Russell was always solid and calm. It made her think that perhaps only such people should survive. She was too weak and careless to survive.

“How did you endure it? Administrative officer preparation must involve being cooped up all day studying books.”

“Everyone lives that way.”

At Summer’s calm reply, this time Russell furrowed his brow.

“That world seems quite harsh.”

“…You think so?”

“You always hold back when speaking about that world. From what I hear, it doesn’t seem any less harsh than this one.”

It was true. It felt like badmouthing my world to the people of this world.

Above all, it wasn’t all bad. As Russell said, the world was harsh, but Summer loved the people in it.

Even if the world strangled my neck, the person next to me didn’t strangle me.

Things changed a bit while preparing for exams and competing. Competition made me mistakenly think it was the person next to me strangling my neck, not society.

That thought ultimately made Summer, the soul in the study room, exhausted.

“Summer.”

“I’ve been wondering why I wanted to go back to that world so badly. Constantly.”

“…”

“And I realized something. The days I thought were all the same weren’t actually the same. The rising sun and the stars in the sky are different every day.”

So we end up living a different day every day. I had forgotten that.

Summer lost more meaning in living and became obsessed with the need to return.

“Do you still want to go back?”

“I want to go back. I left regrets and lingering attachments there.”

Summer gave a pitiful smile.

The memories were fading now. It felt like the world kept reshaping Summer’s memories to its liking.

She couldn’t remember what her room that was so shocking looked like, or the box.

She couldn’t remember her mother’s crying face either, so at night she would curl up at the edge of the bed and try to hold back tears of sorrow.

As time passed, memories of the original world became jumbled, as if someone had splattered paint on them.

If only she could go back. If she could turn back time like the gods of this world and return to that day and moment.

“In a world with spirit power, isn’t there a way to turn back time?”

“…”

“Of course not, haha. That was a silly thing to say.”

Summer awkwardly added to lighten the mood and walked through the garden. The twilight garden was strangely lonely.

Summer didn’t know what meaning those words held for Russell.

If she had only known what expression Russell wore behind her back, she certainly would not have said such things to him.

“Summer.”

“Yes?”

Summer turned at Russell’s call.

“Is this world fiction to you?”

“It’s the world I read about. Though the original story has been quite distorted, shall I tell you about it?”

“…”

Summer felt relieved every time she conversed with Russell. Who else could she say such things to besides Fei or Mary?

Above all, he was the person by her side at this lowest point of her fall.

If we had met in another world, if she had at least forgotten the memory of dying in her original world and coming here.

Summer might have become a lady-in-waiting chasing after Russell.

“The Emperor will pass away soon.”

“…What?”

Russell furrowed his brow. The Emperor was in good health. That was a fact Russell knew best, entering and leaving the palace daily.

“There will be a fight over who becomes the next Emperor, and Julian will try to put Ian on the throne.”

“You mean the Dudley family’s daughter?”

Was there something special about the Dudley family’s daughter? No matter how much he thought about it, Russell’s memory of the Dudley family’s daughter was hazy.

It wasn’t a bad impression, but she didn’t seem particularly outstanding either.

“Yes. When the Emperor passes, who would be qualified to become Emperor? Lancaster of military power, Bertrand of politics, and Legacy of capital.”

Russell finally put his hand to his forehead at the last name that followed.

The Legacy ducal family.

They were the leader of the noble faction that Russell found most troublesome.

Their terrible daughter love was famous, but Russell could assert that it wasn’t love.

Ferotia Legacy appeared to be a proud noble on the surface, but to Russell, she seemed on edge, anxious and impatient.

Rather, he thought the Legacy family might be plotting something by putting their daughter forward.

“You’ll also join hands with Julian to support Duke Ian Lancaster for the throne.”

“…”

“Shall I make another prediction?”

“So, what happens?”

“Julian becomes Emperor.”

“The Dudley family’s daughter?”

What nonsense. Russell’s eyes widened. Summer held back a laugh at Russell’s expression she had never seen before. Her cheeks puffed up and her lips pursed involuntarily.

“Does the creator not consider plausibility?”

“Haha, there is some plausibility. Though it’s a bit forced. Duke Lancaster will make it happen.”

“Ian?”

“Yes. Surprising, isn’t it?”

Summer burst out laughing. Russell’s expression was so unexpected. Russell stood there with a blank, surprised face.

It was the first time seeing him so dumbfounded, and Summer wished she could take a picture to preserve the moment forever.

“Ah, what a shame. If I had a camera, I could have captured that expression for eternity.”

Camera? Russell’s expression changed to round surprise, but soon returned to his usual indifferent face.

“Keep it in your mind. That’s enough, isn’t it?”

“People forget, you know.”

“Then it wasn’t that important.”

How cold. Summer muttered exaggeratedly. Russell silently began walking again.

To Summer, it felt like he was trying to run away, so she burst out laughing again.

“I wonder if my memories of my original world are disappearing because they’re not important?”

“That’s divine intervention, isn’t it?”

Summer was clearly speaking brightly, but it felt more broken than bright.

“I don’t know. Maybe I want to use the god as an excuse to run away from what I’ve done.”

“…”

Russell turned his head. Summer was still smiling as she gazed at the setting sun.

One setting sun, one crumbling soul, and one person who couldn’t take his eyes off the person falling apart.

“If it’s all my responsibility and my fault this time too, I want to end it all again. So I’m trying to use even god as an excuse. Why do you give me such trials, I pray.”

Summer put her hands together in a praying gesture. She was still smiling brightly, but that aspect made her seem even more precarious.

“Summer.”

“Yes, Russell.”

“You are not at fault.”

“…”

Russell’s straight eyes fully captured Summer. This man standing under the blazing sun felt more radiant than the sun itself to Summer.

“Not living well is not a sin. Even people who live by extorting, deceiving, and trampling on others are fine, so I don’t understand why you condemn yourself.”

“I, well… That’s…”

Tears welled up suddenly, but Summer bit her lip hard, trying her best to hold back her sobs.

And Russell, as if sensing Summer’s feelings, deliberately turned his back.

“You don’t need a reason for wanting to go back. It’s only natural for people to miss their homeland. And if that homeland is in a state you can’t return to, it’s natural to be sad.”

“…”

“It’s not strange, Summer. So let your feelings flow naturally. If you don’t, emotions will build up, rot, and even damage your body.”

Summer was confused. His words clearly had the power to stir her. She knew his words were right.

But she didn’t know why his words made her more painful and agonized the more she heard them.

Perhaps it was because her pathetic state, fallen into the mire of depression and emptiness, seemed so ridiculous in front of his brilliantly shining self.

“You know, Russell. I saw in the prayer room.”

“What did you see?”

“Me, dead. And my mother crying.”

“…”

“But… What my mother said was a bit strange. It seems I didn’t die from being sick.”

“…Summer.”

Russell instinctively tried to stop Summer’s words. But it was already too late.

Summer was now fully exposing the cracks in her soul that she had tried so hard to hide.

The feelings she had buried and covered with soil again, trying to conceal.

“Why did I do that? When I want to go back so badly. When I miss it so much. When I have… so many lingering attachments. I wanted to pass the exam. I wanted to be a child my parents could be proud of, I wanted to meet the world’s expectations, I wanted to live an ordinary office life and give my parents allowance money.”

“…”

Russell felt like covering his ears. It felt like he was hearing something he shouldn’t hear.

Could he handle it? Would the day come when he, who had never experienced death, could understand and bear the pain of her who had experienced death?

“I wanted to save up bit by bit and buy my own home, and then I wanted to decorate my own space prettily at least once. I really had so many things I wanted to do…”

“Summer. Just cry instead. That would be better.”

Russell approached Summer, trying to embrace and calm her. But Summer gently stopped Russell and looked up at him.

“But why did I do it? It feels like I could achieve all that now, so why?”

“Summer. Stop, stop…”

Summer’s eyes were already out of her mind. Her empty eyes were so piercingly blue that they felt rather hollow.

“I want to turn back time. Just once, just one time I want to turn back time! Please!”

“Summer!”

“Is this peace, Russell? Then is this the afterlife where dead people come? Is this heaven or hell?”

“…”

“I’m in agony. I can’t love this world! I want to go back, Russell. You’re smart, right?”

“Summer, calm down…”

Russell quickly embraced Summer tightly without any gaps. There was no other way. He could only hold her with all his might until her sobs subsided.

It was when Summer’s wailing subsided and her tired hands fell limply.

“My lord, my lord!”

An aide who came running urgently stopped in front of Russell, gasping for breath.

“What is it?”

“Du-Duke Legacy has come to visit! He said it’s urgent…”

“Tell him to go back. How rude.”

Russell replied sarcastically as he lifted the unconscious Summer.

“He, he said he brought the real culprit of the hunting competition…”

That changes things. Russell irritably loosened his tie with one hand as he brushed past the aide.

“Ha. To the reception room. I’ll be there soon.”

“Yes, understood.”