#121

Johannes, half-naked with his delicate top pushed up to below his collarbone and bottom garment completely undone, leaving only his limbs covered in cloth. Meanwhile, as if demanding more, he raised his member towards me, panting heavily with his half-white, half-black appearance. I couldn’t help but tremble to my toes.

My waist, my back… It felt like they would twist completely.

“Johannes. Johannes…. You need to move. Okay?”

I was burning. I wanted to witness his climax somehow. But Johannes remained motionless despite my urging. He only moaned with moist eyes, as if it was utterly impossible to continue.

Finally, unable to bear it any longer, I covered the back of his hand with both of my palms. Unlike mine, I could barely cover half of his large hand, but as I moved hastily, the tip of my thumb that had slipped down grazed the hot surface of his shaft.

“Th… That’s enough.”

Johannes shuddered.

“Enough. I… Inette. Enough.”

“Ah, no. No. I don’t want to…”

“Th-ah. Inette….”

“Why. Why…?”

“I can’t, hold back anymore. I’m… I’m about to, cum….”

“Do it. It’s fine, right? I want to see. Ah, show me.”

“Ah, …please. Please….”

He shook his head as if he was about to burst into tears. That desperate refusal rather encouraged me, whose head was already flushed red with excitement.

“You asked me to watch before. Are you afraid it’ll be dirty? No. No. I don’t mind anywhere. Don’t be shy. Do it in front of my eyes, Johannes.”

“No. That’s, that’s not it….”

Johannes couldn’t finish his sentence and lowered his head deeply. Finally, he raised one hand to cover his eyes, twitching as if enduring an overwhelming sensation for a moment. The hand that had covered his eyes slowly came down. It gradually stretched out. Onto my thigh that was straddling him.

Ah.

I momentarily lost my words. Johannes was hissing through gritted teeth, his eyes half-lowered as if feeling guilty. However, his nails that began to slowly scratch up my thigh didn’t stop. I froze at that sharp sensation.

The feeling of the thin nightgown being pushed up by the sharp metal. It seemed to herald my impending climax. The damp sensation of my underwear, which had been completely wet for some time, was freshly touching my skin. It was unbearably dizzying.

“…let me do it.”

Johannes begged me.

“I want to, inside you, Inette. Inside you… Ah. Let… Let me put it in….”

“……”

“I can’t, hold back anymore…. As you said… the time I’ve been holding back for you has been, too… lo-long…. Ah, it’s been so long…. So won’t you accept me. Accept me…. Please accept me, Inette…. Acc….”

On that day, he desperately poured out the long-held desire. I gasped for a moment at the dizzying heat warming my body, even though I didn’t fully understand the meaning of his plea. Johannes’s voice, clinging to me voluntarily as if nothing else mattered now, seemed to lick the inside of my eardrum, biting my earlobe. However.

Accept him?

“…I don’t want to.”

As soon as I refused, Johannes’s expression crumbled painfully.

I sensed that the moment of quenching I had longed for all night had finally arrived. It was the moment of embracing Johannes as he walked into my grave of his own accord. And the moment of burying us in one grave. The form of love where I could most intensely feel your affection.

A black vine flower blooming in a curse.

A faint tremor tightened my stomach. Suppressing my trembling insides, I moved my body deeper into the grave.

“I don’t want to…. Johannes.”

“…nette.”

“Why should I? I don’t want to. I refuse.”

“Ah….”

I shook my head, unable to hide my excited breathing. Because you shouldn’t be easily forgiven. Because you need to be more desperate for me, you need to beg me more. Ah, yes.

I won’t readily give myself to you. You should be desperate, unable to commit the sin. You should commit the sin with eyes that look like you’re about to have a seizure. Kill me. Let’s die together. Let me feel your love like that.

That was my cruel inner thought.

“…I don’t want to.”

I supported my upper body by propping myself up with both arms behind my back and retreated abruptly.

“Inette….”

Clunk. The sword that had been leaning against the wall toppled over, caught on Johannes’s wings that had begun to rise towards the ceiling. Johannes, who had been silent while panting painfully, had finally begun to raise himself towards me.

“I don’t… want to.”

Johannes, who had already fully raised his upper body, knelt before me as I kept retreating.

The cool moonlight cast a huge shadow over my head. That shadow was wings half-spread to both sides, raising a cold wind. And the silver pupils hidden under the center of the wing shadows seemed to be losing what little reason they had left from the beginning. As always, your gaze that was hard to tell whether it was sad or angry. Now possessed by sin.

Thus, I could immediately envision the scene that was about to unfold, perhaps more barbaric than ever before. One step. Johannes approached me on his knees.

“Inette. Please….”

His sorrowful voice, still seemingly trembling, was like crocodile tears. You, about to kill me soon. Making such a voice while staring at me, whom you’ll devour directly.

That contradictory and seemingly barbaric scene was so dizzying, it took my breath away. Although it was a situation I had willingly brought about, facing such a Johannes filled me with a strange tension. It was similar to the feeling of looking at the rope I had hung on the black ceiling with my own hands. One step forward.

My whole body, which couldn’t help but be tense, finally began to tremble violently. Sitting down with my knees up as if I had fallen on my bottom, I retreated further, pushing against the floor hesitantly.

“I, did wrong…. Inette.”

But another step. The rope that would strangle my neck crawled towards me on its knees and begged.

“I don’t want your apology or anything like that. Go away. I don’t want to. I, I won’t do it….”

Although it was a refusal that clearly showed signs of tension even to my own ears, it didn’t seem to reach him. No, it reached him, but he seemed utterly unable to accept it. It was what I wanted.

He approached a little closer, exhaling deeply with a gasp, gasp. By then, I had been driven to near the exit and was engulfed by the eerie feeling of facing a predator in a dead-end alley.

My muscles twitched here and there as if I had become prey about to be caught by fangs with a chilling maw. Even my vision narrowed like the tip of an awl, and eventually, the scene before my eyes was all pitch-black Johannes.

As the distance between us narrowed, my head tilted back. Since predators don’t miss the moment when prey averts their eyes and pounce, I couldn’t dare turn my face away from his pupils as my flesh trembled.

At that moment, I was no different from a clown willingly performing acrobatics on the edge of a cliff. Such a thrill so close to death. An achingly dizzying sensation.

Inette. Inette…. His breathing sound, low, sad, and painfully gasping from a dizzying height, shook my spine. Soon I’ll be caught. I’m going to be caught. The fine tremors starting from my spine spread to my feet and palms touching the floor, not sparing any part.

And then. I felt the sensation of nails covering one of my knees.

“Don’t touch me.”

Johannes’s hand, pushed away by mine, stopped abruptly in mid-air. I tried to turn my body and run away as I was. But grip.

My ankle was caught as I tried to crawl away. The sound of both of us inhaling sharply at the same time. And then silence. I, stiffened from the spine, couldn’t move an inch. I just curled up halfway as if about to dig my nails into the cold floor. But resistance was futile. My whole body was dragged backwards from the ankle, scratching the wooden floor. That sound broke the silence. Screech. Screech. Screech….

“…I’m sorry.”

Johannes apologized in a low voice as he flipped me over, dragged between his knees.

“Ah, I’m, sorry…. So, just a little. Just, once….”

Begging like that, he panted in the pitch darkness he had cast. Covering both my knees with his palms, he slowly pushed his upper body forward.

“N-no. I don’t want to….”

Suffer more. I swallowed my inner words and pressed my entire back against the floor.

“I-Inette….”

“Don’t, call me. I don’t want to.”

Be in more pain.

“Inette….”

“I hate you…. I, I, hate y-…”

I couldn’t finish my words. Johannes spread my knees apart and pushed his entire body forward, and I, with my stomach pressed by his weight, inhaled sharply.

“I’m sorry. Ah, I’m sorry….”

Johannes, who had pressed his lower body against me, rubbed my eyes as if out of habit. It was a careful gesture despite his trembling, perhaps worried he might stab me with his nails. Maybe it was because of that gentle gesture that I could cry even while directly putting the rope around my neck. I sobbed loudly. I had no mind to wipe away these tears at all.

“I said I hate you….”

“Ah, ugh….”

I shuddered slightly in the shadow that covered me. With a crunch. The sound of nails digging into the floor somewhere above my head echoed. Johannes, who had dug in one hand like that, brought his hot nape down to my ear, and then the tip of his nose, with his head deeply bowed, came close enough to almost touch my ear.

Johannes’s shadow and Johannes’s heat draped over me like one body. His shoulders, much larger than needed to cover me, blocked my view like a solid wall, and I could no longer see anything else.

“Sor-ry…. Inette. I’m, I’m sorry….”

“Ha, ugh…. Ah! Johannes. Jo-han. I don’t, want….”

Let’s die together, Johannes….

The slick sensation made my insides feel like they were burning up. He, who had been desperately seeking forgiveness, didn’t even remove my underwear. He just pushed the fabric aside and entered, finally burying himself inside me. He whispered endlessly in my ear with a voice mixed with pain and excitement. That he was sorry, that it was all his fault and his sin.