I barely held back a laugh. Had I not been acting right now, I would have burst into laughter the moment I heard that.

Lonely? Do you think that’s a valid excuse?

No. Absolutely not.

I understand. I have a terrible temper. Too much had happened to act nonchalant like before.

After the fall of Creighton, everyone was my enemy.

In order to survive in the malice towards me, I learned to appear indifferent. I smiled as a habit, and never showed my emotions.

The past me thought it was a given to receive goodwill. Being the center of attention was both natural and enjoyable for me.

Until I realized all that was because I was the ‘talented’ Creighton.

The ones who talked about my downfall and ridiculed it the most were those who praised me and my family more than anyone else. To them, my tragedy was a fun game.

There were parties even on the day of my father’s death, and when my older brother went missing.

Those who I thought were my closest friends coveted my endoftheyear dress that I couldn’t pay for because I lost my master. My father’s business partners were happy that they didn’t have to pay back the promissory notes they borrowed from Creighton.

At first, I felt betrayed, but that was temporary. Soon, I couldn’t even feel such emotions. There were too many people to respond with emotions one by one. Just accepting that fact was overwhelming.

My father was a person who gave ten when he received one. He always said to look at the world with kind eyes, believing that goodwill would come back someday.

To exaggerate a little, there was probably no one in the empire who hadn’t received my father’s help. But despite that, everyone turned their backs on my father too easily. That was the most painful fact.

It felt like my father’s proud life was ridiculed entirely.

My father was not someone to be treated like that.

So, I think I was even more flustered.

On the day I got married to Baker, everyone was watching me.

The talented Miss Creighton is no big deal, they said, seeing that Creighton will soon completely fall, looking at her marrying the son of a humble merchant.

Walking down the virgin road among those who were expecting another game, I honestly don’t remember what kind of face I made.

What I remember is that I kept mulling over Baker’s promise.

The reason I chose Baker was not only because it was the emperor’s command, but also because he was the only one who promised me.

He said he would revive Creighton as before, and he would regain the lost honor of my father.

To prove his words, Baker made a vacant spot where the portraits of previous Creighton dukes were collected after our marriage.

Although the original portrait of my father burned, he held my hand and said that he would hang my father’s portrait on the vacant spot the day when my father clears his name.

I think it was then when I thought he might be okay. I didn’t think I could love him, but I believed that I could walk with him, and I did my best.

“…Do you want to say that I was not qualified as a wife?”

It was a blasphemy to say that I was not qualified as a wife.

As Creighton regained its past glory, people started treating me as before, but I didn’t feel happy at all. I found their behavior of acting as if nothing had happened disgusting.

Even so, I never once shirked my role.

I took on all the household chores as a hostess, endured unpleasant glances and never stopped socializing. Baker may have increased Creighton’s assets, but it was thanks to me that he was recognized in the social world as Duke Creighton.

I can affirm that I did my best for anything related to Creighton.

“What I’m saying is not that……”

Baker quickly turned his head.

I looked at him insistently.

“If not, then what is it?”

“It was a word said in a fit of anger. Just ignore it.”

“It wasn’t anger, but what you had been holding in. Tell me. Properly. Honestly. What did you think of me before I lost my memory?”

When I sharpened my words, wrinkles formed on Baker’s tense chin. He sighed deeply after a long silence, realizing that I would not give up.

“I swear, you were a wonderful wife. It’s just……”

“Just?”

“It was only up to there.”

Bake, speaking of such matters, looked uncomfortable yet strangely relieved. Was it just my imagination? He scratched his chin a few times before opening his mouth again.

“You were the perfect hostess of Craiton, a good wife, but you did not love me. Because to you, I was never a man.”

“Is that your reason?”

“See. You don’t understand.”

Bake’s eyes flicked up and quickly returned to their usual position. It was only a fleeting moment.

But it remained clear in my memory. It was the first time Bake had made such a face at me.

“Don’t look at me with those eyes. Whenever you do, I feel like I’m about to go crazy.”

“What’s wrong with my eyes?”

“What’s wrong with them? They’re like the eyes of a proud noble lady looking down on the son of a lowly merchant.”

“……”