The Duke Only Needs My Child - Chapter 133

Upon learning that Katrina was connected to Esmeralda’s death, Herdin immediately came down to the capital.

When Herdin quietly approached Katrina, his first words were neither accusation nor anger…

“Did you know that you visited the Empress’s palace that day?”

It was about whether she had used her daughter’s life.

“How could a mother use her daughter’s life? I did not kill that woman!”

Katrina desperately denied her crime. Looking at her, Herdin sneered coldly.

He felt nauseous seeing her scream with anger on a face that resembled Blair’s.

“Then at least, you used my wife, who was the victim of that incident. To hide the truth and remove yourself from the list of suspects?”

“…”

“It must have been fortunate for Your Majesty that you had an accident there that day.”

Unable to readily refute Herdin’s sarcasm, Katrina belatedly opened her mouth.

“I…!”

But at that moment, Herdin, who had been looking at her with cold eyes, spoke first.

“I won’t ask any more about that incident. However.”

He continued, swallowing his rising anger.

“Never again try to act as family to my wife.”

“…”

“That’s the condition for covering up that incident.”

Ivan and Katrina were eager to fill their own pockets using Blair as a leash around their necks.

Were they truly a loving mother and brother to Blair?

The answer wasn’t difficult to guess.

But still, they were Blair’s only mother and brother.

It was clear that she, who had lived her whole life as a good daughter, would be deeply hurt if she learned that her mother had used her accident as a means.

So instead of clearing Esmeralda’s false charges, Herdin chose to bury the truth, prioritizing Blair’s well-being.

Because she was more precious to him than the truth he had pursued his whole life.

As Herdin left the Empress Dowager’s palace, burying his guilt towards Esmeralda in his heart, Blair appeared before him.

His wife, whom he hadn’t seen for half a year, had become a full-fledged pregnant woman. Even her rounded belly, which he hadn’t seen before, was lovely.

“Herdin. Can’t you spare an hour, no, just thirty minutes…?”

His wife pleaded, looking at him earnestly with those beautiful eyes. Cradling her greatly swollen belly that he hadn’t seen before.

In the carriage heading to the duke’s residence, Blair suggested he touch her belly, but Herdin refused.

If he touched her warmth, if he felt the baby’s movements, he feared he might forget his cruel power and want to stay by her side.

Suppressing his desire to touch her, he endured, and that night, he visited Blair’s bedroom while she was asleep.

However, he couldn’t bring himself to wake her, who had barely fallen into a light sleep with her uncomfortable body, and just quietly watched over her.

Seeing her carrying his child, his resolve to cut off her feelings for him, which he had wanted to do by giving up on finding a method, grew even stronger.

I cannot let you go, you who are carrying my child, you who still love me despite being so hurt, so I hope you will let me go.

There were just over two months left until the child’s birth.

Herdin vowed to return before then without fail.

“…Wait for me just a little longer.”

He whispered thus and rose.

However, that promise could not be kept.

* * *

A month and a few days later.

Herdin, who had gone to an ancient ruin in search of a way to sever the power of the divine beast, received sudden news there.

“Your Grace! Madam has given birth to your son!”

At this, Herdin’s eyes wavered.

“The child… was born? I thought there were still over two weeks left until the due date.”

The due date is just an estimate, not necessarily the exact day of birth. But Herdin, who had never experienced pregnancy and childbirth, didn’t know this fact.

Confused by the sudden news, Herdin first asked about Blair’s condition.

“My wife? Is she alright?”

“Yes. They are both healthy.”

Luth added happily.

“Congratulations on becoming a father, Your Grace.”

Relieved to hear that Blair was safe, Herdin laughed hollowly at Luth’s congratulations.

He had come to this place, leaving behind his wife who was struggling to give birth to his child, and still hadn’t found a way to save her.

He had become a father without properly fulfilling his roles as a husband or a father.

Should he be happy about this?

Did he even deserve to be congratulated?

At that moment when he should have been happier than anyone else, he was crumbling under a terrible sense of powerlessness.

* * *

For half a year after the child was born, Herdin never visited the duke’s residence.

During that time, he gave up on finding a way to break the second restriction and changed his method. He decided to hunt down and kill all the dark mages.

Herdin killed, and killed, and killed again the dark mages he found. Thinking that among them might be the one who cast the dark magic on him and Blair.

But no matter how many he hunted down and slaughtered, the imprint with Blair didn’t break, and as he repeated the endless killing, his mind grew emptier.

Yet he still loved her.

And she, too, still loved him.

It was such a tenacious emotion.

As he became numb to everything except her alone due to the repeated killings, Miela, who had been hovering around him, suggested:

“Use me, Your Grace.”

Miela told him to use her to detach Blair’s feelings for him, and Herdin accepted the proposal without much thought.

He would use Miela to cut off Blair’s feelings for him, and he would live embracing her for the rest of his life, receiving her hatred and resentment. That would be enough.

His reputation that would be damaged by the scandal, Blair’s feelings that would be hurt by it – none of it mattered to him, who had become numb from repeated killings. Only his love for Blair was precious to him.

Thus, Herdin returned to Blair’s side. With Miela.

* * *

Half a year passed since then.

When Herdin first returned to the mansion, Blair tried to restore their relationship using Asiel, but soon gave up.

Nevertheless, her eyes still loved him.

Even though she must have known that many people were whispering that Miela was Herdin’s mistress both inside and outside.

Around the time when Blair’s love for him was no longer pleasing, Miela came to him.

While healing Herdin’s wounds, who had just returned from slaying a dark mage, she asked:

“How about showing your relationship with me more directly to your wife?”

One of Herdin’s eyebrows raised.

“…More directly?”

“For example… there’s the method of you embracing me, Your Grace.”

At this, Herdin burst into incredulous laughter. But it was only for a moment. Soon, he glared at her with fierce eyes.

“I had guessed when you said a woman serving God admired a man who already had a wife and child, but I didn’t expect you to act like a whore.”

“You want to save the Duchess, don’t you?”

“…”

“I know that even if Your Grace embraces me, you won’t love me. I’ve decided to willingly corrupt myself for your sake.”

Miela’s expression as she said this was as solemn as someone who had decided on a noble sacrifice. Her appearance, drunk on her own emotions as if the other person’s feelings didn’t matter at all, was terribly disgusting.

“…You’ve completely lost your mind.”

“I love you. I love you, Your Grace.”

Miela confessed, embracing him as if she couldn’t see Herdin’s reaction.

Just as Herdin, sensing something was seriously wrong, was about to shake her off, he noticed the slightly open door of the study.

Through that gap, his eyes met Blair’s.

Her large purple eyes were shaking violently.

Only then did Herdin realize that this was all Miela’s trap. At the same time, her words came to mind.

‘You want to save the Duchess, don’t you?’

If he could endure this moment, he might be able to cut off Blair’s love for him. Without even needing to spend the night with Miela.

After hesitating for a moment, Herdin embraced Miela and looked at Blair.

Just this once. Telling himself that this one time would be enough to save her.

In that instant that felt like an eternity, as nausea rose, Blair turned away with hurt eyes and disappeared.

Watching her leave, Herdin laughed hollowly.

She was the one who was hurt, yet it felt as if his own heart had been pierced.

* * *

The next day, Blair left with the child, saying she was going down to the villa to celebrate Asiel’s birthday.

However, the imprint still remained.

Confirming the imprint on his back, Herdin laughed as if crying.

What on earth am I to you?

How can you not let go of me, who hated you for your mother’s sin, who didn’t visit even once while you were struggling with pregnancy?

He could be certain now.

Even if he honestly told her about the imprint, even if she learned that she could die because of it… he couldn’t cut off her feelings for him.

Realizing that he could no longer cut off her feelings by hurting Blair, Herdin sent Miela away that day.

And he was planning to go down to the villa where Blair and Asiel were to celebrate the child’s birthday.

Until he received information about an ancient ruin.

“Your Grace, they say an ancient ruin related to the divine beast has been discovered in the western Elir Plains.”

There were still ten days left until Asiel’s birthday, and the Elir Plains were within a week’s journey if one rode without rest.

Herdin modified his plans to go to the villa and headed for the ancient ruin instead.

With a faint hope that they might be able to spend Asiel’s birthday together as a family for the first time.