His voice was plump.

What a nuisance. Of all times to throw a cushion!

“No, no. I was trying to close the window…”

As Kaidel Gongja entered the room, he made an effort to compose his expression and cleared his throat.

It seemed like he was trying not to show any displeasure towards me, but the more he tried, the more I felt like I was sitting on thorns.

Even though he saved me today, treating me with such disrespect. How much more will he look down on me?

“Sigh.”

Suddenly, fatigue overwhelmed me. The accumulated fatigue from waiting for him, the fatigue piled up from the beating I took, and the fatigue from this bewildering situation…

As I let out a deep sigh, he approached and stood, furrowing his brows gracefully.

Such a beautiful frown; he is capable of such a thing.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m still alive.”

I replied plumply and lowered my head again.

“No, I lived thanks to you. Again… Empress Pyeha seemed really determined to finish me off earlier.”

As I mumbled hesitantly, Kaidel Gongja’s expression darkened.

“I had to step forward just in case, so please don’t misunderstand it in any other way.”

I was about to say, ‘Why go to such lengths to help me? What do you want in return later?’ but the word ‘necessarily’ choked me.

“Anyway, thank you.”

Although his expression showed he wasn’t pleased with my casual attitude, he nodded lightly in response to my gratitude.

At times like this, he seems genuinely polite, but why do they all do such mysterious things usually?

Only now did he glance at my bed, and I reflexively pulled the blanket up to my chin. As I did, he seemed a little embarrassed and averted his gaze unnecessarily.

“Should I get a cushion for you?”

“Oh, yes. Please.”

He brought a cushion and tried to hand it to me, but instead, he just hugged it and sat on the chair next to my bed.

… Even if I take that, I won’t throw it anywhere.

“Empress Pyeha confronted Agael’s envoy twice. It seems like the deal might go through.”

“Ah…”

Under Kaidel Gongja’s penetrating gaze, I felt as if holes were being drilled into my face. So I ended up looking at the ceiling, then at the wall for no reason.

“May I ask for an explanation about this incident?”

“As you saw…”

“Loar Yang.”

With his wooden-like tone, I effortlessly began to speak.

“I advised Princess Hwanyeo to oppose it… But Agael is an enemy, considering both the military and domestic affairs.”

“…”

“But just before the competition started, His Highness Orel whispered to Princess Miliora. She seemed shocked.”

“It seems that His Highness Orel touched Princess Hwanyeo’s pride.”

“That seems to be the case. So, she got angry and…”

Without realizing, I spoke frankly.

“I really don’t know what to do.”

“…”
Usually, Kaidel Gongja would retort something, but he was silent this time. Glancing at him, he was staring at me intently.

His expression seemed to convey both dislike and bewilderment.

“Adapting to the temperament of Tagar isn’t easy, Loar Yang.”

“Yes. After receiving about forty blows from a mace, I understand.”

I forced an awkward laugh, and he furrowed his brows even more.

His face is distractingly handsome.

As I turned my gaze away, he suddenly expanded his face as if making a joke.

“I heard you had a meal with Prince Grelan?”

As I sighed heavily, he looked at me curiously.

“Come to think of it, I’m going through a crisis every day. At this rate, I don’t know if I’ll survive here…”

“What will you do if you leave the palace?”

I looked at him sadly and said, “It’s a secret.”

“It’s not about being an herbalist. I want to know that secret too.”

Normally, I might have been irritated by his provocation, but today, I didn’t have the energy, and only laughter came out.

“I’ll tell you the destination. You have to come to collect my debt.”

He stretched his long legs and crossed his ankles. It was a gesture that seemed like he was relaxing in his own room, letting down his guard.

Although he is my benefactor, we are not friends, but seeing him comfortably seeking help made me annoyed for no reason.

He asked, “Do you regret entering the palace?”

“I don’t really want to answer that.”

“Let’s split my debt a little.”

“Wow, you’re merciless.”

“I can be that way.”

I let out a deep sigh.

“I often think about it too. What am I doing here?”

He chuckled.

I always envied the resilience he possessed, a type of strength I had not yet experienced, whatever it might be.

“But the reason I endure is ultimately one more thing. To prepare for old age.”

As I spoke, Kaidel Gongja’s eyes twinkled. Then, as I mentioned ‘old age,’ wrinkles formed on his forehead.

Well, what would he know? He already has the honor and wealth to use even his grandson.

“Old age?”

“Unmarried women can only choose between being a nun or a governess. Since I’m not close to God, I chose the latter. Governess from a servant background can receive the best treatment, right? At least, that way, I can offset my weakness as an illegitimate child…”

“I see.”