#17
“Young lady.”
“……”
“Young lady.”
“Mmm….”
“You should cough.”
The eyelids that had closed momentarily did not easily open again. I frowned as much as I could. I blinked several times. The needle-like rays of light coming through the open window stung my eyes. My whole body felt stiff and dizzy. As if fever had risen in my tired body, my insides churned and I even felt chilly.
For some reason, you slept fully in bed. If Griselda hadn’t asked that, I probably would have stayed lying down a bit longer. As if cold water had been poured on my head, I suddenly became wide awake.
I sat up abruptly with my heavy body, as if springing up.
“Um. Ah. Co… cold….”
My voice, not yet composed, came out cracked and broken. Surprised, Griselda quickly approached and felt my forehead and nape. My chest, secretly swollen with tension, heaved.
Johannes was gone.
Refusing Griselda’s touch here and there, like someone who had fallen into a strange place overnight, I looked around but Johannes was nowhere to be seen. There was not a single trace or speck of dust to serve as evidence anywhere. As if sinking thousands of fathoms into the earth, I felt like bursting into a pale cry.
Could it be that last night was all a vain dream? Was it all just my shameless delusion? What should I do? What should I do? Just as I was about to break into sobs, through Griselda’s armpit blocking my view, I caught a glimpse of the wardrobes lined up next to the mirror. I swallowed a hasty breath. Ah.
Even if I didn’t remember, it must have been Johannes who put me to bed after I had fallen asleep at some point. So I had to go somewhere first. Only when I went somewhere with Griselda and the guards standing in front of the women’s quarters could Johannes leave the room.
No. More than that, more than anything else, I wanted to confirm Johannes’ whereabouts with my own eyes. My heartstrings were completely dried up. It felt like my swollen stomach would burst. What excuse should I make? My head, not yet fully awake, just wouldn’t work properly.
“You really have a fever. My goodness…. How did you endure the night without medicine?”
“Is… that so? Just…. Somehow….”
Griselda’s voice was full of concern, but I couldn’t hear it clearly. My feverish mind was pitch black as if rubbed with ink. I have to send her away, I have to send her away. Because I had been flustered until then, I blurted out whatever came to mind.
“So I think I… need to go… to the chapel.”
“In this condition? After not going near there for years, what business do you suddenly have? Just lie down.”
“No. Um, I’m too, sick right now…. Yes. I’m really so sick, I need to go pray to get better quickly.”
“If that’s the case, I’ll call a priest….”
“No! Don’t do that!”
I waved my hands frantically. Even that small movement left me short of breath. I had to take a deep breath, letting my arms that were heavy like bundles drop straight down. Griselda’s eyebrows raised strangely.
“Pardon?”
“Yes, so…. Um, how can I… bring someone who serves God into the women’s quarters, it would be embarrassing….”
“…Pardon?”
“Just go and, let them know I’ll stop by. Yes…. There probably won’t be anyone to call at this hour….”
“……”
“…What are you doing? …Hurry?”
I urged her eagerly in my hidden heart. I twisted my trembling lips into a smile. I could tell from Griselda’s expression alone that the forced smile must have looked quite strange, but there was no helping it. I had been holding back the urge to lie right back down, pressing it down in my chest, and by that point I just wanted her to leave quickly, for whatever reason.
I’ll bring some medicine and be right back. Griselda, who had been staring at me strangely for a while, left the room very reluctantly. As soon as the door opened and closed, my chin that could no longer bear the weight of my head dropped down to my collarbone. But there was no time to delay. I didn’t want to delay either. The back of my neck jerked up.
I somehow managed to get up stumbling. Struggling for a long time as the blanket caught on my feet. The walk to the wardrobe after finally getting down was so far, so far. As if fatigue and fever accumulated for a long time were pouring down like hot mud over my shoulders, each step dug into the floor like a plow, scraping as I moved forward.
The door panel that I usually opened easily was so heavy. Pushing my trembling arm into the joint up to the handle, I barely managed to pull it open by throwing my upper body backwards. The chest opened with a sound heavy even to hear. The pile of colorful clothes hanging like a waterfall on the rod spanning the top caught my eye first. And between them.
Johannes was deeply buried.
It seemed there was nothing suitable for him to wear. He was half-naked, still only covering his waist with a thin blanket. The sudden sunlight must have hurt, as he raised his hand to cover above. He frowned for a moment. He blinked a couple times. And then he met my eyes.
His foggy focus settled on me, and his eye corners that had been frowning all over loosened and curved long like a thread. With Johannes so close in front of me, I just stood there blankly holding the edge of the wardrobe. His hair that had been clear even in the darkness now looked more beautiful than any light-touched cloth, making me dizzy.
Only my corneas stung for no reason.
“…You can’t bring a priest into the women’s quarters?”
As if unable to hold back, Johannes said without removing his smile. What could be so amusing? A mischievous smile all over his face as if he had brought his childhood self to this place.
“……”
“If not a priest, what other outside man would enter?”
“……”
“Hm?”
“……”
“Oh dear. You, from now on you shouldn’t carelessly fall ill. If you’re bedridden in your chambers, you won’t be able to go anywhere easily, so how will you get examined?”
“……”
“Hey hey.”
I tried to slam the wardrobe shut again. Johannes leaned his forearm on the inside to block it. I tried pushing with my whole body hanging on that edge, but my strength that wasn’t even a match for one of Johannes’ arms was utterly useless then too. Johannes just kept smiling as he easily held me back like that. That face that was only bright was not funny at all. I was really so annoyed I could die.
How afraid I was that you might have disappeared. How scared I was that I might be alone again. How anxious I was coming all the way here! Yet the one who made me so worried is just carefree like that by himself. My cheeks flushed steeply, feeling so hot I thought they would burn up completely. After wrestling like that for a long time with just one arm, pushing the front panel then the back panel.
“…I hate you.”
I spat out, panting.
“I really hate you.”
I shot back once more without even catching my breath and then turned my body away.
“Where are you going?”
Johannes’ hand that had quickly followed grabbed my arm. He skillfully pulled me right back in front of him. Scent. The damp smell of clothes that had been in the shade for a long time, Johannes’ body odor that I had smelled all night, such things mixed and rushed up to my nose in an instant.
When I raised my fist that still hadn’t cooled down and hit him around the chest, Johannes let out a short theatrical gasp, “Oof,” and smiled awkwardly.
“Didn’t you know how to open the door?”
“…I did.”
“Then what? I’m dying here and instead of helping, you’re joking around as soon as you see me. You could have at least let me close the door.”
“Don’t be angry. Seeing you struggling like that was like a puppy, cute and pretty so I wanted to watch a bit more…. I went too far.”
“You-! You’re treating me like an animal now!”
“Oh, I’m sorry. But isn’t that quite cute.”
Johannes smiled again. His upper body suddenly came out and soon his arms wrapped around me. Johannes supported my back, almost hugging me as he lifted me up and.
“Not…! Cute.”
I, who had briefly pulled away, shook my head as if I had no choice and ended up climbing into the wardrobe. The space was already cramped enough with just Johannes’ build. Our legs tangled densely. Cloth piles and his scent poured down like sand from all directions. In reality those things were no different from worthless grave goods in a tomb, the scent of mourning flowers thrown into a coffin.
That place was my tomb. Johannes was in my rotting tomb. Intact.
Tears welled up like dizziness.
“And you first.”
“……”
“If you don’t open it….”
As Johannes, who had swallowed his words once, hesitated and tried to say something, I wrapped my arms around his neck that I had barely regained. Without doing so, I felt like I would faint.
Only then did dizziness come over me uncontrollably, and I clung desperately, pushing my whole body into every empty space. Inhaling breath. Body tensing up tightly. In the end, I didn’t hear the rest of what he was saying. Rather, what returned anew was his astounding concern.
“You’re burning up.”
“It’s all… your fault.”
“It is my fault….”
“I’m in so much pain, and dizzy, and exhausted…. Exhausted, yes. Everything… hurts now. There’s no part that doesn’t hurt.”
“…I’m sorry. I should have put you to bed right away after all.”
I stroked the ends of Johannes’ hair. I murmured as I pleased against the nape where those ends touched.
“I was scared…. I thought only you had disappeared. That it might all have been a vain dream. So… I was so scared.”
“……”
“Don’t go.”
“……”
“Okay? Absolutely, absolutely don’t go.”
And then.
From beyond the curtain dividing the inner chamber, I heard a voice calling for me. It seemed Griselda had returned. At the small voice coming over saying “Young lady, young lady?”, I snapped to attention, my body tensing up. It was tension that made every hair stand on end. As I hurriedly wiped my eyes and was about to turn around.
“Jo-Johannes?”
Johannes closed the wardrobe, pressing his finger firmly on the inside of the door. Whether due to the difference in strength, the wardrobe that was properly closed with force did not even let out a small creak. The bright exterior. Only we two were immersed in darkness. Light that tore through the completely misaligned gap drew like a long scar on Johannes’ shoulder.
“Just a moment.”
He whispered quickly.
“……”
“Just a moment, stay here.”
It was chaotic beyond the door. Griselda went around the inner chamber calling my name several times. At some point my name that had come close soon receded again. Johannes’ cheek came to rest on my nape that was heaving with tension. I leaned my head against his chest.
Johannes’ movements were somehow animalistic. Like any beasts rubbing their heads and necks together in communion, he slowly rubbed his face pressed against mine as if burrowing in. My skin was already hot from the fever. Along the line made even hotter by his friction, slowly kissing up from the edge of my shoulder, Johannes said softly:
“…I won’t go.”
Even in the midst of that, his lips clung desperately without separating. Rather, only the arms binding me grew stronger. I still can’t forget the touch of his hand stroking my back as if coaxing and soothing me.
Why She Is Still Unmoved (Female-dominant)
One-line summary: He uses various methods to seek her affection, but she remains unmoved.
Synopsis:
Si Qingyu is a doctor who has saved countless lives and enjoys tranquility.
Luo Shaoxuan is ruthless, deeply scheming, and the top young master in the capital. He admires Si Qingyu.
Luo Shaoxuan: I want to be the only one in your eyes and heart.
Features a cold and calm female lead vs A noble and scheming male lead.
There will be both sweetness and torture towards the male after their marriage.
