze to her belly. He asked.

“…May I say goodbye to the child?”

At this unexpected request, Blair nodded readily.

“It seems the baby wants to say hello to daddy too.”

Herdin placed his hand on Blair’s belly. The movements were more distinct than the night before. He could even see the slight bumps and shifts on her belly.

Herdin held his breath. It felt real that a child was truly growing inside her.

The thought flashed through his mind that it would have been nice to experience this with her in his past life, but that was a futile thought now.

He gently caressed her belly and whispered.

“Don’t give your mother a hard time, and stay healthy until you come to us.”

As if responding to daddy’s request, the baby kicked precisely where his hand was resting. Herdin couldn’t take his eyes off her belly.

Blair, who had been quietly watching him, said:

“The baby says not to worry, and to stay healthy too, daddy.”

The child in her womb couldn’t say such things yet, so this was her own sentiment.

Knowing this, but still unable to take his hand away from her belly, Blair spoke first.

“It’s a long journey to Jedo, so be careful on your way. And…”

“…”

“Thank you.”

“…”

“I hope you’ll be happy, Herdin.”

Blair smiled at him more brightly than ever before. It was her final farewell.

He wanted to say something to her, but Herdin could only move his lips without uttering a word. Neither “farewell” nor “don’t go.”

He didn’t know.

This situation just felt so unreal. It was as if the effects of last night’s alcohol were still lingering.

As Herdin was staring blankly at her, unable to say anything, there was a knock from a maid.

“My lady, the preparations are complete.”

At that voice, Blair took a small step back, as if she had been waiting for it. The warmth of her belly that had been touching his hand moved away.

“I’ll be going then. Don’t come out.”

Blair gave a small smile and turned away. She left, and the door closed quietly.

Soon, the sound of heels echoing down the corridor began to fade away. With each step, it became more distant, like a dream.

He couldn’t believe it.

That we would become strangers. That we would become nothing to each other.

How could that be?

You clearly loved me. Enough to love me again even after being hurt so much.

You’re still right before my eyes. Under the same sky, within reach if I just run a little.

You’re so close, yet we’ve become people who can’t see each other even if we want to, can’t embrace even if we long to. It didn’t feel real at all.

It felt like she had just gone out for a while and would return in the evening. Like she would come back at night, seeking his warmth and nestling into his arms.

But her retreating footsteps never turned back.

* * *

Luth looked at Herdin with anxious eyes.

Even though it was time he would normally have retired to his bedroom, Herdin was still dealing with a backlog of paperwork.

Although it had been just this afternoon that Blair left, he seemed fine. At least on the outside.

But was he really alright on the inside?

This was the man who had imprisoned Blair, and after she escaped, had scoured the entire continent with blazing eyes. Though twisted, it was clearly love.

And those feelings were still valid now. It was evident in the way he looked at her.

There was no way such a person could be fine.

As Luth was about to suggest that Herdin retire for the night, Herdin spoke first.

“Luth. You go ahead.”

“What about you, Your Grace?”

“I’ll be in soon.”

“Then… good night.”

After hesitating for a moment, Luth bowed and left the office.

Herdin paused as he was signing documents. The ink had smeared, ruining his signature. Just then, the faint sound of the grandfather clock in the mansion’s central hall chimed midnight.

Staring blankly at the smeared document, Herdin sighed, put down his pen, and stood up. Then he immediately left the office.

As he was about to enter the bedroom absent-mindedly, Herdin stopped. The fireplace in the room was blazing. It was a different scene from when Blair was here, when the fire was always out with only embers remaining.

Herdin stared blankly at the fire, then approached the fireplace as if in a trance. There was a table in front of it.

And on top of it, he saw neatly placed envelopes and documents. They were the divorce papers and villa documents Blair had mentioned.

Herdin took out the divorce papers from the envelope.

But there must have been more than just divorce papers in the envelope, because another letter fell out at the same time. His eyes narrowed as he noticed it.

As he unfolded that letter, he saw his name written at the very top in neat handwriting that clearly reflected the owner’s personality.

[Herdin.]

It was handwriting he could recognize at a glance, even without knowing who the sender was.

[I have so much I want to say to you, but first, I want to thank you for keeping your promise to me.

Thank you. For coming back safely, and for accepting the divorce as promised.

I’ve been worried about telling you about the divorce as if I was running away, but I’m glad we can properly settle things now.]

Herdin scoffed at himself.

It was both ridiculous and sad that she was thanking him for the divorce, not knowing his true feelings.

[To be honest, I hated you very much.

But now I know that you loved me in your own way.

Thank you for saving my life and giving me a chance.

With the opportunity you gave me, I was able to change many things in this life. I could face things head-on instead of running away, resolve issues, and make choices.

Meeting you again and falling in love with you was also my choice, and I don’t regret that choice. Although there were many painful days, there were certainly many happy days too.

I’m trying to bury the painful memories and keep only the good ones. So I hope that I won’t be a painful memory for you anymore either.

Wherever you are, whatever you do, I’ll sincerely wish for your happiness always.]

It was an ending befitting her.

Herdin’s hand trembled slightly as he finished reading the letter. At the same time, a sound that was part laugh, part sob escaped his lips.

Only now did it feel real that Blair had left his side.

He realized belatedly that he hadn’t told her to be happy or to take care.

Because he couldn’t accept a tomorrow without her. Because he couldn’t imagine it. He had avoided facing reality and failed to even say goodbye to her. A belated regret pierced him.

How strange. A tomorrow without you.

A scenery without you.

In the room she had left, he finally collapsed quietly.