Lady Devil - Chapter 12

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#12

The fortress was quiet. More than an hour had passed. Unable to bear the feeling of being drenched in sweat, I crawled out from under the blanket. After pushing away the blanket with my toes, I listened attentively to the outside.

Even through the sealed window, the sound of night insects crying could be heard. The surroundings were so quiet, with only darkness deepening.

“…It seems today will pass like this.”

“Yes. It’s much earlier than usual.”

“I suppose the priests succeeded?”

I hadn’t specifically asked Griselda, it was almost like talking to myself. However, my insensitive soliloquy seemed to have made Griselda uncomfortable. Griselda, who had been sitting slumped in a chair, visibly hesitated for a while before carefully saying:

“Shall I go check?”

The success of the ritual was ultimately no different from evidence of a flawed ruler. It must have been difficult for her to answer, and she probably wasn’t very keen on it. I understood. But I didn’t care. That silence then. With each passing moment feeling like fragments of life and death, there was no room to consider subordinates.

“Sure.”

Naturally, I sent her without hesitation.

Griselda, who had gone downstairs, returned right away. She reported that Johannes was in a deep sleep, and the priests were guarding his bedroom. She also said that the knights and servants, except for the clergy, had returned to their own quarters. She spoke at length about how the ritual had ended successfully. My hand unconsciously rose to my mouth.

The terror that seemed like it would never end appeared to be truly reaching its finale. That relief flooding in like thin air. I stuck my neck out into it and took a deep breath.

Though I didn’t know exactly what had happened, I judged it to be in my favor for now. Therefore, not today. At least not today. I immediately removed the wet blanket far away outside the woodpile, and Griselda received it and replaced it with a dry one.

I was completely exhausted. How many days had it been since I’d slept properly, I couldn’t even count. Perhaps due to being tense for too long, drowsiness rushed in along with relief. I sat with my knees up, watching Griselda work.

By then, Griselda’s eyes were already half-closed, and even the task of folding the sheet seemed burdensome, as if her finger joints were frozen. It seemed that if she accidentally bumped into something, she would collapse right there and fall asleep like a corpse.

Seeing her in that state after feeling relieved, I felt then that I had done something unforgivable to a person.

“…Are you tired?”

“No, young lady.”

Griselda answered while trying hard to erase her sleepiness, which only made me feel more embarrassed. Even I shouldn’t be that insensitive. While I spend my days locked in the women’s quarters, just bathing and embroidering, Griselda must be exhausted from taking care of me all day and handling all the chores.

Feeling quite sheepish, I gently urged her.

“Don’t lie. Tell the truth when I give you the chance.”

“…”

“You’re very tired now, aren’t you? Exhausted?”

“…A little.”

Just a little. Griselda added with an awkward smile. You really had a hard time, didn’t you. I buried my face in my knees and laughed along with her.

“I feel much more at ease knowing the priests are staying in the main tower too. I’m really foolish… Why didn’t I think of the priests until now?”

“You shouldn’t have such thoughts. It was possible because it was Elder Winfrid’s idea.”

“Yes, that’s right…”

My chin kept sinking between my crouched knees. My eyelids, my body, everything felt heavy as if pressed down by a wide stone slab. Even the pain that had been throbbing in my shoulders and back until then was buried under the heavy fatigue and forgotten.

“Thank you, Griselda… I think I’ll be alright today.”

“No, young lady. You’ve gotten so thin lately. I’ll stay by your side, so sleep without worry.”

“Go on. I’m fine.”

“Young lady.”

“I said I’m fine.”

“…Are you sure?”

“Yes. I wouldn’t say something that’s not true.”

Griselda watched my expression for a moment. “I’m glad, young lady.” She smiled with deeply sunken eyes. She soon returned to her own bedroom. The sight of her quietly turning off the lights as she left somehow seemed lonely, and it remained deeply etched in my memory.

And so, Kretzman.

I still think about it sometimes.

Just before I fell asleep, when ‘he’ got up from the bed and turned off the light. When he gazed at me blankly in the darkness before leaving the room. When I heard the rustling sound of his clothes brushing against the closing door…

Ah, if I hadn’t sent Griselda away at that time on that day, would something have been different? Such idle thoughts.

I don’t think I’ve lived that long. Perhaps that’s why I don’t know the answer. Why tragedy strikes without warning. Why it devours people without even giving them a chance to prepare. Why it must be so cruel. In the end, that’s why it’s a tragedy, I suppose.

Even after sending Griselda away, I couldn’t fall asleep easily. My head was empty. Just filled with the foolish assumption and relief that Johannes’ seizures, which must have been suppressed by some divine power, would never recur again. I was barely hanging on to that thin thread of calm that had already been completely frayed.

I don’t know. Perhaps I wanted to believe it even though I knew it wasn’t true. Because I could no longer endure the fatigue that filled my veins like swamp water. So.

All my nerves clung to my skin. Though the blanket had been changed, my nightgown was still the same, so my body, soaked in sweat, felt terribly unpleasant. It seemed like the smell of old blood from 8 years ago was lingering in my nostrils. The dark bed. The smell of iron. Smell. Damp smell. Sound.

The sound of bones.

Voice.

No. I shuddered. I staggered to my feet, intending to wash up briefly and change into a fresh nightgown.

I stood in front of the mirror. I braided my hair, bringing it forward. A good quality mirror reflects the whole body without much distortion. Black and yellow light rippled, and there was a woman in it.

Trending

I didn’t immediately recognize who that woman was. Because the indifferent flesh was no different from usual, and human eyes couldn’t see the powdered interior, I felt strange to myself.

A woman with pale blonde hair in disarray. That woman, it couldn’t be me. I stared blankly at the strange woman in the mirror for a long time. It wasn’t long after that. When the reflection’s mouth was covered.

A hand emerging from the darkness.

Long bronze nails reaching to the woman’s earlobe.

“…Giovinetta…”

A deep, low voice that seemed to penetrate the crown and travel down the spine dropped to the woman’s toes. Spider-like chills crawled up the woman’s calves. Passing through the flesh of the inner thighs, crossing the sunken waist and back, crawling and crawling up to the nape of the neck.

The devil’s hand slowly scratched down the woman’s neckline. As the fingertip touched the protruding collarbone, it scratched back inward along that line. It slowly stroked the skin, digging into the woman’s clothes and lifting them from below. Abruptly, the thick-jointed index finger rose like a claw. The jacket string pierced by that nail. And only then…

The woman became me.

“…You look surprised. Did you think today would be uneventful…?”

By my ear, it rustled, rustled.

The sound of my collar coming undone was thus the beginning of a long, long night.

Kretzman.

I won’t tell you the details of the situation at that time.

Just that it to me. No, it me. To me it… Me.

It. I.

I.

***

It’s blacked out. As if smeared roughly by hand. I turned the page.

It’s blank.

I turned more pages.

Kretzman Kretzman Kretzman Kretzman….

The same name is written across three or four pages.

02. Two Towers

…What are you doing?

You should open your eyes…. Giovinetta. Open your eyes. You need to open your eyes and look ahead. Open your eyes….

…..

I said open them.

…..

Yes. Well do- Ah… Ugh. What should I do. What should I do…. Giovinetta. It feels disgustingly good…. Disgustingly good…. Right? …Giovinetta. Can you see. Hm? That I’m, here, right now. Damn…. Ah. …You’re beautiful. So good….

…I don’t want to. Mmm….

Actually, I’m not surprised anymore. You always, with that face like you don’t know anything, with those pretty lips, every time. Every time…. Every time. Just damn refusal. Ah, the woman I love so much it pierces this heart is truly selfish. As cold as a frozen blade, as venomous as a snake, always putting me last…. Even when you stab me in the back like that, how can you always be so beautiful…. Giovinetta….

…..

…Ha, that day, you liked it so much, didn’t you? Right? Call out to me. Today too, call out…. Ah. Uh…. Why are you. Why aren’t you saying anything today. Why aren’t you calling me. No. You, of all people, absolutely must not, you must.

Deny it.

Why aren’t any words coming out today. Why can’t I hear your voice calling my name today. Surely you’re not actually willing. Or is it that I’m so horrible you don’t even want to call my name? Is that it…?

…..

…Ah, this is. I’m sorry. How could you say anything like this. Haa…. I forgot. I’m sorry. Ah! Wait, wait. Ugh…. Giovinetta… I’m going crazy….

…..

No, my lovely, our young lady. Why, can’t you speak…? Is it because I’m horrible? …I’m right, aren’t I, Giovinetta. I’m horrible, right? …Answer me. Come on. I’m waiting…. Go on, go on…. Mmm. Say no.

…..

…Didn’t you say I was horrible? I remember it very clearly…. You definitely said that. With eyes full of complete contempt, you said that to me. So Giovinetta. Now, say it again. Am I horrible…? Am I horrible? Hm? Say it.

…..

Haa…. Well, I suppose so. To you, I must be, ugh, worse than a maggot when it comes to being despicable. Moreover, doing this, with someone like me, must be even more horrible…. Even more filthy. You must want to die right now…. Still, I must be better than that old man. Can’t you smile a little?

…..

Giovinetta. Are you angry today, or in pain? When you who should be enjoying this look so sad, it doesn’t make me feel very good…. So, Giovinetta. Answer me.

…..

…Am I horrible? Were you happy to leave me?

…..

Come on, if you answer prettily, I’ll let you go….

…..

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