I was so startled by the low voice coming from behind me that my breath caught in my throat.

As I stood frozen in place, Reus’s shadow fell over me and his face came into view.

“Were you surprised?”

“……”

“I thought you would have heard me knock.”

“You… knocked.”

“If I startled you, I apologize.”

“No…! It was me who was lost in thought, so…”

Actually, I wanted to ask why he didn’t turn on the lights when he came in, but I just let it go for now.

I thought I should turn on the lights myself, so I headed towards the door. As I turned on the lights and looked back, Reus had followed me at some point and naturally took my hand, leading me to the table.

It was so natural, like flowing water, that I almost let it pass.

‘Did he make contact with me even though no one is watching right now?’

Since the wedding, we haven’t even talked much when it was just the two of us. No, we haven’t even made much eye contact.

As I was thinking that, Reus, who had seated me back in the chair, took a seat right next to me.

“So what did you want to ask me?”

“I didn’t say anything…”

I tried to brush it off, but Reus already seemed to have realized that my mumbling was a question related to him.

Since it’s come to this, let’s just change the subject.

“More importantly! I’ve decided. About the gift…”

Fortunately, Reus let it slide even though he knew, nodding his head as if to hear what gift I wanted.

“Books.”

There was no answer, just a heavy silence that lasted for a long time. Feeling the unmistakable sense of rejection, I hastily added.

“No…! Not just one book, but many… many books, that’s what I mean.”

“Many.”

“Yes… I get really bored doing nothing, and I originally love to read books.”

I thought about it, and it seemed like Reus didn’t simply want to give me a birthday present, but also wanted to show his sincerity as a way of repaying a favor.

That’s why he reacted very lukewarmly to the luggage bag story, as it felt like too small of a repayment for him.

So this time, I raised the price range and told him.

“Alright. Books… many. But how are you going to carry them all to Belliata?”

“……”

I hadn’t thought about that. Was I supposed to carry them?

“…Then just a few books…”

“It’s fine.”

Why does he sigh as if he expected this…!

“I’ll buy you many, so read a lot and as for the gift…”

Reus had a frustrated expression on his face, as if asking what’s the point of asking what I want.

It was the first time he openly expressed his personal feelings like this, other than showing anger or displeasure, so it was a bit surprising.

But that expression of giving up… It strangely hurt my pride.

‘What can I do if there’s nothing to ask for…’

Do I really need to receive a gift? The money steadily accumulating in my account even now is more than enough.

I tried to subtly say that, but before I could, the perceptive Reus spoke first.

“When you want something, whether it’s material or a favor or anything, I’ll change it to granting that instead.”

“A favor?”

“Yes, a favor.”

So it’s like a wish then?

‘If anything is possible, shouldn’t it include things like exemption coupons? Like not getting angry when you’re mad or not receiving gifts… Something like that.’

I raised my eyes to ask what’s possible from where to where. Reus answered before I even asked.

“Of course, those trivial things you’re thinking of are not included.”

“…I haven’t said anything yet…”

“Your thoughts are all over your face, so you should have hidden them better.”

I wanted to argue back, but I had nothing else to say.

Just then, Reus placed something on the table. It was a very old-looking, faded key.

“What is this key for?”

“It’s the key to the library.”

“……”

Feeling a bit betrayed, I glared at Reus timidly.

‘So you already knew what I was curious about, but you pretended not to know and asked.’

“I’m sorry for knowing about this in advance too.”

“Don’t apologize for every little thing like that…”

“Yes.”

“…Did you just laugh?”

“No. I didn’t laugh.”

I was sure he snickered, but?

Reus answered with such a straight face that I couldn’t doubt him any further.

For now, I put aside my suspicions and turned my eyes to the key. When Roteo smiled awkwardly as if there was a big story behind it, I thought I should be careful when bringing it up…

‘I can’t believe I’m getting the key this easily.’

It was a good thing, but strangely, instead of feeling happy, I was worried first.

Did I ask for no reason? Somehow, I keep getting the feeling that Roteo wouldn’t have reacted like that without any reason.

‘It was definitely a subtle reaction that was difficult to explain in words…’

As I just held the key and fiddled with it, Reus spoke.

“I don’t know what Roteo said, but there was no particular reason for closing the library. So don’t feel burdened.”

Right. Seeing Reus readily hand over the key like this, even if there is a reason, it must not be serious.

Although Roteo’s expression still bothered me, I quickly smiled.

“I’ll keep the key you gave me well so I don’t lose it. Thank you, Reus.”

* * *

The next day, I headed to the library after lunch to use the key.

As I inserted the key into the lock, it just kept turning in vain, making rough metallic sounds as if to prove that it had been tightly closed for many years.

Since there was no sign of it opening, I had to turn the key this way and that for a long time before I finally succeeded in unlocking it.

I gently opened the wooden door with peeling paint here and there and entered, revealing a lobby with a high ceiling.

“Wow…”

Although the exterior looked a bit old, weathered by the years, the interior of the library was not like that at all.

The spacious lobby with marble flooring clearly showed that someone had poured their heart into decorating it, with attention to detail evident even in the smallest places.

I walked past the large lobby to the door leading into the library. And as soon as I opened the door, the stale air rushed in.

I thought it would need to be cleaned separately, but there was a reason why Reus silently handed over the key without saying a word.

‘He must have cast a preservation spell.’

Everything inside the library felt as if time had stopped just before it was closed.

The dark wooden floor with traces of people walking on it here and there. The books that were left unorganized in the middle of the aisle.

The large wooden desk that seemed to carry the scent of sunlight. Even the sunlight that filled the gaps between the bookshelves at the same time every day.

There was nothing particularly grand, but it felt uniquely special compared to the other spaces in the ducal castle.

Perhaps it was because of the affection of someone, unlike the spaces in the ducal castle that were left neglected?

Forgetting that I had come to read books, I quietly strolled through the large interior of the library.

The library, which had an imposing size from the exterior, was divided into a total of three floors. So it took quite a lot of time to look around every corner from the 1st floor to the 3rd floor.

However, I didn’t feel bored at all.

As I walked along the walls that subtly changed for each section, I could see the traces of different touches left on the spines of the books, which was a small source of enjoyment.

And as I followed that, I would reach hidden places here and there, and whenever that happened, I made sure to sit down at least once.

Just sitting still, the cozy sunlight and the picturesque scenery outside the window made me feel good.

After wandering around the library interior for a while, I found a staircase leading to the upper floor on the 3rd floor.

The places where people frequently stepped and climbed were discolored brightly, as if someone had walked up there often.

I also slowly climbed the stairs, stepping on those traces. Then, a small space with an entirely glass ceiling appeared.

It seemed to be the space under the glass dome that I saw from a distance.

This place was decorated like a cozy room. It wasn’t just the feeling.

Should I say it looked like… someone’s hidden hideout?

The blanket neatly folded on the sofa and the pillow placed on top of it. The slightly messy white papers and pens scattered on the floor. And the crayons of various colors…

Right behind where the crayons were placed, there were a bunch of papers stuck on the wall.

They were all drawings by someone, and the lines crossing the paper had an unskilled touch that anyone could see.

I sat on the sofa that seemed perfect for viewing the drawings and looked at them one by one.

Three people standing side by side in front of a building painted in gold, seemingly representing the imperial palace. Parents and a brightly smiling child.

Most of the drawings depicted harmonious family scenes with backgrounds such as the white rose garden on the west side of the ducal castle and places that could be seen in various parts of the ducal castle.

The places, the colors of the clothes, the actions, and such were all different, but the emotions felt from the drawings were all the same.

The pure love for parents. The harmless and infinite happiness the child felt at that time.

As I slowly looked around the drawings, my gaze was caught by a particularly brightly smiling child.

The child with silver hair was holding the hands of the parents tightly, wearing the happiest expression in the world.

Probably the child who drew this picture.

‘It must be Reus…’

For the current Reus to exist, his childhood must have naturally existed as well. But before I saw the drawing, I wasn’t aware of that fact.

‘When he was young… he was really bright.’

The fact that he had these moments and has cherished them until now was definitely a good thing. But strangely, just looking at it made my throat tighten.

It seemed to be because the gap between the innocently drawn child in vivid colors and the current Reus felt too vast.

What kind of experiences does a person have to go through to change so much that it’s impossible to even imagine they had a childhood like this?

What did he lose, how many precious things did he give up to get here, and with what mindset did he endure all of that? I couldn’t even fathom it, so it hurt my heart even more.

I couldn’t leave that space for a long time.