197.
With a short scream, Inette lowered her head deeply and hunched her shoulders. Even in the midst of this, she stubbornly refused to let go of Johannes’ collar. Far from letting go, she pulled it down towards herself, raising blue veins on the back of her pale hand. Oh dear.
Having already lost his balance, there was no way to stop it. Johannes’ head tilted back once like the recoil of his pulled collar. Naturally, it came back like a wave and plunged forward. It barely stopped just before his nose could hit the back of Inette’s head. It was truly a hair’s breadth away.
At that moment, the two Johannes, above and below, saw a bright red light as if sharing one eye. That light. That light filling his view was Inette’s hair. The red twilight air settled on the platinum color like some flash at the moment of death. In an instant, cold sweat beaded on ‘Johannes” spine. Though his mouth was tightly shut, the sound of his ragged breathing under his wide-open eyes was indescribably rough.
Hey, Giovinetta. I just nearly smashed your head.
This was by no means a joke. With another woman it might be different. But this woman who recklessly grabbed his collar, his longtime lover, had an air about her as if she could drown in a saucer of water. What if she gets hurt? What if she’s already hurt? Unless it was a time to find twisted excitement, her constantly staggering with a dispirited gaze made the viewer’s heart precarious and anxious first. This time too, Johannes alone was frozen still, unable to say a word, seemingly quite shocked.
“…Go in.”
Before he could gather his wits.
Inette, her nose buried in Johannes’ chest, muttered quietly. Her voice was muffled, her throat tightly constricted from swallowing tears. Johannes looked down at her without being able to answer.
“Go… in… ro… I said go inside.”
“What’s… this about…”
“Go in.”
“……”
“Don’t argue. Go, in…!”
Her light weight pressed against his chest. Between her two hands gripping his collar, Inette’s eyes were rising up. That blue cutting through the red night had a strangely unfocused gaze. For a moment, Johannes swallowed dryly.
Eyes like someone who had swallowed a handful of opium. The dilated pupils were aimed right at his brow, but no matter how you looked, they weren’t quite right. Johannes slowly realized that even her paper-thin shoulders had been trembling for some time now. The convulsions of her body seemed to transfer to his upper body through their touching skin. At that fiercely maddening momentum, he lost his grip on the doorframe with a thud.
“Haa, uh…”
Seizing the opportunity, Inette pushed against his body as she entered and kicked the door shut behind her. Johannes only realized the entrance was blocked after hearing the thud. He was trapped in the bedroom, crimson with twilight, with his small beast fiercely frightened. Even then, he couldn’t tear his gaze from Inette’s eyes as she wrapped around his waist. Inette’s gasping fingertips, though trembling, sought out his hand. She pulled his hand up to her chin. And then, with a plop, she spat out:
“Slap… my cheek.”
Johannes’ heart sank with a thud. Even his gaze, which had been frozen in bewilderment, suddenly softened. He stared like a fool at the sight of her delicate face, pale amidst the redness, trembling as she gazed at him.
“You’re… angry, aren’t you? You’re, you’re going to leave me, right? You’re going to abandon…”
“Gio… no…”
“Slap me. Slap me and, let it out.”
“Giovinetta.”
“You have a lot pent up against me, don’t you? Hm? Isn’t that right? I know. I know. So go ahead and slap me. You want to slap me, don’t you? Please, hurry and do it. Hurry. Ah…! What are you hesitating for…?”
Inette’s hands gripped Johannes’ collar as if strangling him. Johannes was at a loss for words.
“If you won’t do it, I’ll make the first move…!”
Tears of fear burst forth from her reddened eyes. At last, she began to strangle him. With a choked sound, Johannes grasped her hands. Though her strength could barely break a hummingbird’s neck and there was no cause for concern, the problem was that he couldn’t pry her off without using force himself. She would get hurt. What to do? Completely flustered, he somehow managed to step back. One step. Two steps. Then something caught the back of his knees and he fell backwards. Only after the back of his head hit the edge of the backrest did he realize. It was an armchair. In this desperate situation, he couldn’t even feel the pain, just dizziness. Inette, who had collapsed on top of Johannes, quickly sat up straddling his stomach, gasping. Her hands, pressing down on his Adam’s apple with all her might, were trembling like aspen leaves. Large tears falling from the tip of her chin were thoroughly wetting Johannes’ neck.
“I’m sorry. Ah, I. I’m sorry. Johannes. So please slap me. Johannes. Please…”
Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go. Please don’t leave me. She shuddered violently.
“Rather than, see your back, I’d kill you. Rather than see… your back. I’d kill you with these hands… Ah, I…”
“Gio…”
“Aren’t you… furious? You must be furious to death? A cripple who can’t do anything without a corpse. A madwoman who’s not even human when she loses her mind. Tormenting you, and. Just playing around. Constantly stabbing a living body with a dagger, how loathsome and lamentable is that. Isn’t it?”
“……”
“Slap, me. Slap me. Hm? Please. Please.”
“……”
“If you care for me, please…”
Her face, delicate like a brush stroke, cries like a child born to sorrow. Wet eyes, nose tip. A face thoroughly worn with grief. Amidst such endless tears, she smiled briefly as if it were a silly joke, as if seeking his agreement. Ah. It was then that Johannes realized what she truly desired.
You.
Just how childish a woman are you?
Johannes grasped her wrists. You want me to show you the face of mercy. He gripped her wrists as if he would crush them completely. I know. I’ve always known. There isn’t a shred of remorse towards me in your heart. Not knowing your sin, you hardly know guilt either. It’s just a ploy to try and deflect the anxiety that rises up on its own. It’s the cunning to instinctively know how to quench it and act before speaking. Even her innately pitiful appearance made her performance seem all the more plausible, making him even more wretched. Inette, who had looked startled for a moment, perhaps from the pain in her wrists, gently opened her eyes. Her moist lips alighted on his cheek like a feather. I love you… I love you… Her neat nails dug into Johannes’ wet skin. Inette.
And yet you are delicious enough to kill me.
The reality was that tragic. Johannes, to tell the truth, was trembling all over. ‘This child’ is ‘always’ like this. Even experiencing it constantly, there was never time to get used to it. The accidents he endured, caught up in her grasp, always gave him the feeling of falling off a horse together. Without time to do anything, like some disaster. This child walks on glass-strewn ground as she falls. In that state, she desires him.
And so, as if entangled in vines, Johannes was bitten alive by some premonition. Devoured. That something was happening, that it would be more sorrowful and fierce than ever before, it was like some longing or expectation. Ah. Yes. It’s certainly expectation. The anticipation of finally having his heart, ruined beyond repair, butchered, gripped his entire body so that he couldn’t even move. It’s today. It’s this red night. At last. Inette.
You…
“What false rumors tormented you this time… to make you do such a thing.”
In that dream.
Johannes’ eyes flew open.
“It must have been so painful that you couldn’t even confide in me.”
‘He’ who had removed ‘her’ hands slowly raised his body and asked ‘her’. Taking advantage of the moment his blocked airways finally cleared, he took several deep breaths and quietly gazed at her. What he saw was perfectly visible to Johannes as well. Her face, bewildered and then despairing, widened her already large eyes like lanterns.
“Tell me. What happened?”
“……”
“Giovinetta.”
“……”
Giovinetta’s gaze shifted slightly outward. Her chin and neck followed her gaze in turn like a broken wooden puppet. Her gaze fixed on the empty air, and she froze completely. As if she had never been here for even a moment. Her presence was entirely colorless and odorless.
Only her hand.
The tips of her fingers, hanging limply on her lover’s arm as he cradled her lower back to create a more stable position on his stomach. Only that twitched. Twitched. Convulsing spasmodically as if it alone were alive. With her gaze still fixed in the distance, she lost her words like an object. The hand attached to her expressionless body rose up, then struck her own thigh with a thud. If no one stopped her, she would surely hit her thigh a hundred or thousand times like a machine until it was completely crushed. Idris grabbed her hand.
“I’m not unaware of… what you want from me.”
“……”
“I’m sorry I can’t give it to you.”
“……”
“I’m sorry.”
“……”
Johannes thought Giovinetta’s corneas had shattered. There were only traces of tears she had shed plenty of moments before, but now the look in her eyes was like the waves of the Arctic. Despite being so blue and ruptured, she never looked back at Idris. Only her hand, held by him, trembled longer and thinner than before. With a twitch, at some point those fingertips curled and grasped Idris’ hand. Only that strength was as desperate as a nursing infant.
“Why can’t you give it to me?”
“Because there would be no end to it.”
“If you wanted, I would give you anything.”
“This is how I love you.”
“While not even knowing what love is.”
“We’re well-matched then, two people who don’t know love.”
“I guess you hate me less.”
“That’s not possible.”
Idris laughed softly. His gaze dropped a little lower. After a moment of silence, Giovinetta’s lips moved slightly.
“My period is gone.”
“……”
“It’s been several months already.”
“……”
“It’s your child.”
“……”
“What should we do?”
“……”
“I feel like a bug…”
“……”
Male lead is a Divorced Husband
She said to him: “Tell me, what makes you like me? I’ll change it!”
Liu Changning transmigrated into a female cannon fodder character in a female-dominant novel.
After reading the first half of the novel’s plot, the first thing she did upon transmigration was to divorce the Pan Jinlian-style male protagonist she had just married.
She indulged herself, pretending to be ugly and poor.
But as time passed, the way that man looked at her became more and more unusual…
Liu Changning was dumbfounded: Tell me, what makes you like me? I’ll change!
――
This lifetime, Pei Yuanshao was rejected by the same woman twice!
The first time, she drove him away. Forced by the situation, he endured the waves of anger in his heart, yielding and humbling himself.
That person lay slanted on a rocking chair, her sallow face emotionless: “If you don’t want a divorce, go cook!”
Pei Yuanshao’s face was dark and gloomy: “You!”
The second time, after the crisis in Jinling City was resolved, the new emperor sent someone to pick him up. He turned around, stammering: “I… I have to go. If you keep me…”
That person lay on the kang bed, her back to him, as if she had long anticipated this day, crisp and clear: “Goodbye!”
Pei Yuanshao was so angry his fingers trembled: “You… you!”
The mission of family and country made him restrain himself, averting his eyes and turning to leave this broken household.
Two years later, they met again. Seeing her ethereal face, his body shook like a sieve.
“She was originally a ‘she’!”
At the Qionglin Banquet, the top scholar of the imperial examination, a talented person with exceptional speech and conduct, all the unmarried young gentlemen from aristocratic families looked at her with shy and timid eyes.
The peerless imperial official Pei Yuanshao felt the anger in his heart erupt. He pointed at the woman surrounded by the crowd at the Qionglin Banquet, his thin lips slightly curled: “Little sister, I wants that person to be the wife-master of my Mingde Prince Manor.”
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