“Did I do something wrong? If I made a mistake, I’ll fix it.”

Hearing Blair’s question, unaware of the circumstances, Herdin couldn’t help but laugh bitterly.

The fault was not hers, but his own.

The sin of loving her. The sin of entangling her in dark magic.

“…No.”

“If something’s wrong, please tell me honestly. I’m your wife.”

Blair asked desperately with tearful eyes. But even that sight was so lovable that, paradoxically, he couldn’t tell her the truth.

He couldn’t make her anxious by telling her she might get caught up in his rampage.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

Herdin answered, cupping her cheek. Then, as if about to kiss her, he leaned in and met her eyes.

As always, his reflection was captured in her lovely violet eyes.

“Herdin?”

“…It’s alright.”

I will surely save you. I’ll solve all the problems and return to your side.

“Everything will be fine.”

It was a statement for her, but also a promise to himself.

Herdin kissed her, avoiding her eyes that sought an answer. Her sweet body scent, mixed with the alcohol, overwhelmed him.

His desire, which had been longing for that warmth and fragrance for so long, flared up uncontrollably with just one kiss.

Swept up in emotion, he hastily embraced Blair without even undressing.

“Ugh, Herdin…”

Blair, forced to accept him before her body was properly prepared, embraced Herdin despite the discomfort.

That small warmth, that tiny gesture of desperately craving him just as he did her, drove him mad.

After reaching his climax once, Herdin belatedly tried to regain his senses and pull away, but Blair held onto him. She wrapped her slender arms around his back and kissed him.

Her desperate attempt to hold onto him broke what little reason he had regained.

Herdin explored Blair all night long.

He left his marks all over her white skin and filled her endlessly with his heat. Persistently, over and over, as if engraving her into his memory.

Even knowing that she would be in danger if he stayed by her side, even knowing that after this night he would have to separate from her again, he simply couldn’t stop in that moment.

He came to his senses the next dawn, after waking up.

Seeing Blair sleeping in his arms, Herdin regretted his impulsive actions from the night before.

Until this problem was solved, he would have to stay away from Blair, and he couldn’t even tell her why, so he shouldn’t have given in to his emotions like this.

But even as he thought this, he found it amusing how he still didn’t want to leave her side.

Herdin, having barely composed himself, got up before Blair could wake. If she woke up and looked at him with those eyes, he feared he might go mad and stay by her side.

However, no sooner had he risen from the bed than Blair opened her eyes. As Herdin froze, caught in her gaze, Blair blinked away her sleepiness and grabbed his hand, asking,

“…Are you very busy today as well?”

When Herdin didn’t answer, Blair leaned her face against his hand that she was holding and asked more directly.

“If you’re not busy, can’t you stay with me a little longer?”

Those eyes yearning for his love, the warmth of her hand desperately holding onto him lest he leave, were heartbreaking.

Herdin barely swallowed his emotions and pulled his hand from her grasp. Then, covering her fragile shoulders exposed outside the blanket, he spoke in a deliberately indifferent voice.

“Sleep a little more.”

As he turned away, those pitifully trembling eyes left a lasting impression on his heart.

* * *

Afterwards, Herdin once again distanced himself from Blair and sought more accurate information about dark magic. With the sole determination to regain their daily life together.

But he only uncovered the basic information that to break the spell, the caster of the magic must be killed. He neither found another method nor discovered the caster of the dark magic. Moreover, now he had nightmares even when Blair wasn’t by his side.

As time passed and there was no progress for a long time, his resolve to solve this problem and return to her side began to waver.

For the first time, Herdin doubted his choice.

Should I have told you the truth and let you go instead?

Then one day, unexpected news came from Mason, who urgently sought him out.

“Your Excellency, the Madam… has collapsed.”

He said that Blair had fainted while attempting hypnosis with a hypnotist.

When Herdin rushed to see her upon hearing the news, Blair had fortunately regained consciousness. However, her face showed considerable shock after hearing the doctor’s words.

Could it be a serious illness?

As his heart sank with an ominous feeling, the doctor spoke in an excited voice.

“Congratulations, Your Excellency. The Madam is with child.”

The doctor tactfully left to give the couple their joyous moment, leaving the two alone in the room.

Hearing the unexpected news, Herdin blankly stared at Blair and her stomach, which showed no signs yet.

A child resembling him and her was growing in her womb.

Having spent countless nights with her, he had vaguely thought that they would become parents in the not-too-distant future. And he firmly believed that the child resembling them both would make them even happier.

But even though he had heard the news he had been waiting for, he couldn’t just be happy.

Why now?

Why, when I can’t even be by your side?

Even though it was a situation to be joyful about, worry came first. The fear that this child might also experience the same terrible fate as himself took precedence.

At the same time, anger welled up at the current situation that had led her, no longer alone, to attempt hypnosis, and at his own powerlessness. That barely suppressed anger misdirected itself.

“Why on earth did you attempt hypnosis?”

Blair, who had been about to speak about the child first, was taken aback by his sharp tone and answered as if making an excuse.

“I know you’ve been investigating the truth about the Empress Palace fire from ten years ago. I wanted to help you…”

Hearing Blair’s words, Herdin laughed bitterly.

It seemed someone had told her that he was investigating the Empress Palace fire incident.

Probably after hearing that, she had forcibly tried to recall the memories she so feared.

Thinking that would ease his mind. Desperately trying to hold onto his distancing heart even in that way.

Guessing the feelings with which she had attempted hypnosis, his throat tightened.

More than the fact that she knew he was investigating the Empress Palace incident, the thought that he needed to ensure she would never even dare to do such a dangerous thing again took precedence.

“After ignoring it for ten years, do you now feel guilty?”

“…”

“Don’t do anything more. Just, stay still. As you have been doing all this time.”

For the first time, Blair cried bitterly.

Although she often looked on the verge of tears, she had never actually cried in front of him, but that day she couldn’t hide her tears. The sight was truly pitiful.

He wanted to embrace her.

He wanted to comfort her, saying that such things weren’t important anymore, that nothing was more precious to him than her.

But he couldn’t risk putting her in danger by giving in to momentary emotions.

If everything went wrong, he had to consider the possibility of severing her feelings for him.

Leaving Blair in tears, Herdin left the room and collapsed right outside the closed door.

Only then did he realize he had never told her that he loved her.

The unsaid sincerity became a dagger, piercing his own heart.

A laugh that sounded like a sob escaped through his gritted teeth as he faced the cruel reality.

* * *

Sometime after that, Herdin headed to the Delmark main castle, where more records of his ancestors remained.

Leaving behind Blair, who was carrying his child, all alone.

* * *

Time flew by swiftly, even in the pain that felt like his heart had been left behind.

From the summer he left Blair’s side, through autumn, and until winter, there was little progress in the investigation of dark magic.

Herdin now wished that Blair would hate and resent him. He thought that if only he could break the shackles of this terrible power, if she could be safe from him, it would be alright.

Even if she no longer loved him, it would be enough that he would love her forever.

But her feelings for him didn’t break. Like her letters that arrived every week.

[Herdin, a few days ago, the baby moved for the first time. Actually, it probably wasn’t the first time, but rather that I’ve only just noticed the greetings it’s been sending all along.

They say the baby can hear mom and dad’s voices now. I wish you could greet the baby too…] [Herdin, the wind has gotten very cold. I heard it’s even colder in the north, are you doing well?

Our baby is growing well. Recently, its movements have become very active. Um, this is just my thought, but judging from the intense kicking, it seems like it might be a son who takes after you. Of course, a daughter would be wonderful too. Do you…]

Even as he wished for her love for him to break, he foolishly rejoiced whenever he received a letter. At the same time, his heart ached with the replies he couldn’t send.

He missed her, wanted to hold her.

He wanted to caress her swollen belly and greet their child.

Then one day, news arrived that he had to return to the capital.

“Your Excellency, it seems… the true culprit behind the Empress Palace fire incident might be the Empress Dowager.”