#71

…And the old man.

I put strength into my shoulders from which my belt was falling mercilessly. Ah, yes, the old man.

That dog-like bastard who beat me like a dog. The one who didn’t know his place and stabbed Johannes in the neck. In this prison without iron bars, all I wished for was Johannes’ well-being, the bright future he deserved. The one who shattered everything I had protected while tearing myself apart…

That worm-like old man.

With every breath I drew and exhaled, it felt as if thin ice was forming. Trembling, I kissed Johannes’ cold cheek. I touched the corner of his eyes too, but I couldn’t… I couldn’t bring myself to close his eyes, so I left them as they were. Because I didn’t want to lose that blue color until the very last moment.

And I felt around Johannes’ waist.

I grasped the hilt of the sword tucked at his waistband and pulled it out. The sword I held for the first time was long and heavy, not easy to draw out, but I managed somehow. Swish. With a chilling sound, the blade was revealed, and suddenly the beating stopped.

Looking back, I saw the old man glaring at me with a hideously distorted expression. In my mind, struck by lightning, I asked myself. Ah, could I handle this bastard?

No. It didn’t seem possible. But one thing was clear. The tower that had surrounded me had completely crumbled.

I spoke clearly so that the old man could hear, squeezing out my voice. I couldn’t control the rising anger, and I had nothing left to lose.

That day, I don’t know how I stood up. My hands, already soaked in blood and tears. Using the unfamiliar sword as a cane, I slipped several times while trying to raise my body that seemed about to collapse at any moment. Somehow, I managed to point the tip of the sword at the old man with all my might, though it wavered unsteadily, but I felt I could die without regrets like this.

One step.

The old man, who had been glaring at me as if his guts were twisted, started to back away as he approached me. Of course, he probably wasn’t afraid of me. Being a petty person who would throw a fit over a single scratch, he seemed to be thinking of calling for soldiers for his own safety.

The old man flung open the entrance and shouted out. His intonation was so strong that I couldn’t understand the content.

But my arm, freshly freed from restraint, trembled like that of a child left alone in a square, ignorant of the ways of the world. While I might be able to handle the old man whose bones had all but rotted away, I didn’t have the confidence to deal with sturdy soldiers.

There was no way to cope with the unfamiliar fear. After shouting with such vigor, everything went dark before my eyes. In the midst of this, biting my tear-soaked lips tightly was just a desperate pride not to let that bastard see my feelings. And the sorrow built up over 9 years in the tower.

Ah, if I can’t at least half-kill you, I won’t leave quietly. Just as I steeled my resolve with tears like muddy water, at that moment.

I was completely startled.

Hands.

Someone’s hands from behind me painfully covered my eyes.

The fingers covering my eyes were so weakly spread that they couldn’t properly shield my view, but I couldn’t move an inch, as if I had sunk below my neck.

Thud. Someone’s forehead seemed to fall against the back of my head.

Every time ‘he’ behind me breathed, a low gurgling sound like boiling water resonated. That sound seemed to whisper to me.

You shouldn’t see anything.

The wide-open entrance. The torchlight flickering on the corridor walls spread through the gaps between the fingers covering me. While the old man with his skeletal face, covered in shock, hesitated, the entrance slammed shut with a bang! It looked as if a sudden wind had blown in from somewhere.

Such an enclosed darkness.

I heard sounds of the old man floundering by the door, seemingly surprised that his escape route was blocked. And the hand that had been covering my eyes slowly moved. It covered my ears. As if telling me not to hear anything this time either.

He seemed uneasy with just that. He reached out with both arms to my wrist holding the sword hilt, embracing me. Clang. The sword fell from my hand as strength left it at that touch. I’m not sure if I breathed at that moment. I felt completely bewitched. I was led by the touch holding me to cover my ears myself.

The hand in the darkness only left me slowly after confirming that I was firmly covering my ears, as if finally reassured. The presence that had been closely pressed against my back, leaning towards me several times as if with some difficulty, staggered away towards the old man.

And I lowered my hands, negating his efforts.

Just like on that night of the first wedding, in the inner chamber where even the objects right in front of me were hard to discern, I clearly heard the sound of the beast from 8 years ago, no, the ‘corpse of my man’ that had been lying on the bed, tearing at the throat of a new beast.

Crunch. Crack.

It was the sound of bones breaking. Was it this easy?

Whatever I had been enduring for. The old man who had oppressed me met his end with a death without even a single scream, making all of my long, long patience seem utterly futile.

And thud. That sound, which must have been the old man falling to the floor, was like the sound of the rotten water that had been pooled inside me suddenly overflowing. The emptied vessel, having drained every last drop of moisture, didn’t even shed a single tear. It felt as if this body wasn’t mine.

He approached me as I stood there blankly. His steps were clearly unsteady.

“……”

He stopped abruptly a few steps in front of me. Just standing there, like a beast seeking my permission. It was a presence as if there was an invisible wall between us, and he had been stopped by it.

“Jo… han?”

I confirmed the owner of the presence with a trembling voice. But no answer came back. He still made only sounds like boiling water, without any words. Finally, I hesitantly stretched my arm forward. I groped forward, fumbling through the air.

Thud. After not going far, my steps were blocked by someone’s body. With fingertips that wouldn’t stop trembling, I felt around that upper body and finally found the familiar arm, which I grasped tightly.

“How… How on earth…”

Your dead eyes, I clearly saw them.

It was then that the bedroom entrance flung open. Streams of light mercilessly tore into the inner chamber as if pushing in the soldiers. I could finally see Johannes’ face, which alone received the diagonally entering light.

My gaze crawled up his neck, where the arrow that had pierced through was still horrifyingly visible. His cheeks, completely drained of blood, were as pale as a corpse. So pale that it seemed almost completely white in contrast to one cheek and the side of his head that had become soaked red while he was collapsed.

And Johannes’ expression as he looked down at me seemed terribly bitter, as if he had bile on his tongue. Confused questions pressed hard against my temples.

How, how on earth?

And then, I think shouts from the soldiers like ‘My Lord!’ or ‘Catch them!’ burst out in disorder. At that critical moment. Johannes, who had glanced at the soldiers rushing in as if to turn the inner chamber upside down, turned his body towards them. The hand that I had been holding habitually went to the empty scabbard at his waist.

“No!”

I embraced his waist, which seemed like it might leave alone. And I shouted.

“Don’t go…!”

Without any thought, it was an instinctive cry that came out just from the feeling that I might lose him again. Johannes’ steps, which were about to move forward, stiffened for a moment. As our bodies pressed tightly together, the blood-stained arrowhead brushed past my ear and went behind.

And suddenly my whole body was lifted into the air.

Johannes, who had slung me over his shoulder, ran towards the window on the opposite side of the entrance. In the blink of an eye we were at the window, and then our two bodies caught on the outer wall outside the window. A cold wind that seemed to sweep through the air, shua-a, wrapped around my nightgown and hair.

When I briefly raised my head, dangling in midair, I saw Henric mixed in among the soldiers. With undisguised shock draped over his mask-like face, he looked more human than ever.

Johannes, who had leapt over the window, held onto the windowsill with one hand for a moment, and then, before the soldiers could approach the window, he adjusted his posture and immediately let go. As we fell, cutting through the cool air, a feeling of buoyancy came over me as if my insides were floating.

I couldn’t even make a sound of surprise. Without being able to organize my confused thoughts, I just clung to Johannes’ shoulders. The ice-cold temperature of the nape of the neck that touched my arm is still vivid to this day.

Like that of a corpse.

I closed my eyes completely. I felt like my soul might leave me, but strangely, I didn’t think I would die. During the fall, Johannes seemed to grab onto a lower floor’s windowsill as my whole body jerked for a moment. But he couldn’t hold on for long and we fell again.

The sound of hitting the ground was tremendous.

Johannes, embracing me, hit the ground shoulder-first, and I only felt a bit sore thanks to Johannes properly protecting me. No, actually, at the time I didn’t even know my body was hurting. Because Johannes, who let out a short groan when we hit the ground, couldn’t get up.

“Johannes…?”

Thud. His head, which had been holding up for a moment while embracing me, fell to the ground.

“Johannes!”

I hurriedly escaped from Johannes’ limp embrace. I knelt beside his head but didn’t dare to shake him. What if he had hit his head? I felt that if I touched him wrong, he might never open his eyes again.

Yes, ‘again’.

I just cradled his cheek with my trembling hand and looked up.

I didn’t know the tower we had jumped from was so high. Dark figures were crowded at the window at a dizzying height. Although no footsteps could be heard, it was clear that there would be more than a few people pursuing us down besides the soldiers at the window, even without trying to confirm it.

So there was no reason or time to think further. I frantically pushed my arm under Johannes’ shoulder. Warmth.

At the warmth slightly felt through the thin nightgown, tears welled up, absurdly relieved even in such an urgent moment when every breath was trembling. I couldn’t even be conscious of the questions that had filled me due to Johannes’ state, which was more like a living corpse. I just felt like I would burst into tears, inwardly shouting, ‘He’s alive. He’s alive!’

It was when I had half-raised Johannes and sat him on the ground that he opened his eyes.

In the moonlit empty lot, he suddenly straightened his posture with his own strength, having been leaning his forehead against me as if in my embrace. Johannes, gripping my shoulders with trembling hands, bowed his head deeply as if strength wouldn’t return at all, then blinked his eyes a few times with difficulty as if his eyelids were heavy, and slowly met my gaze.

“……”

It must have been because of the arrow stuck in his neck. With his brow slightly furrowed, he still couldn’t say anything. But those pupils no longer unfocused, those pitiful blue eyes narrowly directed at me as if his breath might stop, ah, that gaze.

“Johannes. Johannes…”

It was like a miracle, shining blackly like a monster.