#124

In fact, he opened his eyes without any memory. Moreover, for a few years after the day he first opened his eyes, he simply lay in his cradle without any particular awareness. His vision was like a blister. His focus, blocked by a transparent membrane, never settled on distant objects, and things outside his focus were always blurred like halos of light. And of all people, it was his sister who monopolized the narrow field of vision. Giovinetta Isolde Yuricates Valdemar. There were no exceptions.

Because the siblings were as close as one body, he couldn’t see his sister’s whole figure. He only saw the fine hairs on her white cheeks glistening in the transparent spring sunlight. The light-colored hair below her ears often scattered like feathers, and her soft eyelids would quietly settle, enveloping her glass bead-like eyes.

His sister remained in his newly formed mind like a few panels of a painting. It was more of a landscape than a portrait, more of an impression than a memory. An occasional golden forest hiding a pond. He, who didn’t even know what beauty was without anything to compare it to, simply found his sister dazzling.

He learned about humans through his sister, who was blindingly dazzling to his eyes. He grew up imitating his sister, the only beautiful human figure by his side. He instinctively mimicked her every small gesture, every subtle expression. When his sister laughed, he laughed along, and when she cried, his heart ached. Until his head was more firmly set, he thought this was only natural.

And unfortunately, unexpected warmth began to pour over him, who had only been true to his instincts. His sister, unaware that her twin brother was actually just a blank slate imitating her, loved him as if caring for her own body.

“Johannes, my Johannes.”

His sister clung to her fake relative like a leech. From her perspective, he was always a perfectly matching brother, so she couldn’t help but love him. And Johannes gradually realized that the attention and warmth his sister poured on him felt quite good.

Beasts are tamed by gentle hands. The eyes of the devil wearing a human face began to change. Now he was no different from a domesticated animal warmed by his sister’s touch. As Johannes’s interest in his sister deepened, the siblings’ affection became extraordinary.

It didn’t raise concerns from those around them. Until the siblings were three or four years old, those unaware of the situation simply saw them as unusually close siblings. From some point on, Johannes’s gaze towards his fake sister became unusual, but even then, only a very few worried about the siblings’ relationship.

From the start, it was already unusual that fraternal twins looked so alike. People assumed there must be something only the two of them knew, viewing it as one of the mysteries not yet illuminated by civilization. Moreover, their cold father and deranged mother were not the type to harbor worries about their children.

The predestined misfortune continued to take root in the midst of indifferent power. The situation remained unchanged even after the siblings were well past six years old. It was a time of false peace, when everything was secretly rotting from the inside, unbeknownst to anyone.

Then, at the beginning of summer.

The children’s room, usually noisy with playmates’ commotion, was unusually quiet that day. Johannes felt the moisture of the drizzling rain outside on his cheeks as he lay his head next to his sister. It was exactly the third day since his sister had taken to bed with an unseasonable fever.

The head servant wanted to move his sister to Winfrid’s sickroom, but Griselda strongly objected, saying it might spread the disease to the frail child. In the end, his sister’s nursing took place in the children’s room.

As always, their parents didn’t show their faces. Since it had always been just the siblings in their daily life, he didn’t feel particularly sad or disappointed. He just felt heavy-hearted seeing his sister’s parched lips. Even his breathing felt stuffy, as if he had some kind of indigestion.

“You look gloomy. Why don’t you take a walk in the corridor?”

Griselda, who came to check on his sister, suggested to him with an expressionless face. Almost pushed out of the room, Johannes aimlessly walked out of the main tower. Though the rainwater running down his cheeks was cold, he preferred it. After watching his sister moan in pain for days, he almost wished he could be sick too.

Walking along the castle walls that seemed to have been wet since the beginning of time, shedding rainwater, he made his way to the drawbridge. There, he saw soldiers with long spears driving away a group of beggars. A few vassals who had rushed out despite the pouring rain were throwing stones at the group, who were hard to distinguish as human or rags.

Ah! At some point, a short scream rang out, and red blood spread in the muddy puddle. The soldiers and vassals backed away from the blood, going “Ugh.” It was as if they were facing a living plague.

“What are you doing?”

Startled by the cruel scene he had never seen before, he grabbed one of the vassals and asked. Just then, a beggar’s hood came off, revealing a bare face. Johannes held his breath for a moment. The beggar’s face. It was… so… pitiful and… terrible. He was instantly moved. The one whose hood came off quickly crouched down and covered their head.

“They’re lepers.”

The vassal whose arm Johannes had grabbed clicked his tongue loudly at the group of patients and bowed deeply to report.

“They’re a cursed bunch. They’re those who couldn’t reach heaven due to sins in their past lives and have returned to this life. Their skin is like that because they passed through the fires of hell underground. It’s their sins manifesting in their rotting flesh. It seems these whelps who somehow survived the winter have drifted here in search of food, but we’ll drive them out soon.”

“Still, stop the stone-throwing. They look miserable enough as it is.”

“Pardon?”

“I mean, is there really a need to add to their suffering? If this is truly divine punishment… isn’t their current state enough?”

“But they’re disgusting.”

Johannes was momentarily at a loss for words. That puzzled expression of the vassal. The expression that spoke of rejection as if it were natural was somehow shocking. Strangely, it felt as if someone was kicking apart the mound of earth covering him.

Dumbfounded, he swallowed the rainwater that hit his lips and hurriedly returned to the main tower. When the precious young master entered the main gate soaking wet, several servants were alarmed and rushed to him, but Johannes only took a towel and brushed off their hands. Then he headed straight for his sister’s room. Even without fully realizing why, he desperately needed her at that moment. I need to hold her hand to feel at ease.

He pushed open the heavy door with his shoulder. But the bed was empty. His sister was nowhere to be seen. He immediately turned around and went to Winfrid’s sickroom. Not there. Unable to think of where his sick sister might have gone, he wandered aimlessly here and there, and the last place he drifted into happened to be the duke and duchess’s bedroom.

It was like the dragon’s nest, located in the deepest part of the main tower. Johannes stopped abruptly in front of the massive entrance door.

“Ugh, ugh…. Ugh….”

A strange voice was leaking through the tightly closed door. It was the moaning of his mother, who spent all day in a half-dazed state. At first, he was just a little surprised. He thought it strange that his mother, who usually just stared out the window with an inhuman expression, was making such human-like sounds.

But why is she in pain? Caught up in curiosity, he didn’t think to announce his presence and just opened the door. About a hand’s width. And he looked inside.

“Ugh, ugh…. Ugh….”

The strange heat wafting from the inner chamber wet his young cheeks. It felt like heat flowing from the gasping moans. Despite the hot air, Johannes froze where he stood.

His father was assaulting his mother, who was bent over on the bed.

Assault? No, that’s copulation. Recalling past events, Johannes realized in an instant. He had once seen two dogs mating in the center of the training ground where the knights had gathered, under the hot sun. That scene looked exactly like his parents’ current position.

That day, the knights who discovered the young master standing in shock, approached him laughing and surrounded him.

“They’re mating. To have puppies.”

“Mating?”

When Johannes questioned, the knights exchanged glances and explained the act of mating in detail with mischievous smiles. It’s about time you knew, young master. You see, the male’s lower part… Gestures with hands and feet moving up, down, left, and right. How vividly they described something that would have been hard to understand even if seen directly.

“If you do that, you have offspring?”

“Yes.”

“…Perhaps we also have children in such a posture?”

Johannes frowned, feeling somewhat disgusted. The dark knights laughed wickedly.

“You’re surprised. Actually, humans and beasts look the same when mating.”

“Even those lowly creatures only look like that during breeding season, but us men have no such season.”

Gotta stick it in when you’re horny. One knight with folded arms snickered as if talking to himself. A more gentlemanly-looking knight glanced at him and bowed, admonishing:

“Young master, originally, a woman’s body is an object created for a man’s satisfaction. It may seem repulsive to your young eyes now, but in fact, it feels good to do that. This means you must keep your wits about you. If you don’t want to experience troublesome things, please be careful with women.”

“Ah, well said. There’s no shortage of men who’ve been ruined after getting caught in a spider’s legs. Moreover, when you become a proper man, young master…”

The knight looked over the young master he served, then grinned and continued.

“There will be no shortage of bodies throwing themselves at you. So even if you enjoy yourself, don’t leave any unnecessary loose ends. No, even a few bastards might be useful, but once you pass a dozen or so, they become completely useless baggage…”

The knights roared with laughter. The voices from the memory fade away. Johannes raised his hand like a breaking branch, carefully closing the door without making a sound. He stood still in front of the closed door.