150.

Johannes’ breathing gradually became more rapid. To reunite in this state. It was absolutely unacceptable. He had to clean up this terrible appearance before being discovered by his sister. Staggering with his whole body, he barely stood up and started to frantically pull out the arrows.

Crunch, as a horrible sound seemed to ring in his own ears, the blunt arrowhead overturned his skin as it was pulled out. At the same time, a miserable sensation of blood vessels throughout his body stretching towards his neck rushed to the tips of his fingers and toes. The shadow of the thread sealing the wound was soon vivid under his chin.

Hurry. Quickly. Quickly…. Johannes, no longer even having a disgusted sentiment, pressed his neck as if urging himself. Then he jumped in surprise and shook his hands. The things wriggling under his bare palms were like thin… intestines.

…Damn it. Hurry….

Over his heart, which was about to burst urgently, instinct ran like flying in place of reason in his mind. Because he absolutely couldn’t face his sister. Should he run away like this? Even if this attempt would be in vain again…. But, but still….

“Young lady, you didn’t know….”

“What?”

“That person, since he couldn’t see you, his complexion and mood seem terrible…. He’s not at all like himself.”

It was Griselda’s subdued voice.

“No.”

His sister seemed to shake her head with her lips against Griselda’s skirt. She whispered with a light that couldn’t quite hide her excitement.

“How could I not know? I knew it would be like this. Of course Johannes would. What kind of relationship do we have.”

“……”

“Of course he should…. Ah, the hallway seems so long today….”

“……”

“Quickly. I want to see him soon….”

“……”

“……”

All at once….

Johannes’ anxious breathing, which had been continuing until then, suddenly stopped.

He froze like a person carved into the air with his eyes wide open. His sister’s whisper seemed to have suddenly stripped away the shell of emotions he didn’t even know existed until now. Longing.

Though there hadn’t been a single day in the past year when he hadn’t imagined his sister, the emotions that accompanied such obscene and cruel thoughts were actually far from longing. Now it was like a barbell that was almost like his own body. And the disappointment that we couldn’t do anything about it. He thought that was all….

I, Inet. Rather, I missed you even more….

Not just ‘that’, but ‘I’ also longed for you, to death….

Johannes stared at the empty space in front of him with eyes that seemed lifeless. What little was left of his sound mind seemed to snap at his sister’s single word of wanting to see him, being sucked entirely into his pitch-black dilated pupils. With a dazed look, he unconsciously gulped down a dry swallow.

Suddenly he was dying of thirst. He only now acutely realized the desolate landscape of his heart that was not just dry but cracked, the degree of thirst he had been trying to ignore. I want you too. I want you even more.

Yes. It was undoubtedly he who longed for the other more than anyone. It had always been so. He wanted to burst through the door right away, embrace her, and press her ear against his chest to hear his heartbeat.

Such a yearning heart was comparable to a child’s instinct to return to its mother’s womb. For Johannes, it was his sister who sometimes boldly and sometimes gently soothed that inexplicable thirst that he, oh, he himself missed to the point of nausea.

But he was in this state.

He couldn’t even dare to harbor emotions freely. The memory of desiring his sister so unpleasantly and vulgarly and resenting her just as much. And carrying the prophecy that would be fulfilled in an even more miserable form, he absolutely couldn’t even stand before her. Because you would run away the moment you confirm my true colors, a hundred times out of a hundred….

…….

…Ah.

At that moment, Johannes thought he faintly heard the sound of the axis that had been supporting the boundary of his consciousness finally breaking. Invisible black sparks seemed to spread only in his pupils. Like an unshakeable habit, after only looking for a hole to escape, as soon as he newly realized the longing he had been suppressing with determination to die until now, he accepted it as if collapsing.

…No matter how much I long, it’s all in vain. There’s no way for me anyway.

Because I am an immortal monster who dares to desire my sister and won’t be able to escape from this fate that is like a grudge, in the end, even though we shared the same womb as siblings, I am a body that cannot stand by your side….

“…I understand.”

Rather. If only I hadn’t understood you then.

At least this appearance… wouldn’t it have been different…?

At that moment. Johannes’ consciousness faded breathlessly. Johannes thought he heard the sound of the axis that had been supporting the boundary between himself and the devil breaking. Crack! His mind, which had been unable to hide its good color even when hesitating, became murky like black sludge. Though he had been resisting with all his might until now. The moment of raising the final white flag was so instantaneous.

If it’s going to be like this….

‘I’ should not have understood you then.

He was swept away. There was no way to stop it anymore. He held Idris’ heart to his chest. Am I Idris or Johannes? No, he no longer cared who he ‘was’. Even the blood vessels were rising in his eyes, which were sinking into a deep blue.

Yes. If it was going to be like this, he shouldn’t have understood her. Because of the self-sacrificing spirit he showed without knowing his place, she was more terrible than anyone at the end of that life and brought about such a miserable result.

Me.

The woman who grew up eating my heart.

The very culprit who drove me to this state. You who easily spent your life without me while fully retaining my pathetic appearance and will continue to spend it easily without memories in the future are more terrible than that bastard Jabi….

“Haa….”

He let out a sound that seemed to scratch from the inside of his throat. Then suddenly he raised both hands that had been hanging down limply. A bronze weapon with long black claws crouched like a trap in front of him. While wondering about his hands that had changed without warning, a strange chill was rising throughout his body. It wasn’t a reaction from pain. The sensation was completely different from usual. Ah, rather, if only I hadn’t understood you then… It was a sensation stemming from such thoughts that didn’t seem to be his own.

It was a strange thing. What trick did the devil inside play? Though he had often lost consciousness and recalled old memories until now, he had never felt like mixing with the devil’s emotions while wide awake like this moment. Not even once. Only all reason was blank as if waterlogged. Just his body was throbbing, throbbing, grotesquely anxiously.

“Johannes…!”

Johannes shuddered in the darkness. The person who called him was Giovinetta. Outside the bedroom.

“Johannes. It’s me…. Open the door….”

He twisted his upper body, groping to stare at the entrance. He quietly suppressed the urge to smash the door right away. He had to be as normal as usual, like a trap. For her to set her delicate foot in his lair.

You must now pay the price for my past sacrifices….

You must compensate for my future miserable life….

He approached the doorway. Each step he took was unnatural as if some joint had been broken. While hooking his fingers on the inner bolt, he suddenly thought of his claws and bloodstains, so he delayed answering. He had to hide it. She might run away. Johannes’ whole body was trembling slightly as he pushed the door with his back almost instinctively.

“Johannes?”

“Just… a moment.”

“What?”

“Wait a moment. Right now… my appearance… is terrible.”

“What…?”

“…I just woke up.”

At least half of it wasn’t a lie. But Giovinetta seemed dumbfounded. Soon, unable to wait any longer, she started to call out to open him up.

“Are you joking? What does it matter…. Just open the door first, I won’t look…. Johannes. We’re in a hurry now….”

“……”

“Open it, Johan….”

Giovinetta clung to the doorway urgently, seeming to look around. Boom, went.

That vibration.

Ah…. Johannes unknowingly pricked up his senses. Even though he fully understood her impatience, the repeated impact of his sister on his back was too piercing. He felt as if his heart would stop completely. His sister’s slender fingertips frantically grope at his exit, scratching, scratching, just a door away. Because even that subtle vibration that normally wouldn’t be felt was fully transmitted to the skin of his back, Johannes suddenly shuddered at that miserable sensation. Along the curves of his back to the nape of his neck. It tingles numbly. Ah. Ah….

“What, are you doing…. Johan.”

“……”

“What on earth are you doing in there to be like this. Open it….”

What am I doing, you ask. At such an innocent question, all surroundings turn red hot. I can’t answer. I can’t answer ‘yet’ that I’m feeling you in every detail. Only my pulse races meaninglessly.

He raised one hand, bent over, groping to cover his mouth. As if his sister wouldn’t sense his presence if he did so. Like a beast that barely tucked its head into a narrow burrow. If only this hand would cool down soon so I could let you in…. Meanwhile, from beyond his back, a voice tapping on the door without knowing any fear came over mercilessly softly.

“Johannes…. Johannes.”

Johannes pretended not to hear that request and wiped his face several times. Then realizing his hand was no longer firm, he raised his head straight. He was ready. He swallowed the breath that seemed about to pant right away behind the root of his tongue. He opens, the door.

“Sorry for… making you wait.”

“…Ah!”

A small, fragile exclamation….

Burst out. In front of Johannes.

“…Come in.”

Because he suddenly opened the door, his sister, accompanied by Griselda, was standing in the middle of the hallway like a reed stepping on the shadow of a torch, as if pushed back. With eyes that were usually indescribably profound, round today.

It’s truly a reunion after 1 year. The gazes of the two people, who seemed almost unchanged, met as if about to break. Johannes watched silently, soothing his heart that felt about to burst, as moist blush slowly rose on Giovinetta’s cheeks as she discovered her brother.

“Johannes…!”

Giovinetta rushed into his arms.

Caught you….

He embraced Giovinetta, who was sobbing uncontrollably against his neck, and just slightly turned his head to stare at his bed. It was then that he saw the corpse of a bird with its neck broken under the bed leg. He quickly recognized the shirt and pants he had taken off, as well as the darkened bloodstains.

It’s in the way…. Johannes lowered his eyes, feeling Giovinetta’s weight on his chest. At that moment, the white and red corpse scattered into the air.

Like, ashes.

***

“You may go now.”

Giovinetta said. Griselda, who had been watching the siblings from a chair near the entrance, hesitated for a moment but soon got up and dusted off her seat.

“…Then I’ll come to escort you before dawn.”

Giovinetta, who had been clinging tightly to Johannes’ side until then, suddenly jumped up from her seat and ran to her. It seemed she was trying to see her off, unlike her usual self.

“You’ll probably retire later than usual today since you’ll need to catch up.”

“Yes. That’s right.”

“Even if you’re tired, please don’t sleep too deeply.”

“Okay.”

“…Then.”

“Um, wait…!”

Giovinetta grabbed Griselda as she was turning to leave. When the nanny’s puzzled gaze fell downward, the girl who received that gaze lowered her eyes with a startled look. Even her toes were fidgeting, looking somewhat embarrassed and quite shy.

“…Um.”

“Yes.”

Griselda responded politely. The girl who had called out but couldn’t speak mumbled hesitantly.

“Th…”

“……”

“Thank you.”

And.

“Thank you, really….”

The girl’s words were buried in the nanny’s apron. She threw her small body to embrace her stiff nanny forcefully. The hems of the two women’s skirts brushed against each other.

“You know, you… saved us. So now you’re like my benefactor….”

Giovinetta murmured softly. Griselda is somehow silent. After a strangely uncomfortable silence flowed for a moment, she barely answered.

“…You’re too kind.”

“……”

“It’s all… for my own sake.”

The end of those words was quite blurred.

I’ll attend to you often in the future, so please go to bed early today. Of course it will be difficult, but try. Don’t raise your voice. And you must stay only in this bedroom…. The nanny gave a few more instructions before slowly detaching Giovinetta’s body.

“…Good night.”

With the sound of the door opening and closing, Griselda left. In the center of the bedroom remained only Giovinetta, who had been watching the nanny’s back until the end. So now in this bedroom are only the lonely sound of rain wetting the black fortress and the two siblings.

“Now… what should I do?”

Giovinetta asked, turning around hesitantly. Johannes, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, asked back.

“About what?”

“…Me!”

Giovinetta, who had cried out suddenly, covered her mouth as if she couldn’t bear the overflowing excitement. The sight of her approaching Johannes with small steps, pretending to be a doll without a mouth, was quite cute. Are you that excited? Johannes laughed out loud.

“Of course! How could I not be excited. Are you not as happy as I am?”

“How could that be…. Come here. Let’s… lie down! And continue our remaining lamentations.”

“…Ack!”

Suddenly grabbed by the waist and thrown onto the bed, his sister made a strange sound. It immediately turned into muffled laughter. As if worried it might leak outside, Giovinetta eventually pressed a pillow firmly against her face and started holding her breath. Her thin body, wrapped in just one thin nightgown, trembled.

Johannes buried his forehead in one of Giovinetta’s shoulders and let out a long sigh mixed with laughter. Ah, finally. Finally…. He swallowed dry saliva alone. This night.

It seemed it would be heartbreakingly short.