Spent the First Night with the Male Lead, Thinking I Was Terminal (10 Chapters Left to Complete) - Chapter 5
Obern wondered where he was going at this hour, concerned about the danger.
Admon silenced Obern with a single icy stare.
He still had things left to say to Clea once he awoke.
It wasn’t about forcing her to sign some pointless contract.
‘Why am I so irritated?’
Admon Wilhelm, the Emperor’s only child, had his future secured from birth.
With no rivals among the imperial family capable of challenging him for the throne, the nobles still regarded him as a threat.
Without any blood relatives to oppose him, he would wield unprecedented power upon ascending the throne.
That was precisely what the nobles feared.
Throughout history, emperors had sought to strip power from the nobility, and the nobles, in turn, had always resisted to protect their own authority.
Admon’s emergence at such a time made him a calamity in the eyes of the nobles.
While some sought to curry favor with him in anticipation of his immense future power, many others had already begun secretly uniting, preparing for the day his reign would strengthen imperial authority beyond their control.
Admon found their efforts laughable and paid them little mind.
Whether they banded together or tried to restrain him, it would all be meaningless once he ascended the throne.
In that sense, unlike other emperors, he didn’t need to rush into marriage.
He had no particular interest in anyone, nor did he wish to trouble himself by favoring any noble house.
Thus, just when he thought he could simply wait for the right moment, a variable appeared in Admon’s life.
‘Tell me to pretend I was bitten by a dog? Hah, damn it.’
Having slept away nearly half a day due to exhaustion after his guard finally dropped, Admon sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.
If he’d woken earlier, he wouldn’t have let her leave so easily.
At the very least, he intended to hold onto her and talk—just as he had with Clea during their time together.
About what they should do from here on.
His words telling her not to regret it weren’t meant to dismiss their night together as mere fleeting pleasure.
“I wonder what would happen if I visited the Odoi Ducal residence right now.”
Thanks to his order for Obern to keep his distance, no one overheard his muttered words.
Had Obern heard them, he would have dropped to his knees right then and there to block Admon’s path.
The Odoi family was among the few noble houses openly rivaling the Emperor, and Obern would have stood against Admon even if it meant a blade at his throat.
Heading to their estate now would be like walking straight into enemy territory.
Given how much attention it would draw, it would be nothing but a nuisance.
‘What should I do?’
Admon slowly paced the streets.
Whenever he needed to clear his thoughts, Admon enjoyed taking walks outside the palace.
Stepping away from familiar surroundings and strolling among unfamiliar streets and passersby always helped resolve his dilemmas.
That was why he was walking along the roadside now, sorting through his thoughts.
His gaze fell absently on a bridge, and he halted.
“…Clea Odoi?”
He stared at the figure on the bridge with disbelief.
There she stood—silver hair gleaming brighter under the moonlight, eyes as beautiful as the lake flowing beneath the bridge.
And she was looking down at the water below with pitiful eyes.
[This is the timeline separator]Clea stepped out of the house without hesitation.
She’d wanted to stop by her room on the way out to check if she needed anything,
but if she’d truly needed something, she wouldn’t have acted so impulsively in front of Grit.
She walked out with a bright smile.
Grit and Steve watched her as she passed.
One looked at her as if certain she’d return anyway; the other glared with furious disdain.
Seeing their expressions, Clea wanted to laugh right in their faces.
‘Because I have absolutely no reason to come back here anymore.’
Under their grossly mistaken assumptions, Clea kept walking.
She didn’t want to keep meeting the servants’ suspicious stares.
Even when she looked back at them, they showed no intention of respecting her—after all, she wasn’t even a princess anymore.
Others might have been angered, but Clea felt nothing.
Anger only mattered if it had meaning.
To Clea, everything—including the Odoi family—was meaningless.
The last time she’d announced her broken engagement, it was before the curse manifested, so she’d written a letter of apology. What a foolish thing to do.
Now, she felt a twinge of regret—she should have left much sooner.
‘How much time do I have left?’
She suddenly stopped and looked at the back of her hand.
The curse mark hadn’t existed a year ago.
The clock kept ticking.
After watching the relentless hands move, Clea lowered her wrist and offered a faint smile.
A body marked for death.
How had the heroine endured this?
Life in this world must have meant everything to her.
Weren’t those days filled with terror and hellish dread?
Whenever she tried to forget and just live, her heart punished her with pain, as if refusing to let her forget.
She’d tried ignoring even that pain, but each time, her heart wore thinner.
The original story had never explicitly depicted Clea Odoi’s death.
Perhaps that was why she could accept the sudden appearance of the curse mark so calmly.
Knowing it signaled her imminent end.
After all, the villainess’s death was a preordained event.
“How pretty.”
The words slipped out unconsciously as she gazed down from the bridge.
The gentle moonlight reflected on the flowing water drew out her honest admiration.
If anyone had heard, they might have glanced her way—but at this late hour, almost no one was around.
Looking down, Clea thought:
‘If I must meet my end somewhere, perhaps a place this beautiful wouldn’t be so bad.’
Her death could come at any moment.
With her fate sealed, she saw no reason to keep living in this world.
In the novel she’d once read, those who transmigrated always fought desperately to survive.
But they always had a reason.
Clea, however, had none left.
Unfamiliar places, unfamiliar people, unfamiliar stares.
Faced with injustice she’d never encountered in her real life, Clea grew to hate this world.
She even wondered if embracing death might bring her peace sooner.
“Do you remember what I said? That you’d regret it.”
At the sound of a familiar voice in her ear, Clea turned.
Lost in her own thoughts, she hadn’t noticed anyone approaching.
Slowly, she looked up—and saw a familiar man.
Black hair blending into the night, striking red eyes: unmistakably him.
“Your Highness, shouldn’t you be in the palace? What brings you here?”
She smiled.
There was no mockery or scorn in that smile.
Only pure, quiet sadness—making her look utterly forlorn.
As if she might vanish at any moment.
“And why are you here?”
Clea wanted to point out she’d asked first, but she held back for now.
Even in her foul mood, meeting someone whose presence didn’t sour her spirits felt like a small mercy.
If she’d encountered Lloyd, Grit, or Steve here, Clea would have climbed the railing without hesitation and jumped—regardless of their pleas.
But Admon before her was different from those others.
His gaze wasn’t cold or sharp as before—instead, it was gentle, yet tense with something unspoken.
Remembering last night, her mood lightened slightly.
“I left home.”
“Left home?”
“I’m no longer an Odoi, Your Highness.”
“A princess?”
He tried calling her that, but Clea gave no reaction—she wasn’t a princess anymore.
Though her eyes were unusually serious, Admon couldn’t believe it.
His mind couldn’t make sense of what had happened.
But regardless, his intentions hadn’t changed.
He slowly stepped closer to Clea.
She simply watched him approach, not stepping back.
“Do you remember what I said before? That you’d regret it.”
“If I recall correctly.”
“Then how do you feel now?”
As he spoke, Admon took her hand.
Like someone refusing to let her disappear from this place.
Clea didn’t pull away—though it hurt a little.
Still composed, she glanced at the marks she’d left on his neck.
Seeing the lingering traces of herself, she smiled.
“I don’t regret it at all.”
Admon thought:
Even if she said she regretted it now, he’d never let go of her hand.
He feared that if he released her, she’d vanish again—as she had when he awoke that morning.
Watching her calm demeanor, he felt an unfamiliar impatience stirring within him for the first time in his life.
Impatience.
Because she seemed like she might disappear at any moment.
Though she was an ordinary person with no magic, she felt as if she could vanish from his side in an instant—
just as she had that morning, gone as if she’d never existed.
“Odoi.”
“Clea.”
“Yes, Clea.”
She called her name as if to say: once was forgivable, but not twice.
As the man destined to inherit everything in the empire, she ought to answer to whatever he called her.
Yet, she wished he’d address her by name.
Admon, too, had no issue calling her by name, so he corrected himself.
“Even if you regret it later, it’s too late now.”
He pulled her hand toward himself.
The early spring night air was bitterly cold.
And her body was as cold as ice.
Admon embraced her, sharing his warmth as he spoke.
“Because I’m keeping you by my side from now on.”
Clea almost laughed at the absurdity of it all.
They’d only spent one night together—but she couldn’t deny she found Admon rather agreeable.
She’d wondered if his desire to keep her close was merely for his own amusement.
‘…But the pain feels a little duller.’
For some reason, the ache briefly faded, and she looked up at Admon before her.
In its place, her heart prickled strangely.
His red eyes remained fixed on her, just as they had been moments ago.
Clea thought:
Perhaps he was the first person in this world to look at her without hatred or mockery.
And maybe—just maybe—she still had a sliver of desire left to be loved, even by him.
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
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Chapter Comments (17)
Inline Comments (209)
“Your Highness’s lips, perhaps.”
Oooh girl…😏 She wants something else for dinner i see 🙈
At this rate, heading straight to the bedroom instead of dining was only a matte
….😏🙈 You perverts sitting in a tree k.I.S.S.I.N.G😆
He desperately wanted to shout right then and there, grab Clea’s wrist, and drag
These brute losers ….how can their duchy even functioning properly…? That’s what I wanna know
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I wonder if subconciously he knows that she is sick.
Its quite weird that his aide calls her a close friend when its quite clear that Admon barely registers her presence 🤣
Urgh …i love this …she ain’t no damsel in distress, she’s fierce….i think I’m in love