The Duke Only Needs My Child - Chapter 146

“Herdin.”

Blair smiled softly as she saw him approaching.

There was no resentment, anger, or sadness in her eyes. It was a smile that came from no longer expecting anything from the man who would soon become a stranger.

Herdin, no longer able to face that smile, lowered his gaze. Her noticeably swollen belly caught his eye.

Asiel would be born early next year. Though there were still about three months left, her belly already seemed too much for her delicate frame to bear.

Herdin knelt on one knee before her, meeting her gaze as he spoke.

“How about returning to the capital to prepare for the birth? There are more experienced midwives, and it would be easier to find a physician.”

“I’m fine. Children are born anywhere, and I’m familiar with pregnancy symptoms now.”

Though Asiel was Blair’s first child, this was her second pregnancy. Now, the fear of pregnancy and childbirth had disappeared. So there was nothing her husband could do for her. Nothing at all.

As Herdin hesitated to speak further, Blair spoke first.

“I’ve been thinking while staying here. Whether we could love each other again.”

Herdin looked at Blair as she continued speaking.

Somehow, he felt he knew what she would say next from her smiling expression. He didn’t want to hear those words, but he had no way to refuse.

“But I don’t think this is it.”

“……”

“Can it be called love if I live each day doubting and worrying whether you’ll hurt me again? Can it be called happiness?”

“……”

“I think that would be unfair to both you and me.”

“……Blair.”

Herdin, who had been quietly listening to her words, hastily grabbed her hand. His low, husky voice calling her name and the hand that held hers were trembling slightly.

Feeling this, Blair gently held his hand in return. However, her next words were far from kind.

“Let’s be happy now. Each in our own place.”

Unlike her smile.

Herdin stared blankly at the hand that held his.

Though he was clearly holding it, it felt as empty as grasping an illusion.

* * *

The departure date was set for four days later. It was a date that strongly reflected Blair’s wishes.

Blair wanted to leave this mansion as soon as possible. She didn’t want to leave her traces for long in a place she had to leave anyway.

For his sake, who still loved her.

As her belongings weren’t many to begin with, there was no need to delay the departure time any further.

On the afternoon before her departure, Blair signed the divorce papers. With her favorite fountain pen, neatly.

Just as she was folding the document neatly and placing it in an envelope, there was a knock on the door.

“May I come in?”

It was Herdin.

Blair put the envelope in a drawer. Though it was a document that would be handed to him tomorrow, and he probably knew about it, she didn’t want it to be visible to him today.

After putting away the envelope, Blair approached the door and opened it.

“What is it?”

“If it’s alright with you, I thought we might go out for a bit.”

Blair stared at Herdin for a moment before nodding readily.

“Alright.”

She felt she could allow this much, for him and for herself. For the last time.

* * *

The afternoon sea sparkled with fish scales.

Unlike the rough sea of Nerha that felt like a myth descending upon the city, the sea of Libren felt calm and gentle. It was fascinating how different it felt, despite being the same sea right next to each other.

Blair, who had been staring blankly at the scenery, only looked up at Herdin when she felt the weight of a coat being placed on her shoulders.

“The wind is stronger than expected.”

Herdin buttoned up the coat for her, considering her pregnant belly.

Blair quietly watched him as he knelt on one knee, fastening the buttons. When she saw his gaze rising along with the buttons, she turned her eyes back to the sea before their eyes could meet.

“But it’s nice to come out like this.”

Herdin stood up after fastening all the buttons. The two walked along the seaside scenery.

It was after a group of village children had passed by them that Herdin finally spoke.

“I remembered you wanted to go to the sea, so I wanted to bring you.”

“……”

“Though it seems you’ve already been coming here on your own.”

That conversation had happened more than ten years ago.

Blair blinked at the fact that he remembered something she thought he had completely forgotten.

“You remembered?”

“Because I promised.”

Even though I couldn’t keep it.

There was a hint of self-deprecation in Herdin’s low voice.

“I heard you’re staying in Ikar until the child is born.”

Ikar was one of the neighboring cities adjoining Libren. Blair nodded.

“I thought it would be too much to go far right away in this condition. I plan to leave for another place after the child is born.”

Herdin, who had been walking beside her matching her pace, stopped. Blair felt this and turned to look at him. She met his blue eyes that resembled the sea.

Herdin quietly gazed at Blair, who stood with her back to the sea.

Her platinum blonde hair shimmering in the afternoon sun, her violet eyes reflecting the red sunset, everything that made her…

was beautiful.

Though his eyes stung from the sharp wind, he kept them open, reluctant to miss even a moment of blinking.

After gazing at her as if engraving her image in his eyes, he finally opened his mouth as if he had made a decision.

“……I’m going back to the capital next week, and I don’t plan to come here until the port is completed. So.”

Herdin tucked a stray strand of Blair’s hair behind her ear as he added.

“I’ll give this sea to you.”

“……”

“The sea suits you.”

As he said this, he smiled faintly.

For a moment, his eyes, which had always been like a frozen winter lake, seemed to melt, but Blair ignored it.

She didn’t want to break his precariously frozen lake. For his sake, and for her own.

* * *

His lake broke that night.

After seeing Blair’s luggage being loaded onto the carriage, Herdin returned to his bedroom and drank heavily.

He knew it was the last night he would spend with Blair.

But he didn’t have the courage to face her sober, knowing she would look at him with a clear expression, as if relieved.

If only she would get angry and blame him, it would be better.

A face devoid of resentment or hatred felt like proof that we were really becoming strangers, and it suffocated him.

Herdin only returned to the bedroom late at night when Blair was asleep. As expected, Blair was asleep. With her back turned to him.

By this time tomorrow, he wouldn’t even be able to see this sight.

Herdin let out a sigh mixed with the effects of alcohol as he slowly walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. As he reached out his hand, Blair’s fine platinum hair wrapped around his fingers.

The last. The last time.

The more he repeated that word, the more furious he became, then dumbfounded, and suddenly he wanted to wake her up and cling to her.

Even to himself, his emotions that changed so dramatically in a brief moment seemed like those of a madman.

Though it wasn’t unusual for her to sleep with her back to him due to her swollen belly, suddenly her small back turned away from him felt sorrowful.

Staring at that back, Herdin climbed onto the bed and embraced her from behind. Just as he had done every night.

Belatedly, he thought that Blair might dislike the strong smell of alcohol on him, but since she was asleep and wouldn’t push him away because of the smell, he figured it didn’t matter.

His hand naturally covered her belly. It felt much more swollen than it looked.

At that moment, he felt a clear movement from inside her belly. Just as he thought he might be hallucinating due to the alcohol, her belly moved again.

More precisely, the child inside.

As if turning away from the heartless father who had treated it merely as a means to bind Blair, the child that had never reacted to him before finally kicked his hand. On the night before parting with its father.

Herdin let out a small, bitter laugh at that tiny movement.

Once, he had believed this child would become her shackle. Not knowing that she had wanted this child from the beginning and was only staying with him temporarily.

How foolish and stupid he had been.

After chuckling quietly to himself, he buried his face in his wife’s slender shoulder, his laughter fading.

Her signature sweet scent overwhelmed him, making it hard to breathe.

“……Blair.”

His low, husky voice resonated in the quiet room.

“Blair.”

Herdin desperately grasped Blair’s hand.

Knowing that a sleeping person wouldn’t answer, he kept calling her name. No, he called her because he knew she couldn’t hear him.

He had no justification to hold her back, nor could he do so.

He wanted to send her off with a good image for the last time.

“Can’t you… not go?”

“……”

“I did everything wrong.”

“……”

“I’ll do better, so…”

“……”

“Don’t go. Please.”

At some point during his incessant monologue, he realized Blair was awake. Still, Herdin clung to her, embracing her.

She could think it was the alcohol talking, or that he was crazy. Whatever it took, if he could hold onto even a small part of her heart.

But Blair never turned to look at him.

That dawn was just a fleeting moment for him, and an eternity for her.

We, so different from each other, spent even the same time like that.