153.
Johannes’ head tilted slightly to the left. Could one breathe properly in that state? With both hands raised as if washing his face, he pressed the edge of the pillow more firmly over his face, his shoulders trembling finely. To Giovinetta, he looked like a person trying to die in that posture.
What… hey.
This is.
It was then that Johannes’ expression, which had been faintly smiling through the darkly tangled thoughts, suddenly became emotionless. He had taken off the mask with long tails drawn at the corners of his eyes at that moment. His delicately handsome face was completely flat, as if observing objects. However, that coldly expressionless face was rather the result of an inexplicable discomfort that made his stomach sink. He was, well… displeased.
“Giovinetta.”
“……”
“Giovinetta.”
“……”
“Remove that.”
But the hands pressing the pillow didn’t move at all. Johannes waited for a moment. The silence filled with only the sound of rain filled the bedroom. Finally, Johannes reached out first, grasped the edge of the pillow, and pulled it down to his side, half throwing it.
Giovinetta briefly resisted by pushing his hand away with one hand, but it was useless. Ah…! Her white face was finally revealed with a faint exclamation. Johannes saw the still pouring black rain instantly wet her forehead and cheeks. But… oh my. He raised one eyebrow.
Giovinetta was crying.
No, she was swallowing her sobs.
Her entire eye area, which was glaring at him as if to say what an inappropriate thing this was, was completely distorted, filled with a mix of emotions that had welled up at some point. She immediately raised both fists to press hard against her wet eyes.
Her pale lips under her fists were tightly closed as if biting the inside flesh, and her delicate jawline trembled finely at that force. Giovinetta turned her head away just like that. She was turning away from him. As if to say, don’t look at me at a time like this.
“…In truth, I resented you more than anyone else.”
“……”
“Such times were more frequent for me….”
Johannes thought for a moment that the whisper was words he had uttered himself. It wasn’t. He became slightly dazed and stared at Giovinetta’s earlobe.
“…Me?”
He asked curiously. Giovinetta still didn’t look at him. Rather, she slightly turned even her shoulders to the opposite side as if not wanting to give any reaction. Just as Johannes was about to reach out towards that shoulder without realizing it.
“Giovine…”
“You, Johannes.”
“…Yes.”
“After seeing me once before, why didn’t you come to visit anymore?”
Giovinetta asked without showing her face.
“That day I… I asked you to run away together, didn’t I?”
“……”
“You didn’t like that?”
“……”
“Perhaps, in your eyes… I was alone and trapped for something that wasn’t a big deal to you, and my appearance was ridiculous and wild… Did it make you uncomfortable?”
Such a light and faint voice. Normally, the latter words would not have been heard. But Johannes unfortunately heard it very clearly.
And why was it? At that moment, Johannes’ heart, which had been casually counting in his mind for suitable reasons to give while averting his gaze taking advantage of Giovinetta turning away from him, stopped as if struck by lightning. His gaze suddenly rose to the back of Giovinetta’s head.
“What are you saying right now….”
“So you didn’t want to see me anymore?”
Giovinetta asked in succession, as if cutting off his question. Johannes closed his mouth.
“While I was pathetically thinking only of you, you… probably didn’t miss me, someone like that, even a little bit?”
“……”
“Right?”
“……”
“Why…. can’t you answer….”
“……”
“I’m… asking you…!”
His elder sister suddenly sat up, striking the floor with her palm, and turned to face him. At that force, Johannes swallowed his breath. He was perplexed, without even realizing the exact reason for his perplexity. Although anger was raging in his elder sister’s voice, her blue eyes were pitifully open as usual, and it was like a silent icicle piercing his mind.
“…No.”
It was as if she had taxidermied her own eyelids. He barely moved his lips without even blinking once.
“What do you mean no….”
Giovinetta confronted him with eyes brimming with tears. Johannes’ solar plexus crumbled at that voice that seemed about to fade away at any moment. Why.
“Forget it…. It’s alright.”
“……”
“If I were in your position, I would have been annoyed too….”
His elder sister lies back down. Johannes’ dazed gaze followed her shoulders uncertainly.
“I want to sleep now. I’m tired….”
Johannes, completely at a loss, stared intently at the back of his elder sister’s head as she sharply pulled up the blanket to cover herself. The very bottom of his stomach was starting to tremble like an earthquake. What was causing his insides to be so scraped? Her resignation. Is it resignation?
It’s not. Resignation was merely the result of ‘something’ that had broken her. Johannes could hardly figure out the exact reason. He only felt something close to anxiety, a sensation of anger rising up his esophagus.
You… what are you doing now, he finally wanted to raise Giovinetta up and slap her cheek, burning up like fire. But he remained completely frozen. Because his elder sister’s delicate gaze still remained like a net, entangling his limbs. This time too, he alone was captivated by the other’s teary irises.
He simply could not escape her gaze. What… what is the reason for this? This… maddening….
“For me.”
“……”
“That’s… not…”
With a mind consumed in bright red, Johannes shook his head twice without even blinking. With his eyes still locked on his elder sister, he leaned his upper body forward, flinching, as if groping the air. His elder sister’s back was almost touching his forehead. His body didn’t feel like his own. Once again, his lips moved on their own, rambling.
“That I… you.”
“……”
“Didn’t miss you…. That I saw you as unsightly.”
“……”
“That can’t be. How…. is that. Even possible? Such a notion, how on earth….”
“……”
“Why, such…. Why? Unlike you to speak such weak words. Not a big deal… No. Don’t do this now. I… rather… you….”
He didn’t even know what he was saying or why. Is it because he doesn’t know the name of this rising anger in this state? His brain is beyond red, it’s black. Only then did his elder sister reluctantly sit up with a rustle. She stared at him with reddened eyelids that had appeared at some point.
“…You’re acting strange today, that’s why.”
His elder sister sobbed. Johannes, who had fixed his gaze on her eyelids, suddenly felt warmth on the back of his hand and flinched, shaking his shoulders. His gaze moved, searching for the warmth. Since when? His left hand is covering his elder sister’s cheek. His elder sister is barely holding his wrist with her right hand. A touch that seems about to fall like a feather at any moment. It was slightly convulsing.
“I.”
He muttered blankly, still with eyes wide open.
“Yes. You.”
“Am strange, you say. I…?”
“…Yes! Even just now. Look….”
Giovinetta, who was shouting as if about to push his hand away, finally barely lowered her gaze.
“Not exactly a welcoming… expression… Barely listening to what I’m saying… Your expression is unfamiliar. Your eyes. Are scary….”
“……”
“I need you more desperately than ever….”
His elder sister’s tearful sigh was precariously forming in the palm of his hand. Now Johannes was trembling all over his entire body. It was because of anger. The unidentified anger had now risen up to his chin. Even his elder sister’s sad warmth seemed to fan the internal division that had already risen to its peak. Ah. He didn’t want to hear any more. He should lower his hand now and strangle that neck…. Strangle it right now….
“If you really hate it, I’ll stop too. I’ll go back. I won’t come looking for you anymore. Having already endured well for a year, how difficult can the future be….”
“…I’m sorry.”
From under his pupils fixed on a single point as if frozen, Johannes’ lips fell open again on their own.
“Don’t go.”
“……”
“Please.”
Giovinetta’s moist gaze flicked up to his mouth. It was a gesture as if urging a detailed explanation. Johannes responded to her request with an expression like he was about to breathe his last.
“I just….”
“……”
“Feel awkward.”
“……”
“For not being able to help you, I feel sorry for that…. So….”
“……”
“I was… wrong…. It was never the meaning you imagined. Please… forgive me.”
“……”
“Come here.”
“……”
“…Please. Hold me like before.”
“……”
“So that I can… hear myself.”
“……”
“No, what am I saying, ah, I mean….”
“……”
“……”
“……”
“I, net….”
Unable to endure any longer, Johannes’ head finally drooped down. As he habitually raised one hand to cover his eyes, his elder sister poured into his arms as if to hide her own eyes. Johannes couldn’t bring himself to embrace her in return, so he hesitantly raised only the arm that wasn’t covering his face to wrap around her shoulders.
A faint sound of sorrowful sobbing bursts forth. His elder sister’s tears flowed over, threatening to completely soak Johannes’ collar. As if that wasn’t enough, his elder sister sat crosswise between Johannes’ crossed legs and nestled against him, placing her cheek near his heart.
His elder sister, who had raised her head from under his chin, gasped softly in a still choked voice.
“Like a fool….”
“……”
“Naively… falling for it….”
“……”
“Stupid… Johannes….”
“……”
“You…. Do you really think…. I won’t come back?”
“……”
What is this about now? Johannes became perplexed eyes and hastily leaned his upper body back. But only enough to make eye contact with his elder sister looking up at him with wet eyes. Johannes could see up to the shoulders of his elder sister curled up inside him, roughly wiping her wet eyes with the back of her hand.
“You… Your gullible side… how has it not changed at all….”
“…Me?”
“Yes. Yes.”
“……”
“Anyway…. So easy to handle….”
Easy, easy Johannes, his elder sister teased him, still hiccuping as if not having fully swallowed her tears, then smiled coyly with her still moist eye corners and placed her temple against his chest. Ah, that voice. That look….
Now even Johannes’ breathing airway was hot.
“…Hold me, Johannes.”
Johannes was startled by the sudden request. He shrugged his shoulders, creating space in his arms as if embracing a fireball, and embraced her with both arms rounded. His chin twitched several times. He felt like his lips might touch the crown of his elder sister’s head, which was shaking with her shoulders. Johannes even shuddered slightly at the feeling of his skin burning all over.
“More…”
“……”
“Hold me. Tighter.”
“……”
“Johannes.”
“……”
Just as his elder sister’s gaze, which seemed to be mocking him, was completely buried in his arms. Woong, Johannes seemed to hear a meaningless warning bell somewhere in his eardrum. Johannes swallowed his breath and looked up at the ceiling. The rain that had been falling in the bedroom had already stopped long ago. No, it had disappeared. Without a trace. Johannes’ pupils trembled helplessly.
I am, no, this is….
What….
…Why?
After Being Cheated On, She Picked Up a Treasure (Female-dominant)
One-line summary: The husband I married on a whim had been secretly in love with me for a long time.
On the day when Jun Shao finally obtained the imperial decree for her marriage, Lan Qu, the person she had admired for six years, defied the decree and ran away.
Her gentleness and devotion, her promise of a lifetime together, were all disregarded by him. Instead, he dreamed of entering the palace to serve the Emperor’s sister as a sixth-rank attendant.
News of this incident spread throughout the capital, and the alleys in front of and behind the Lan mansion were crowded with people who came to watch the commotion.
Jun Shao should have been embarrassed and angry.
But someone stepped in to protect her dignity.
The figure was in a miserable state, yet still possessed an undeniable elegance and handsomeness.
The young lord struggled to climb the wall of the Lan mansion and shouted to her, “If he won’t marry you, I will!”
So, Jun Shao took advantage of the situation and married the person.
She thought the young lord did it to save the Lan family from the crime of defying the imperial decree, but never imagined that from beginning to end, what he coveted was her.
*
After the wedding, Jun Shao felt like she was living in a dream.
Her Wife-master was as beautiful as a fairy in a painting, skilled in the six arts, well-versed in poetry and literature, capable of being gentle and attentive, and also grand and dignified. Most importantly, she was the only one in his heart and eyes.
Jun Shao didn’t know how Lan Shiwu, as a illegitimate son without a father and blessed with beauty, had managed to preserve his purity, recklessly escape, and use his last ounce of strength to ruin his own reputation, all because of his love for her, just to stand before her.
She could only see him gazing at her with eyes full of love, and when she bestowed a name upon him, his eyes shone like stars.
“You have come to me like a weary bird perching on a branch. I shall call you A Qi.”
