#24
That night. It was the night when a marriage proposal came for elder sister, and at the same time, all the siblings gathered at the fortress after several months. And from that night, something changed.
An ominous aura flowed through the fortress. As if a demon crawling out of hell was wandering nearby dragging iron chains, the whole fortress seemed to be wrapped in that chain sound. Elder brother’s seizure was exactly like that, and now in fact….
I think it definitely wasn’t a seizure or anything like that.
When I first witnessed elder brother’s seizure that I had only heard about, I was shocked to the point of feeling chilled inside. Surely it couldn’t be because of ‘that’. My stomach felt hot as if a broad blade had been thrust sideways into it.
Elder brother’s behavior, filled with madness and even inducing fear, was secondary. Whether it was a seizure or whatever, regardless of the cause, Winfrid was most surprised by the fact that none other than elder brother Johannes had ‘revealed’ himself so primitively.
Although he covered it up with absurd packaging like performing an exorcism, it wasn’t an idle remark when he muttered the next day that it didn’t seem like an ordinary seizure. In reality, it was a wish spoken aloud. It was close to Winfrid’s own wishful thinking. And now the boy can declare.
Indeed, it’s not a seizure.
It’s clearly because of that.
Phew, Winfrid felt a sinful shudder rising up his back again.
It was surely a sinful matter for elder brother. Although they say noble families are always in turmoil over inheritance issues between fathers and brothers, wasn’t a bloody family history unheard of in Gustavus?
So there were circumstances like this.
First, Valdemar had no illegitimate children to cause unnecessary strife. Was there a problem with father’s lower body function? Apologies to father, but sometimes such doubts even arose.
Winfrid had witnessed the duke’s infidelity dozens of times already, and someone somewhere was said to need to borrow others’ hands to count their illegitimate sons and daughters as ten fingers weren’t enough, so it couldn’t help but be strange.
Could he be using contraception? Why? And how on earth? Was pig intestine that useful? Hmm, that was a personally curious point too. Anyway.
Secondly, the brotherhood between the two brothers was strong. Rather than saying they were close to each other, it would be more accurate to say that Winfrid unilaterally followed Johannes. The second son’s exceptional respect for the eldest son was known to everyone in the domain, so that says it all.
He knew well how devoted he must seem to others, but it couldn’t be helped.
No. How could one not respect him?
As for Winfrid himself, it wasn’t just because of his frail body that he chose the path of a monk, refusing the glorious chivalry. It was largely to pursue forbidden pleasures in a situation where asceticism was forced.
Isn’t a line most meaningful when it’s drawn, and most thrilling when it’s crossed? His relationship with Griselda was in the same context.
Why hide it?
Griselda was quite an unsightly woman. A woman neither young nor old, but certainly not youthful. A woman who knew nothing of the joys between men and women, stiff as an old tree, without charm, and who had even nursed the three Valdemar brothers with her own milk.
A surrogate mother.
But how strange. That point was attractive. She was touching on his desire to break what shouldn’t be broken, to burn what shouldn’t be burned. Don’t do this, he had been secretly and steadily ravishing the pale-faced woman. That’s the kind of hedonist he was.
One that had gone completely astray.
In contrast, his elder brother was a man with asceticism ingrained in his body.
Shall we hear an anecdote? In the early stages of the Valdemar-Milo war. There was a time when they achieved a great victory under elder brother’s command. It’s already been 2 years, so elder brother was 18 years old at the time.
At an age when one should be full of vigor, and especially on such a day, one might have been expected to be elated at least once, but that stubborn elder brother didn’t even take a sip of victory wine at that grand banquet, saying he disliked losing his senses.
It’s not like he usually enjoyed women (it’s an irreverent guess, but at that age, could he still be a virgin?), or filled his stomach with gourmet food, or collected luxury items. With that upright nature, did he even sleep properly? Wouldn’t he perhaps lie down in a motionless posture?
Although they were two people standing at completely opposite extremes like that, he believed that their innate essence was rather closer to each other than anyone else. Like a belt with its ends connected.
Winfrid thought arbitrarily. That inside that elder brother, there must be an unbearable flame not entirely absent. That every day must be no different from a struggle with longings that were like enemy soldiers. That there must be something black boiling wildly.
Heat persistently suppressed.
In the meantime, elder brother, who looked so gentle as to seem like a soft breeze, neatly storing away the inferno inside him, wasn’t he in fact just like a pious sword? The depth was different, the size was different. A tree Winfrid himself could never climb. Sometimes he seemed like a giant. Given these circumstances, how could one not respect him? But then, one day, he saw it.
The dagger.
Cough, cough, cough!
Sudden dry coughs came in succession. Winfrid’s body bent forward deeply with each cough sound.
“Damn it….”
Winfrid, after cursing briefly, caught his breath. His pathologically weak body that couldn’t even properly take in familiar smoke was no longer so vexing. With difficulty, after forcibly taking in the last puff, he asked.
“Has elder brother ever looked for elder sister?”
“…No.”
“Has he visited the women’s quarters?”
“How could such a busy person come to the women’s quarters…?”
“What about elder sister?”
“Are you asking if the young lady has visited the young lord?”
“Yeah.”
“…Once, a few days ago.”
“For what reason?”
Griselda, who had been silent for a moment, slowly answered.
“That, I’m not sure….”
“Then keep a close watch from now on.”
“On what?”
“The two of them.”
“Why…?”
“Don’t ask why. If you see any suspicious signs, let me know.”
“……”
No proper answer came back. Winfrid clicked his tongue audibly and then tapped out his pipe on the floor. As he got down from the bed and tried to put on his clothes, Griselda, who had quietly stood up, started sweeping. With darkness riding on her back like her own child, she bent her waist and asked Winfrid.
“When, are you leaving?”
“I’ll leave when I want.”
“……”
“It’s late at night, shouldn’t you be sleeping by now? Why do you keep moving? Just lie down at least. It’s uncomfortable for people watching.”
“……”
“What are you doing?”
“…Yes, yes.”
Griselda stopped sweeping and lay down. This time, Winfrid turned the chair, sat down and rested his chin. He was irritated by the woman who lay stiffly in front of him, unable to move, like dried fish.
When he was in the same space with her, the woman had never not been anxious for even a moment. Is anxiety enough? Indeed, it’s an unspeakable terror.
In fact, he had been thinking of giving her a ring when the opportunity arose, but it didn’t seem likely to go well now since it started off badly. It didn’t matter. How could a woman with no husband to protect her body and nowhere else to go refuse this body? Such was his cruel mind.
When he watches this woman, would his expression be like elder brother’s when staring at the dagger? He suddenly became curious.
When was that again?
It was already 2 years ago when he witnessed elder brother with the dagger, on a day when the north wind was like a blade.
Winfrid visited elder brother’s bedroom early in the morning to encourage him before his first deployment, and also to see his face in case he might die in battle anytime soon. Right before breakfast, at a time when all the servants would have gathered in the hall, elder brother probably didn’t think anyone would visit him at such a time.
And so Winfrid was able to see it. The expression of Johannes as he sat leaning on a chair, placing a dagger on the table and staring at it blankly.
Elder brother’s brow was so neat, he didn’t wrinkle it at all. Only the upper part of his face, lit from below, was completely shaded. The emptiness was fiercely cold enough to make the warmth of the fireplace filling the inner room seem meaningless, as if it would cut through even the space. That empty darkness, rather hatred.
A woman.
That is clearly a woman. Could it be that elder brother was rejected somewhere? Did he get a rival in love? Although it was a dagger that could be commonly seen anywhere, strangely, only the thought of ‘woman’ came to mind.
Winfrid himself knew that it was an excessive conjecture based on just one complexion. He knew it well. No, still, that must be a woman’s item anyway. How else? What. How could.
Such hatred like terrible longing.
It was an uncharacteristically sentimental impression, but there was no other way to express it. He stepped back without even closing the door he had opened. He left the place as if fleeing, although there was no one chasing him.
His heart seemed to freeze completely at elder brother’s expression that he had never seen before in his life. It felt like he had terribly discovered evidence of the speculation he had kept to himself until then. The dagger had cut elder brother’s stomach, and he had inadvertently looked inside through that gap.
Winfrid didn’t visit that room again for a while. The fear of having seen something he shouldn’t have seen. Because of such creepiness. In the end, it was an impression that would be forgotten as time passed.
In the place where melted fear remained like salt, curiosity began to grow.
What could be there? What more could be inside that neat leather? Isn’t there a huge spark lurking that someone like me couldn’t even come close to? Someday, just once, won’t that great elder brother also be engulfed in the flames of desire, won’t he burn like myself! Damn it! How is there no way to reveal more? No way to nurture it further? Just watching is already this intense….
Ah, what would it be like if that disappeared!
He was curious and thrilled beyond endurance to see elder brother in ruins. He wanted to watch the fire like crazy. And so Winfrid decided to commit arson. He carried a bone-dry flint in his heart. The anxious wait was too long.
And on that very day in question.
Perhaps opportunities come to those who wait patiently. When Winfrid, who had been chased out of the monastery in the middle of the night and could only arrive at the fortress at dawn, visited elder brother’s bedroom to pay his respects. Unfortunately, elder brother was absent.
His excited heart, which had swollen with excessive expectations, left no room for hesitation in his next action. Winfrid quickly searched elder brother’s inner room, and soon found the dagger he had seen before in a box hidden deep in a drawer.
Leaving only wicked sparks in the empty box, Winfrid left the room. This was the background for why Winfrid was half in doubt about the news of elder brother’s seizure that night. And….
He met the owner of the dagger in a completely unexpected place.
The Male lead Always Seduces Her with His Beauty (Matriarchy)
Xin Jiao Zhou is the leader of the world’s premier sect. She has just experienced betrayal from all sides, was poisoned in an assassination attempt, and faced death squad attacks while the poison was taking effect. After finally clearing out the scum from her sect, she was drugged again while trying to detoxify.
After waking up from a night of unconsciousness, she gained a “beautiful and kind-hearted” husband.
Xin Jiao Zhou: “???”
He fell ill.
She came to see him, bringing breakfast.
As she put down the breakfast and was about to leave, his hand slipped while holding the spoon. “Clank!”
She turned around upon hearing the noise.
He looked up at her, his eyebrows drooping: “My hand… has no strength.”
“Shall I… feed you?” she asked tentatively.
He opened his mouth cheerfully: “Ah—”
Thinking she was drowning, he jumped in without hesitation to save her, but nearly drowned himself. In the end, it was she who swam over to rescue him, giving him air underwater.
After emerging from the water, his ear tips turned red. He lightly brushed his cheek, tucking his sideburns behind his ear, revealing delicate, pink-tinged ear tips. He lowered his gaze, too embarrassed to look at her.
Xin Jiao Zhou: He’s truly beautiful, kind-hearted, and adorable.
A certain someone when disciplining subordinates behind the scenes: “If they don’t obey, just kill them.”
What’s that? She might already have someone she cares about in her heart? A certain someone: Find out who it is, kill them, and then there won’t be anyone.
What? She met a man by the riverside? What? That man even hurt her? A certain someone: Whichever hand hurt her, chop off his entire arm.
Love at first sight without realizing it, gradually falling in love, slowly getting closer…
Family and national grudges, schemes and desires, good and evil, crime and punishment, she and he face the future together, seeking justice with passion!
A naturally dark female lead who could accidentally destroy the world but is actually an honest person VS a weak, pitiful, and helpless but skilled fighter, beautiful white-cut black male lead
My heart is not of stone, how steadfast is your love? — Tao Yuanming “Imitating the Ancients (No. 3)”
— Reading Guide —
Cold female lead & dramatic black lotus with hidden yandere traits male lead
