“Of course, I failed. Because I didn’t know how to tie it properly, the knot came loose.”

“…”

“Nevertheless, the memory of that moment remains vivid, haunting me until now. It’s as if it’s telling me not to forget everything, to dwell on my sins. That’s why I couldn’t even die.”

Every time I felt the rapid heartbeat beyond the tender flesh around my neck, the fact that I was alone hit me anew.

So, as painful as it was, paradoxically, that agony kept me alive. The pain of squeezing my throat felt like it was saying I didn’t even deserve to die, making it impossible for me to attempt suicide anymore.

Beck visiting me was around that time. His promise to restore my family’s honor felt like a beacon in the darkness.

Contemplating Beck’s proposal, I made a solemn vow. To reclaim my lost father’s honor and restore everything to its rightful place.

After that commitment, I pursued perfection even more, putting in endless effort.

I didn’t want to fail again, nor did I want to regret.

Thus began the perfect married life.

Beck, having successfully settled the debt of Creighton, paid a substantial compensation to the royal family, and subsequently, he acknowledged my status for the next lordship. With me as his front, he also made a smooth debut in high society.

Since it was a marriage without love, based on mutual agreement and conditions, it was clean. As long as each of us played our roles well, there were no problems. At least, that’s what I thought.

Until I got used to my husband’s affection and embraced our daughter.

The married life began with a sense of guilt about my family and an obligation named Creighton, more than any emotional connection. I had no intention of exchanging emotions, nor did I want to.

I was not meant to be happy.

However, many things happened during the long married life. Despite pretending otherwise, the warmth from the newly formed family felt truly pleasant. I wanted to protect that happiness.

Now, even that has become a thing of the past.

“I’m still alive because I couldn’t die.”

I paused for a moment. This was something I had never told anyone.

“I will die.”

“Libby.”

To be precise, I had thoughts of dying once everything was over. First, after regaining my father’s honor and now, after finishing my daughter’s revenge.”

“Revenge for your daughter, that’s…”

“My husband killed my daughter.”

Whether it was an entirely unexpected answer or not, my brother’s pupils shook.

I bitterly laughed. Looking at those blue eyes, similar to mine, I recalled someone else.

Like the time I remembered the departed family members while looking into Meriel’s eyes.

“I wanted to live after meeting my husband and having a daughter. Not just to survive, but to truly live properly. But now, that’s impossible.”

“…”

“If you feel the slightest bit sorry for someone like me, please don’t tell me to leave. Please.”

The last words were more of a plea than a proclamation.
I screamed, gripping my brother’s hand violently. I had decided not to cry anymore, but once the tears started flowing, I couldn’t help it.

“What are you looking at?”

“There’s news I’ve been waiting for, so I’m eagerly anticipating when it will arrive.”

“News you’ve been waiting for?”

“It’s about time. Unfortunately, it seems today is not the day.”

Luzen closed the window and turned his body. The man’s lips, which were reflected in the glass just a moment ago, turned upward towards the ceiling as he turned his body, and by the time he completely turned, his smile was so gentle that it made the straight line he had drawn while turning seem dull.

“You’ve gained some weight.”

“Ah, well…”

“I’m not trying to make it difficult for you. In fact, it looks good on you.”

“…”

“Having a decent amount of flesh is more attractive than being too thin. Of course, to talk about a plump figure to Lady Fischer would require you to gain a lot more weight.”

I’ll have to speak separately to the chef responsible for you.

Luzen joked with a wink. Margaret was surprised and her eyes widened. A faint blush tinged her earlobes.

“Lady Fischer still seems like a girl. Someone might think I want to devour you when they see me.”

“S-sorry.”

“No need to apologize. Honestly, to me, that appearance is even more pleasing. It’s, how should I say, different. I’m not sure what to call it. But it really doesn’t have a bad meaning. Just a bit…”

Luzen repeated a few fake coughs and then glanced sideways. Even in the meantime, he didn’t miss the slight fluttering of Margaret’s eyelashes.

Originally, the young emperor was accustomed to such things.

My father, who brought in a woman who would become my stepmother, and my mother, who manipulated and controlled such a husband, were not ordinary people. Although my mother had never hugged her young son even once, she properly taught him the survival tactics. Being able to sit in this position, surpassing his half-brothers, was ultimately thanks to that instruction.