Spent the First Night with the Male Lead, Thinking I Was Terminal - Chapter 12
“Are you alright?”
Admund asked gently.
Seeing his appearance, Clea thought he seemed unlike his usual self known to the world.
Perhaps it was because he looked colder than anyone else. He was often referred to as someone who never showed any interest in others.
Thinking that people shouldn’t be judged by their outward appearance, Clea smiled her unique smile.
“Rather, are you alright?”
“What about me?”
“Even if Lloyd seems ridiculous to you, he is still the son of a grand duke family.”
“If it seems ridiculous even to you, it would be nothing to me.”
‘Empty words.’
Although it must have been a bothersome matter for him too, he prioritized Clea’s feelings above all else.
Receiving such concern after a long time, she felt a ticklish sensation near her heart.
Could it be that the pain had receded?
She briefly checked her time.
The clock hands were still turning.
But for some reason, the moving second hand seemed to be slower than usual.
‘It must be my imagination.’
Just my imagination.
Clea dismissed all of this as simply her imagination, just like before.
Although she had a similar illusion some time ago.
To her, who felt the same pain and emptiness, it was nothing more than a torturous hope.
Because in the original story, nothing like this ever happened to Aria.
When she encountered Admund, there was no description of the second hand feeling different from usual, or moving slowly.
Her story was about struggling with pain and eventually achieving true love and liberation at the end.
In that sense, the condition of “true love” was also ambiguous.
Even though there were so many people who liked her, no one except Admund could break her curse.
She was convinced that trying to discern that subtle difference would be nothing but a wasted effort. She removed her hand from her field of vision and looked at Admund.
Thanks to Admund, who prioritized her feelings, Clea felt energized even in this dark silence.
“How about having tea time?”
“I have already taken up much of your time, Your Highness. So how about sharing a cup of tea after you finish all your work, Admund?”
Seeing Clea’s smile, Admund felt slightly worried.
It was the same now. She looked precarious.
As if she might fly away somewhere.
He thought.
What exactly was their relationship?
Could his feelings really be described as “liking” her?
‘I’m already quite drawn to her though.’
Admund looked at her without sorting out his feelings.
Clea, who made eye contact with him, slowly headed towards the door.
“Then, see you later.”
He wanted to hold her back for a moment as she was leaving, but Clea’s action was faster.
‘I shouldn’t cause any more trouble.’
Thinking that she shouldn’t interfere with his time any longer, she quickly escaped and opened the door to step outside.
And as soon as she came out, she unintentionally ran into someone she didn’t want to see.
“If you’re going in, go ahead. I’m done with my business.”
* * *
Oberon couldn’t believe the current situation.
“Don’t block the way and move aside!”
“Young Master!”
Clearly, up until this morning when he saw Lloyd visiting, Oberon thought Admund would come to his senses.
Clea was someone with a fiancé.
In Oberon’s eyes, she was like a time bomb that could explode at any moment.
A time bomb that could become a stain on Admund.
He was capturing people’s attention as the most legitimate and sole heir to the throne.
In this situation, if Clea were to bring up a story about being raped by Admund, his honor would plummet to the ground in an instant.
‘Even if she says she abandoned the Odoi family, how can I believe that? There’s no proof, no proof.’
Oberon recalled the time he encountered Clea before.
When she was very young, she was someone who would do anything for her family to the point of desperation.
A child trembling in fear of being abandoned by her family.
Remembering that, Oberon placed his hand on his aching forehead.
That night when he met her on the bridge.
Listening to the conversation between the two, Oberon thought Admund wouldn’t believe her words.
He wished Admund had coldly drawn the line and left the spot, not caring if she froze to death.
But Admund brought her to the imperial palace.
And again, without minding other people’s gazes, he repeated the same mistake as the previous day.
‘Why did he go alone in the first place? Since she’s his fiancée, he should have dragged her along!’
When Lloyd showed up without notice, Oberon felt displeased but also partly relieved of his worries.
Since Lloyd had come, he thought this uncomfortable atmosphere would also come to an end.
However, Lloyd stormed out, and Clea, who should have followed him out, was still in Admund’s office.
‘What would happen if this news reaches His Majesty the Emperor’s ears?’
Oberon, whose insides were burning, locked eyes with someone coming out of the office.
“If you’re going in, go ahead. I’m done with my business.”
With Clea Odoi, who was showing a kind smile she had never shown before, pretending to be gentle.
Oberon widened his eyes and opened his mouth to speak to her.
“Please give me a moment of your time.”
Oberon looked at Clea with a gaze full of hostility.
His gaze was sometimes sharp enough to make even his subordinates sweat.
Because if he, the right-hand man of the crown prince who would do anything for him, targeted someone with determination, there was no knowing what would happen.
But Clea showed no other reaction to Oberon’s gaze.
“Why should I give my precious time to you?”
Clea raised the corners of her lips.
Seeing that, Oberon’s body stiffened with a start.
“You’re not someone that meaningful to me to that extent.”
Clea’s patience had already hit rock bottom after meeting Lloyd.
In that state, she was now having reasonable suspicions.
She suspected that Oberon might have summoned Lloyd to the imperial palace to take her away.
Clea was not ignorant enough to be unaware of the hostility Oberon was sending her way.
She was someone who had received many hostile gazes until now.
Thus, the hostility of one person was not enough to make her cower.
‘At least, if it’s not to the extent that everyone in the banquet hall is sending hostility.’
She recalled memories she didn’t want to bring up.
Holding back the bitter taste in her mouth, she smiled.
Even when she tried to change those gazes, they didn’t turn around at all. As if it were a curse cast upon the villainess in a novel.
Once, she even tried running away until she could escape, but she was the only one who soon got tired.
She eventually gave up on turning the hostility around.
Finishing her thoughts, Clea turned her gaze to Oberon.
She was also someone who knew how to separate public and private matters.
Having found a person who interested her for the first time, she wanted to spend her remaining time only in pleasant places if she could.
So she even considered asking Admund to put aside his work and make time for her.
However, she soon walked out of the office on her own.
‘Even if I’m someone who will die, I shouldn’t block the future of someone who will live.’
Admund was the one and only person who looked at her without prejudice.
She was grateful to him, but Clea didn’t want to make things difficult for him.
But Oberon was a separate issue.
Unlike Admund, whom she encountered once in a while, she had to face Oberon quite often.
Every time, Oberon never refrained from looking at her with contemptuous eyes.
“I don’t know how my existence is perceived by you, but don’t worry. I have no intention of harming the person you serve.”
That’s why she also didn’t want to face Oberon for long.
Even if they faced each other, the only emotion they would both feel was discomfort and nothing more.
Clea tried to avoid him first by turning her body.
But at Oberon’s words, she soon stopped walking.
“How can I blindly trust you? You are that Clea Odoi.”
Where should she start pointing it out?
If it were Admund, she would have exercised patience countless times, but unfortunately, the other person was not Admund.
The person who kept trying to interfere between her and Admund.
Even while suspecting that he might have called Lloyd, she tried to quietly let it slide, but he wouldn’t leave her alone.
Clea’s hostility was slowly burning.
Clea even withdrew the smile she had been wearing.
As only coldness settled on her face, Oberon swallowed his dry saliva for a moment.
“Didn’t I say it? That I abandoned the Odois.”
She looked at the pattern drawn on the back of her hand.
Time was passing regardless of her will.
How nice would it be if she could stop this time?
It was a thought the female lead constantly showed in the novel.
Because the world was so beautiful. Because the people around her were so kind.
She wanted to live somehow.
What about Clea, on the other hand?
“How can I believe that?”
“How can you believe it? Well. How should I say it so that even a dull person like you can believe it? Should I say I’m scheduled to die soon?”
“……”
“Yes, you can’t say anything. I don’t feel the need to prove it to you. Because you mean nothing to me anyway. Just like Lloyd.”
Meaning was a really important word.
Ever since falling into this place, Clea had been constantly searching for ‘meaning’.
What was the meaning of her possessing Clea Odoi? The meaning of having to live in place of her life.
Even the meaning of why she had to live being persecuted for things she didn’t even do as a villainess in this world.
She felt a surging sense of suffocation.
‘Ah, this is bad.’
Before, when she felt very frustrated and had difficulty exhaling.
Clea had experienced something really bad, even if it was only once.
‘How did people react to her at that time?’
When the villainess showed the miserable sight of retching, they might have felt refreshed, thinking she deserved it, or they might have sent disgusted gazes.
Too many gazes reached her, so she couldn’t determine a single one, but Clea, who ended up retching from being plagued by all of them, felt wronged.
Why did she have to bear everything, even the things she didn’t do?
“Uughh.”
“…Young lady?”
Clea tried to hold back the dry heaving somehow.
Back then, she at least had a handkerchief, but now she didn’t even have that.
But in the end, she couldn’t hold back what was surging up from her mouth and spat it out.
It was blood as red as Admund’s eyes.
Male lead fell into her trap — and shattered when she walked away
This is also on my reread list!
This one is a slow burn, but when it burns, it burns hard.
Definitely worth a read, y’all!
The story follows a thousand-year-old seductive spirit who, on a bet, sets out to charm the male lead—a once-promising but unfortunate cultivator.
But just when she succeeds in making him fall for her, she heartlessly leaves, driving him to madness.
Determined to find her at all costs, he captures her, keeping her by his side no matter what, even if she hates him.
I love this kind of trope—I enjoy watching the male lead suffer in agony.
The ending drags a bit with unnecessary filler, but that’s fine.
As long as I enjoy the beginning, I’m good.
Intro
As an enchantress, Su Heng possesses captivating eyes and charming beauty, easily manipulating the joys and sorrows of living beings at her fingertips.
But to enchant a god, making him taste the bitterness of love’s separation, long-lasting resentment, unattainable desires, and inability to let go…
Do you dare?
Su Heng assists a divine lord in his cultivation, aiming to make him experience all the sufferings of love, so that he can attain the Great Dao.
Only after being chased down from the heavens by the divine lord, confined and completely possessed by him, does she realize how successful she has been.
The once gentle and polite youth has transformed into someone she no longer recognizes.
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