“This is your room, isn’t it?”

It was the marital bedroom they had shared continuously since the contract. But Roel spoke stiffly, as if she had never thought of it that way before.

“The uncomfortable person should leave. I’ll vacate the space for you. Stay comfortable, Reus.”

Uncomfortable person. That word pierced Reus’s heart.

Roel seemed to be referring to herself, but it was a statement about him.

He had always tried not to feel that way. But he was still an uncomfortable presence to the woman. If he had opened his heart a little faster, if he had put in just a little more effort, would things have been different?

Soon the sound of the door closing was heard. Strangely, that sound seemed to say that the result would have been the same no matter what.

If she’s uncomfortable even seeing me, there’s nothing more I can do.

Afraid of being abandoned if he held on, Reus stood blankly in front of the line Roel had drawn, waiting endlessly for the woman.

After leaving the bedroom like that, Roel shut herself in the library whenever she had the chance. It was because Reus didn’t approach her after she had explicitly said she didn’t want to be disturbed while reading.

It could be called a tacit agreement between them.

To spend time together during meals and sleep, but for Roel to have time alone while reading.

Instead, she stopped working. It was unavoidable due to Reus abandoning his office and constantly coming to find her with ridiculous excuses.

So now she only spent short moments with Reus, but even that was too painful for Roel.

The guilt grew bigger as days passed. And when it became unbearable, she wanted to say more than once to please leave her alone.

But Roel endured.

Probably if she said something unpleasant, the man would just follow her around using that conversation as an excuse.

Today too, Roel sat in a chair in the corner of the library’s third floor, hugging her legs. The book didn’t even register in her eyes anyway.

Soon, Roel leaned her forehead on her knees as if collapsing, throwing all of herself into the silence.

But remembering Reus who had held her earlier naturally creased her brow.

“Can’t we just go together to the front of the library…?”

“There’s no need for that.”

“Still…”

“Go now, Reus. I’ll be going too.”

Reus, who had followed a few steps behind Roel as she turned and headed towards the library, stopped. And until she was completely gone, no sound came from behind.

She couldn’t comfort him by saying sorry for pushing him away like this, nor could she push him away harshly enough to make him give up.

Roel found every moment she was going through now too painful.

Right now, the words “I want to leave” were rising to her throat, choking her. Yet the reason she couldn’t say anything was simple.

It was obvious that Reus wouldn’t let her go without hearing the reason, but she didn’t want to bring up the story of her father. And decisively, it seemed Reus would say everything was fine even after hearing the reason.

That’s what Roel feared the most.

‘I should have left a little earlier…’

Looking back, there were many opportunities to leave. But the kindness of people she first received at the Grand Duke’s castle and the man’s love were so welcome that she kept putting it off, and she was the one who caused this trouble.

So she should accept the pain that has come upon her now. But every time she saw Reus, she felt suffocated and ran away, ending up transferring her pain to the man as well.

Roel buried her head on her knees again.

But then footsteps were heard from afar. The heavy footsteps seemed to wander for a moment, then gradually got closer.

“Roel.”

Again. A plaintive voice as if he had been looking for her all day. A loving voice that she could no longer welcome.

When Roel didn’t answer, Reus knelt on one knee to lower his body.

“Roel… Won’t you lift your head for a moment?”

“…”

“I’m worried if you’re hurting somewhere.”

“…I’m not.”

The brief answer was clearly a substitute for asking him to leave. The man surely understood, but he pretended not to hear and stayed in place.

She waited, thinking he would leave if she ignored him, but Reus remained kneeling on one knee, waiting for her to lift her head.

Finally, Roel spoke in a tired voice.

“I told you I want to be alone when reading.”

Roel gave the man an obvious lie, making him uncomfortable, without even placing a single book nearby.

“Now is…”

Reus, unable to point that out, trailed off, and an uncomfortable silence continued.

Foolish man. He just kept waiting for her, not even minding if his leg hurt. Roel slowly raised her head and looked at Reus.

His face, brightening with color, looked very tired.

While worried… she disliked it. What was there to brag about losing sleep because the daughter of the person who killed her parents was gone?

The man’s rough face brought an unnecessary rebellious feeling to the mind that had intended to send him away kindly.

“I want to be alone.”

“…”

“So please leave now.”

How could asking to be left alone be so heartbreaking? Reus unconsciously smiled bitterly at the sight of Roel, who now seemed to have no intention of even hiding her desire to reject him.

“Roel.”

But after uttering the woman’s name, his patience crumbled rapidly. He could hardly manage his expression, and his voice trembled unsightly.

“If I’ve done something wrong, please tell me. I’ll fix anything.”

It was Roel who had acted coldly without saying anything. But Reus apologized as if even that was his fault.

Roel wanted to cry.

She was sorry that Reus was so kind no matter how harshly she acted, and also… she resented him.

Although Reus was not at all to blame for her guilt, strangely, she resented the man. She resented that he hadn’t said anything until she fell in love, even though he knew everything.

She really resented Reus for being so good to her even though he knew she was the daughter of the person who killed his parents.

No. In fact, Roel felt like she would go crazy with how much she hated herself.

The root cause that drove Reus’s parents to death. Because she was the daughter of Count Ibelle. Because she was ashamed of the days she had dared to hate the man while bearing the name of Ibelle.

And because the days of laughing carelessly by the man’s side while bearing the name of Rochester were so dreadful.

“Roel, I’ll really fix everything. So-”

“Please…! Please, can’t you just leave me alone?”

The resentment was directed at her own existence, but it seemed the one most hurt was the man who stiffened in front of her.

“I want to be alone…”

But at Roel’s voice mixed with tears, Reus soon became restless. And as if being punished for not leaving, an emotionless voice was heard.

“I want to leave.”

“…”

“Please let me go now.”

Finally, the problem they had been avoiding surfaced. Now neither of them could back down. Roel decided that if Reus asked for the reason, she would tell him everything and then leave.

Even if it meant dying after leaving the safe enclosure, she didn’t want to drag Reus to death here.

But the man, only moving his lips, repeated the same words as if he hadn’t heard.

“If… if I’ve made a mistake, I’ll apologize. It’s because I’m clumsy, so please understand with a generous heart. If you just tell me, I can really fix it… If you just tell me what I did wrong…”

“Then stop coming to find me like this from now on.”

But in the fight between the two, Roel had the upper hand.

“No, just please let me go. Can’t you just let me go as promised?”

“Roel…”

“Don’t… don’t even call my name.”

Roel, who had struggled to continue speaking, soon lowered her head. The woman now seemed to find it horrific just to look at him.

“Don’t call me like that, just… just please let me go, Reus…”

Does she dislike being by my side that much? At Roel’s reproachful tone, Reus barely suppressed a silent cry.

What on earth did the Emperor say to make her push him away like this?

He wanted to ask, but Reus swallowed his words again, along with his melancholy. He had to kill all his emotions and curiosity. Only then could he shamelessly hold on.

Soon Reus took both of Roel’s hands and pleaded sorrowfully.

“Anything but that… I’ll do anything but that. I’m sorry for saying to tell me anything and then refusing. But leaving… please reconsider, Roel…”

Roel didn’t move at all, whether she was listening to him or not.

“Roel, I’m really sorry for being selfish. It’s all my fault. So can’t you tell me something else besides asking me not to hold onto you…?”

“…Will you really do anything as long as I don’t leave?”

“Yes, I’ll do anything you want.”

Anything, as long as she doesn’t leave. At the timidly added words, Roel met Reus’s eyes. Then she spoke in an empty voice.

“Then don’t come looking for me like this anymore, and don’t call my name incessantly.”

“…”

“If you have no intention of letting me go, don’t mind whatever I do from now on.”

She asked him not to even think of calling her name or meeting her eyes while in the same space. It was practically no different from saying she would leave.

But Reus thought it was enough just to have received confirmation that she wouldn’t leave.

It was no different than saying there was still mercy left for him from the woman. He believed that if he tried harder in the meantime, it would be fine.

Even if they might never recover the relationship they had before, Reus was okay with that too.

As long as the woman remains by his side. Just that alone was enough for him to somehow endure and live on.

After all, it was he who forcibly held onto someone who wanted to leave. He should be grateful that she remains by his insignificant side.

“I’d like you to leave now.”

“I understand. I’ll do that. From now on… I won’t bother you, Roel.”

And so Reus quietly left the library without even being able to hand over the blanket he had brought.

As Roel slowly raised her head, her eyes fell on the blanket placed on the floor. It wasn’t there before Reus came.

The blanket left alone on the cold floor felt like Reus’s heart that she had pushed away, and she couldn’t take her eyes off it. Roel, who had tried to hold back tears by biting her lower lip, finally burst into tears.