163.

Inette’s face was that of someone who had been uprooted. Her lowered eyelids and unfocused pupils showed no sign of life.

Johannes felt a momentary pang of sympathy as he stood with his back to the door, staring at Inette who was standing motionless. His guess that she had been shocked by the events of the day seemed natural at first glance. Johannes pulled her hand and comforted her.

“You look very startled. Understandable. Its fangs were like daggers and its body was comparable to my riding horse. It was big, big, I’d heard about it a few times but I thought it was just a large cat. To think it was that size…”

Did she get scratched from falling backwards? The shallow cut on Inette’s hand was rubbing against his palm. Johannes interlocked his fingers with Inette’s and pulled her hand to his lips.

Inette’s shoulder swayed lightly before clinging to his. Johannes kissed the back of Inette’s hand cupped in both of his, then pressed his forehead against it as if giving thanks to heaven, only shifting his deeply lowered gaze sideways to stare at Inette.

“That you’re… safe. How fortunate.”

His voice, softly exhaled from within, sounded just like a sigh he had deeply buried all day. While not minding the wound on his own arm at all, he whispered as if unconsciously asking to be embraced right away, like someone more gravely injured. He looks at his sister with eyes holding back thirst.

But Inette remained silent.

She stiffened her mouth like a wooden carving. She didn’t properly meet the gaze of her brother who was desperately seeking her comfort. She only fluttered her even paler eyelids and lowered them further. Meanwhile, her cheeks that had lost color took on an inexplicable flush.

The face of a young girl.

Why is she acting so uncharacteristically shy?

That was what Johannes initially found strange when he witnessed her unusual reaction. Is she unable to follow the topic? Suddenly something occurred to him and he lifted his forehead from the back of Inette’s hand. Gently looking down at her face pressed against his ear, he spoke soothingly.

“That beast from earlier, they call it a black leopard. Father brought it back during the last hunting season, I hear.”

“…I know.”

“You know?”

“I said I know. I’m not… completely ignorant of matters outside the women’s quarters.”

Embarrassingly, the response he received was sudden anger. Inette wasn’t extremely agitated. But her tone was somewhat quick and high.

When the surprised Johannes unconsciously opened his eyes wide and parted his lips, Inette’s cheeks and forehead turned bright red. She opened her mouth slightly and glanced at Johannes before instantly lowering her gaze. Johannes’ bewildered blue eyes followed. They persistently fixed on the bridge of her nose. Inette touched one side of her sideburns a few times and spoke again in a noticeably awkward tone.

“…I’ve seen it wandering around the well at night a few times. I’ve also seen it treading softly on the grass where we often played as children. It’s clearly visible from the window of the women’s quarters. When I saw it from afar… even though it was dangerous, it looked so beautiful that I was completely entranced…”

Soon after, she gently turned away her flushed face. It was up to Johannes, who had recovered from his surprise, to smoothly continue the scattered conversation. Johannes spoke in a calm manner with a hushed voice.

“You have sharper eyes than me. I had no idea such a beast was freely roaming inside the fortress. It’s strange. I haven’t seen even a hair of that big creature in the past year. That thing…”

Suddenly he swallowed his words mid-sentence.

“It seems to have been avoiding me.”

It was certainly an odd thing. The wound that hadn’t healed yet stung anew. Johannes was quite relieved by this normal pain. He had watched the process of tightly bandaging and stopping the bleeding earlier that day with an almost excited feeling, so there was no need to say more.

“Perhaps you saw it too but don’t remember?”

Inette asked quietly, still unable to meet his eyes.

“How could I forget something so threatening.”

“Maybe.”

Her voice trailed off at the end for some reason. She muttered while dropping her gaze outwards.

“Don’t people fail to see things outside their interest even when looking at them?”

She seemed somewhat desolate, as if giving up on something.

Around then, Inette’s hand left Johannes’. It didn’t go far. She simply turned to face Johannes directly. Lowering her waist, she grasped both his wrists. She quietly yet suddenly gazed intensely at her brother’s eyes, which had grown much taller than her, like someone who had just made a firm decision. At that moment, Johannes unknowingly closed his mouth. The reason was that he felt as if he had seen some kind of ominous flame. It was strange.

Why? He suddenly had a feeling that she was about to do something to him.

He saw the flame in Inette’s pupils becoming moist. All his attention was captured by it. His heart ached strangely, and he forgot to speak. He only sensed the flame rising to the top of his head with his heart pounding, captured by Inette’s gaze. The blue fire was spreading from his wrists held by Inette. Eventually his mouth became hot and dry. It burned fiercely.

“Pay attention to me, Johannes.”

Inette parted her lips. Johannes’ gaze, startled by her voice, habitually sought Inette’s tongue.

“…How could I pay more attention?”

He answered, panting slightly. He tried to be careful not to be caught, but it was a futile effort. The small piece of flesh swimming flexibly in his sister’s mouth always constricted his chest unreasonably.

“I don’t know. Find a way to do more.”

“…”

“Love me more. Say you can’t live without me. Say you want to die. With that kind of feeling…”

Inette closed her lips tightly for a moment, whether knowing or not knowing his entranced gaze. Soon she hugged the outside of his arm, pulling it close to her chest as if embracing it. Panting slightly like him, Inette seemed poised to grab his entire heart with just her gaze. Johannes seemed like a person whose nose was tied to her gaze. He met her eyes, as if inevitably drawn down.

“Look at me.”

Her eyes, voice, everything was drenched with moisture.

“Look at me.”

Having captured Johannes, she soon looked like she would die of thirst. She clings on as if trying to grasp her share of water by any means, to the point of losing color. He felt a painful strength from her small hands digging into his back. It was only natural that Johannes felt like he was dying from her vain and sorrowful gestures. In the end, without realizing it…

He leaned his upper body forward.

Startled by the sudden movement, Inette’s hair stood on end as she took a step back. He couldn’t stop. He approached like an inevitable wave, and was pushed back like sand following the natural order. Inette didn’t seem to realize she was stepping backwards. Her wide open gaze was completely captured by his eyes. Until she was stopped by the wall.

Gently, the strength left Inette’s grip. Quietly, Johannes’ hand pressed against the wall next to Inette’s shoulder. Johannes let out a short, trembling sigh.

“There hasn’t been a single day I haven’t looked at you.”

“…”

“There hasn’t been a moment I haven’t yearned for you.”

“…”

“How… could any sane person… not look at you?”

“…”

“I can’t even imagine it.”

“…”

It was a confession.

It was a passionate statement that left no room for other interpretations.

It’s impossible to misunderstand this heat that seems like it would burn and consume even himself, burn the remaining ashes again and again until no trace is left. His entire throat was hot.

He waits anxiously for an answer. Gradually, Inette’s back slid down the wall, and Johannes naturally knelt to match that speed. The sight of Inette’s eyes curving long like a river within his arms pinned to the wall like bars seemed like the answer he had been longing for.

Yes.

I too am the same as you.

Johannes, who had been holding his breath without realizing it, let out a long exhale like an exclamation. Even then, afraid he might miss it, he quickly cupped Inette’s face with both hands. His lips aimlessly brushed against her cheeks without purpose. The affirmation he had finally received pierced his heart.

It couldn’t even be called a kiss, this thing that wandered all over her thin skin. Like a starving young beast, he tried to lick up every smile of hers and take it into his mouth, his eyes. Don’t worry about anything. I cannot change even if I wanted to, so just stay in this place like today. Please.

“What a bothersome thing you’re doing.”

Inette laughed with a dispirited look and pushed his face away as if waving him off. Johannes buried his lips even in that outstretched palm while breathing heavily. His animal-like actions didn’t seem entirely unpleasant to Inette either. Now Johannes leaned his upper body forward, half covering her.

“…I want to kiss you.”

He whispered urgently, pushing his face buried in Inette’s palm. If he could, he seemed ready to pierce through her palm and plant his lips on hers right away. Moreover… his fingertips that ended up trailing down as if feeling her waist touched the sensation of hard metal. That clear sensation through the thin cotton, it was a chastity belt.

I can break it.

Without any particular basis, he knew. It would be no more difficult than twisting a child’s wrist. He sensed that he could easily shatter this flimsy barrier at any time. He intuited this even in that panting moment. He would only wait for a better opportunity with his drought-stricken heart, just to ensure Inette wouldn’t be hurt in the process.

He could endure it terrifyingly well.

“Why, why?”

Inette, with her head pressed tightly against the wall, barely managed to ask. In fact, she had been opening and closing her lips saying “ugh, eck” for a while before finally asking properly. While blocking Johannes’ lips pressing forward with her palm, she shook her head and twisted her upper body blocked by the wall this way and that, completely distracted. Johannes buried his nose in the nape of her neck as if finding a gap and let out a breathless voice.

“Why, you ask…? When you first sucked and bit inside my mouth, you didn’t ask such questions. Today… why are you questioning so much?”

“Huh…? Huh?”

It was as if a fire had spread. The neck desperately blocking Johannes suddenly turned bright red. Even the platinum down stood on end. The shape was clear even in the darkness of the night, making Johannes laugh despite his impatience. Soon he rubbed the tip of his nose against Inette’s shoulder, chiding her jokingly.

“What’s with that reaction? How disappointing…. Could it be you don’t remember because you were too young? The cause of us becoming like this, I don’t think… you could have forgotten.”

Inette was stiff, flushed from her forehead to her wrists. It was some time later when Johannes suddenly felt puzzled but couldn’t erase the laughter in his voice as he raised his gaze.