#5
Terrified, I sensed death.
Should I scream? Would someone hear and come? Could I survive that way? In this dazed state, I belatedly and desperately sought a way to live.
However, there was one problem. If by chance I called for help and survived, those who saved me would become witnesses to punish me. How could I atone for the sin of infiltrating a man’s room in the dead of night?
Punishment.
I ask, do you know the fate of a lascivious woman?
First, her hair is cut and she is stripped naked. Mounted on a muscular black horse, she is paraded around the entire estate with a servant leading the reins.
Until the wounds from thrown stones fester. Until she collapses from hunger and thirst, and her mind seizes from excessive shame. Had I been merely a serf’s daughter, I would not have to endure such punishment.
The aftermath was clear as day. Branded and forever unable to remarry, I would be banished. With luck, to a convent cell, or to some distant wasteland. The disposal of a useless daughter was solely in the hands of the stern patriarch, my father.
If 14 years of solitude was difficult, how would an endless life of isolation be? Could I survive in a barren land with only scorpions and dust? No. I did not think I could bear it. What could I do with these soft hands that could barely embroider? And before that…
What if Johannes was cut down and killed by the knights who came upon hearing the scream? Johannes, who was caught up in this mess purely because of my foolishness – what sin had he committed?
Furthermore, when I thought that Johannes might have to live the rest of his life in such a state, ah, I could see no way out. Even if I could live, I could not live. Johannes. Johannes. The name of the absent person fell like tears. They flowed so well, drop after drop. I had no shame.
In that moment of such burning passion.
I don’t know how long I stayed like that. I think I remained in the devil’s embrace for quite some time. At some point, the devil released my mouth and braced against the wall.
Etching its greasy nails and protruding finger joints into my mind, I was sobbing soundlessly when I sensed something strange.
It was breathing on the back of my ear. Its lips almost touched, but not quite. Only its heat touched like another skin, passing my ear, bit by bit. Bit by bit. Downward.
In other words, it was breathing almost like a kiss. Fire shot from my eyes. The breath following my neckline down to my shoulder was chilling. As it bent its upper body, its hand also left the door, and I caught sight of it bracing against the door with only its black nails. What was this situation? Just as goosebumps were rising from my waist.
It, the devil, collapsed.
The horned head struck my shoulder with a thud and fell. I whirled around to see the massive form writhing painfully in a crumpled heap.
With the transcendent force that had blocked my escape gone, seeing it merely groaning pathetically, I flung open the door and ran out. There was no need for further deliberation.
The corridor was still empty. I, who couldn’t see anything anyway, sprinted all the way to the third floor. I ran until my breath reached my chin, until my soles were blistered.
Trembling like an aspen, I secured the door and burrowed into the firewood pile, tightly wrapping myself in blankets. Until then, nothing crossed my mind except the relief of “I’m alive, I’m alive!” It was a maddening moment, as if every piece of flesh in my arms and legs was writhing with its own life.
Kretzman. I have not yet killed anyone. Therefore, I do not know the feelings of a murderer. But I dare to imagine. I was afraid.
As the extreme tension gradually eased and my vision widened again, a thousand worries chased after me. I thought of the devil as if recalling a corpse I had killed and carelessly abandoned.
How mad was I to summon such a thing without fear? And why did it possess Johannes of all people! What would happen now? Would it come after me? But the slowly decaying night passed silently, uneventfully. Not a soul came to my room.
I thought again. If it remained collapsed, wouldn’t I have to clean up with my own hands? How? I didn’t know. No suitable means came to mind, and even if I knew, I had absolutely no confidence that I could do it.
Where would it go? Would it be discovered and killed? What if it attacked the household members who would visit Johannes’s bedroom tomorrow? What should I do? What should I do? No. More than that, what would happen to poor Johannes? No! Was that thing even Johannes?
If it was Johannes, how would he feel now? Would he know it was my fault? How could I be such a wretched human being to abandon all responsibility and run away! Ah, I. This guilt pouring out like water from a broken jar. And this heart that spews it out like a horn of plenty, how should I embrace and live with it?
Such thoughts cannot be called conscience. I dare not call them that. The devil had not chased me up until then. It would still be lying there as I had seen it earlier, no need to check.
As noisy time passed alone amidst the silence all around, unable to bear the weight pressing on my innards, I jumped up from the pile and paced the entire room. My head, shoulders, and toes were all heavy. Even the hot air in the room entangled me like iron chains.
In my anxiety, such a thought occurred to me. If I summoned it, couldn’t I also send it away? Even if I couldn’t send it away, shouldn’t I somehow put it back? Therefore, I had to go. Eventually, I headed back to Johannes’s room.
I trembled for a long time in front of the door.
I had to compose myself several times, pressing down on my chest to stop myself from running away immediately. Barely raising my hand that couldn’t stay still for a moment like a wind-blown reed, I opened Johannes’s bedroom door just a crack and peered inside. A faint light split the room.
The devil was still in its black mass-like form. It no longer moved. It only twitched its monstrous eyes up to look at me. Startled by just that, I slammed the door shut. Hesitating again for several minutes.
When I finally managed to open the door and look, it was still just watching me.
Our frozen gazes intertwined, confirming each other. It was strange. The devil’s eyes had a light that was difficult to describe.
With an air of having discovered an unfamiliar creature never seen before, quite innocently. Even its short, choppy breaths were like those of an infant that would nod its head if coaxed. I soon realized that it was in the process of slowly scanning and examining my face.
It was such an insignificant movement that I didn’t notice at first. But when I blinked a few times, focusing on my eyelids with a strange feeling, the devil also closed and opened its eyes.
I was perplexed by this response. Only then did I realize, seeing those pupils that were hidden and revealed repeatedly, matching the timing of my blinking, those pupils wide open under my shadow to absorb the light.
The devil was imitating me.
How could it look so harmless? I thought that as I looked into the devil’s eyes. Ah, so this might be an unexpectedly innocent beast, it might not harm me, when I thought that, I felt like I would die from breathlessness.
Stay calm, stay calm. Soothing the tightening tension, I carefully stepped inside. The devil just lay there watching me, without even a groan. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to approach closely.
Standing pressed against the doorway, I lit a fire with the quartz I had brought. The interior, now equipped with lighting, barely brightened, and I could observe the devil’s appearance in detail.
Should I say it truly looked devilish?
The skin, which I had thought was just black as if dipped in ink, was overall a bluish lead color. It had Johannes’s face and upper body, but unlike Johannes, its head was black, and huge horns curved downward like a sheep’s on both sides of its forehead.
It had only one wing. The one that tore through its right shoulder blade seemed long enough to touch the ground even if fully spread. While nothing in its appearance was not hideous, in fact, the most difficult part to look at was the lower body, clearly different from a human’s.
The thighbone extended forward at a near right angle. Instead, from below the knee, the shin was greatly curved inward, and thick claws sprouted from the heel, making it look somewhat like the foot of a bird of prey.
I stood feeling chills for a while in front of it, which was barely covered by rags so torn they could hardly be called clothes. As I was shuddering at the appearance that mixed human and all sorts of beasts.
Crash! Something shattered in the inner room. I startled and stared in the direction of the sound.
Fortunately, it was the devil’s doing. It seemed that some distant fragments had collided due to its occasionally swinging its whip-like tail. Its innocent eyes were briefly covered by an opaque membrane and then revealed again, as if startled by its own action. That sight was a bit exasperating, and much of my fear dissipated.
Having regained my composure, I first attempted conversation. I had many questions.
“Why did you come?”
“……”
“Did you come because I called you?”
“……”
“What do you want?”
“……”
“Are you going to harm me?”
“……”
“Why are you just lying there like that?”
“……”
“What are you going to do now?”
“……”
And most importantly.
“Who exactly are you?”
Such questions.
No answer came. Only occasional low groans burst out. I guessed that it had lost the ability to speak, or perhaps never knew language at all.
Well, it’s not even human, so how could it know speech? So at that point, I had already separated the devil from Johannes. I just felt relieved. That it wasn’t roaring was fortunate enough, I certainly would not have been able to stand properly with my knees trembling.
Giving up on communication, I decided to move the devil somewhere. Whether it returned to being Johannes or not, it seemed I needed to hide it for a while at least. Looking down at the devil, I said:
“Let’s escape.”
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
_____
Please help me, I want to bring you the best possible things.
If you find any chapter or novel with poor translation and editing quality, let me know by commenting directly under that novel or chapter. I will retranslate it as soon as possible.
[Touch the gear icon in the bottom right corner of the screen to move to the next chapter if you want.]
