#54

She replied unenthusiastically and stood facing the shelf. Soon, she raised her arms like willow branches and began rummaging through the jars lined up in a row. Griselda silently gazed at Sieglinde’s profile as she checked inside the jars without complaint. Truly….

It was a sculpted nose bridge. Her cheeks, lightly made up to appear healthy, were quite beautiful even to another woman like herself. Her hair covering was nowhere to be seen, and her long, loose golden hair seemed to emit a pleasant fragrance. It was mesmerizing.

How can all the women of the Central region be so uniformly beautiful? Griselda stared at the eyebrows that looked as if drawn one by one with a brush, reminded of the duchess. In contrast, the cook’s expression was fierce, as if saying she couldn’t bear to watch this vulgar behavior. She openly frowned.

Sieglinde calmly opened her lips.

“If the child is precious, you should start showing some improvement now. Everyone keeps quiet, but didn’t you have a seizure just a few days ago?”

“Sieglinde…!”

“That, in my opinion, is because of the young lord.”

“Can’t you shut your mouth?”

The cook who had been listening suddenly shouted. Due to the volume of her voice, attention from the surroundings focused on the three of them. Sieglinde didn’t seem to care at all, not even raising an eyebrow. She only thinly pursed her lips, devoid of emotion.

Griselda, scanning the area, stood next to Sieglinde, blocking the pouring gazes with her back. The looks coming from near the cauldron hurt more than any thorns.

“You really have no fear. What are you trying to do?”

Griselda whispered softly.

“You shouldn’t speak carelessly when you don’t know anything.”

“Can’t I even speak…? It’s not like I’m making things up.”

Sieglinde muttered indifferently. Then suddenly, she turned her head towards Griselda. Griselda was a bit taken aback by the temperature of the gaze falling on her.

Cold blue eyes that felt almost hot. It seemed like they could burn her eyelids. Though they were similar blue eyes to her husband’s, they could feel so different. Somehow, it was difficult to look directly at them.

“…What do you know, anyway.”

It seemed Sieglinde was quite displeased that a young woman of similar status had reprimanded her. Her tone, as cold as her gaze, fell on Griselda’s nose bridge. Griselda could only manage to retort after swallowing hard.

“Well, I… No, I’ve been by the duchess’s side for quite some time…”

“You must think I’m blind and deaf.”

Thud.

A dull sound rang out briefly. It was the sound of Sieglinde putting down the salt jar on the workbench.

“I’m someone who grew up with the duchess. Someone who had to listen to her groans night after night in that drafty wooden fortress. So, of course, I know more about the duchess than you do, don’t I?”

“But…”

“It’s not because of the child.”

Sieglinde didn’t allow Griselda to interject.

“You must have seen it too, Griselda. Doesn’t the duchess enter and exit the child’s room a dozen times a day lately? Each time, doesn’t she lift the young lord three times, stamp her foot three times, recite a prayer three times, and then open and close the door three times before leaving? And you say it’s not because of the child?”

In fact, she also touches her necklace three times, but that’s not an important issue. She swallowed the words she couldn’t say.

“Alright. That’s enough now.”

Griselda, feeling urgent, grabbed Sieglinde’s sleeve. Sieglinde brushed her off with ingrained elegance and said,

“…You, as the wet nurse, have no idea what the duchess mutters when she’s alone in her bedroom. If she’s interrupted even once and misses a count, she always makes sure to complete the full twelve times. Have you ever heard that voice?”

At that moment, Sieglinde suddenly shuddered as if struck by a chill. It didn’t seem like an intentionally affected gesture. Her face, which had slightly furrowed her brow, could be seen taking on the pale color of porcelain.

“Yes, I suppose we shouldn’t say it’s because of the child after all. She’s just…”

Sieglinde, who had been rambling on despite attempts to stop her, suddenly startled herself and cut off mid-sentence. The way she bit her lip while holding her breath made her seem like someone choking back a frustrated anger after hitting some kind of wall.

“I… thought everything would be fine once we left the fortress.”

She muttered, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Even after leaving like this, nothing has changed. Nothing at all. …It’s creepy. Really.”

What followed was a quiet and ominous sentiment that had turned completely into a monologue.

Griselda was at a loss for words at Sieglinde’s fearless attitude. While she herself had been feeling the gazes on her back growing painfully hot, she couldn’t understand what this woman trusted to speak so freely. It was incredibly uncomfortable and even anxiety-inducing to be part of this conversation that laid bare the mistress’s private matters.

She had known for some time that the duchess’s condition was not as good as before.

No, it wasn’t just knowing. She had even prided herself on knowing better than anyone else. But there were good reasons why she hadn’t breathed a word of it anywhere.

Wasn’t it just a few years ago that rumors about the duchess’s maternal family were rampant?

If the stories had been completely baseless and absurd, they might have been laughed off, but every time news of the duchess’s seizures spread from ear to ear, no one could help but think of curses. Everyone had simply become adept at pretending not to see or hear what they had seen and heard.

Sieglinde quietly turned her head towards where there were no people.

“To tell the truth, I wasn’t unaware that she would end up like this. She was bound to break down at least once before dying anyway.”

“You wench!”

The cook shouted from a few steps away.

“The more I hear, the more outrageous things you say!”

Her fists were clenched as if ready to lunge forward at any moment. Griselda, at a loss for what to do, first looked around. She could see the servants who had been merely glancing sidelong until now, each stopped in their places as if they might approach at any moment. Her knees began to feel weak.

“That family has always been like that… They always either went mad or died.”

Sieglinde continued to mutter without pause. Her tone was uncharacteristically agitated.

“Now that everyone else is dead, it’s the duchess’s turn.”

“You wench, where! Where are you determined to die saying such things!”

“Don’t you know? It’s all a curse. They say they went around killing people like evil spirits in the old days, so they’ve all been cursed. They’ve incurred resentment.”

“You’ve gone mad!”

“If only the curse were divine punishment, they might be able to atone. But they can never escape. It’s shackles.”

“Stop it!”

Unable to bear it any longer, Griselda grabbed Sieglinde’s shoulder and turned her around. She thought this woman really seemed determined to die. By now, it wouldn’t have been strange if someone had run out to find a guard.

Suddenly finding herself face to face with Griselda, Sieglinde abruptly frowned. She pinched her nose and hurriedly stepped back three paces. Startled by this reaction, Griselda could only blink in bewilderment. Sieglinde, her face contorted, suddenly asked.

“What did you eat?”

It was an unexpected question. Like anyone faced with a sudden problem, Griselda’s focus momentarily blurred. Oh, what did I eat? Griselda momentarily forgot the previous argument and reflexively pondered the answer. Soon, without even thinking to lower her raised hand, she answered haltingly.

“Radish… roots…?”

“Ugh!”

Sieglinde’s entire body bent violently. Lurching forward, she heaved and retched for a moment. Then, covering her mouth, she turned and ran out, leaving the salt jar behind.

Her slender back, nearly falling over, reached the outer pillar of the kitchen and twisted sharply from the shoulders outward. The last fluttering of her skirt hem from inside was sucked out along with her golden hair, and soon disappeared without a trace.

Griselda couldn’t close her mouth. It felt like she had witnessed a small storm head-on.

“That… That…! Ill-mannered wench…!”

The cook, who had been staring dumbfounded in the direction Sieglinde had disappeared, finally began to spew curses.

“She needs to be beaten like a bundle of red beans to come to her senses. How can anyone have such a foul mouth? That girl, her head will roll soon. Yes, I guarantee it.”

Griselda could not tear her eyes away from the entrance. After listening for quite a while to the harsh voice barely registering in her waterlogged ears, she stumbled towards the cauldron.

Somehow, her cheeks felt slightly flushed. Her heart was racing as if she had been stripped naked in broad daylight, and she didn’t know where to look. She couldn’t hide her unpleasant and embarrassed feelings. Did I eat something I shouldn’t have? To retch like that right in front of someone. How could she do that?

“She seemed to be in a good mood just a few days ago, why is she suddenly like this…”

Unless she’s pregnant….

Griselda, muttering to herself, suddenly realized. Her steps came to a halt. This is no ordinary matter. She doesn’t even have a husband yet.

“It’s obvious.”

Somehow, the sound of clicking tongues came from right in front of her near the cauldron. Griselda finally raised her head and focused. The cook was grumbling while stirring with a ladle.

“There were persistent rumors about her bad behavior, weren’t there? This time it seems she’s fooling around with some priest, you know, that… That man with the decent looks… It seems she’s not on good terms with him these days. As if it wasn’t bad enough that she was swinging her lower half around just because her face is somewhat pretty, this is just perfect. I’m just so pleased about it.”

Whether she really hadn’t noticed or was pretending not to know. There wasn’t even a fingernail’s worth of sympathy in the cook’s tone. Had Sieglinde’s conduct really been that bad? I don’t know. Griselda said nothing. It wasn’t even her business, but she felt as if her heart was sinking completely.

A love affair is fine, but why a priest of all people? Moreover, pregnancy.

Unless that man were to give up his priesthood, the child would become illegitimate. And a woman who bears an illegitimate child, Sieglinde, would inevitably….

Griselda shook her head vigorously. Ah, what mad priest would abandon his vocation? She wanted to grab Sieglinde, who wasn’t even there, and demand if she was in her right mind. Thwack! Thwack! Already, the sound of flesh-tearing stone throws and choking screams seemed to assault her ears.

Suddenly, Griselda’s entire body froze. As she stood there, unable to control her tumultuous heart, something occurred to her. When was it? Although her cycle had been irregular for a while, it had never been this late before. One, two, counting on her fingers as she racked her memory, she unknowingly cradled her own belly. Her dazed gaze fell heavily on the back of her hand.

For several months now, she had not had her period.

If one were to pick just one day in Griselda’s life that she regretted the most, it would undoubtedly be that day.

That day when she rushed to find her husband, certain of her pregnancy. That day when she felt as if she owned the world, even for that brief moment while searching for her husband, for the child they had waited and waited for. Yes, that day.

Everything came to an end.

Griselda would occasionally writhe in agony. If only she hadn’t become pregnant. Or if she had realized it on a different day rather than that day, would something have been different?

No, from the beginning, there was nothing she could have done of her own volition. Isn’t it something that human power can neither resist nor prevent? Even so, the tragedy lies in the inability to not regret it.

That night.

Upon hearing the news of Griselda’s pregnancy, her husband ran to the warehouse, screaming, and set it on fire.