“You seem to have a lot on your mind.”

Benjamin whispered from behind.

Unable to leave the unconscious child alone, they were on their way to the imperial palace with Henrietta.

“I’m alright now.”

“Are you sure?”

“What was complicated has been sorted out.”

Charlotte calmly whispered.

“Has the imperial physician not arrived yet?”

“I’ve sent word to the Imperial Medical Center, so they should be here soon.”

Charlotte leaned against the bedside table.

Soon, there was a presence outside the room.

“Your Majesty. The imperial physician has arrived.”

Aaron knocked on the door and entered. He silently completed his examination, observing the child lying alone on the bed.

“She lost consciousness due to shock.”

“Are there any physical injuries?”

“I’ll check, but she appears unharmed. If her arms and abdomen are fine, that’s good.”

Typically, when external force is applied, one tends to protect their body with their arms.

“At least it’s not from external impact.”

“Is it a mental issue then?”

“Given the circumstances, it seems so.”

“How long until she regains consciousness?”

“We’ll have to see when she wakes up. Her strength is too depleted now. For now, I won’t wake her and will prescribe a sleeping draught.”

As her body was weakened, getting deep sleep was the most urgent priority.

“Then, I’ll return with the herbs.”

Aaron left.

“Why are your hands shaking?”

“Oh, I didn’t realize.”

“Stop shaking.”

Benjamin took Charlotte’s hand and covered it with his own.

“You were calm in the face of death, yet you’re shaken by this child’s state.”

“…She’s still young.”

“What did you see in this child?”

“Well… Perhaps I glimpsed myself from that time.”

Charlotte reached out her arm. With that arm, she touched the child’s forehead. The child breathed evenly with a slight wheeze.

“Why were you left there alone?”

Even blinded by greed, one wouldn’t abandon their own child.

“Is there still no news of this child’s birth mother?”

“Tutor has placed people at the mansion, so if anyone comes looking for this child, we’ll be notified.”

“What about the head of the family?”

“His trail has completely disappeared. Even if the intelligence agency tracks him, it will take more time to find him.”

“…It’s troublesome whether he’s caught or not.”

Such is life bound by blood ties.

Even if one thinks they’ve severed past blood relations, from the outside, blood ties still appear connected.

“We’ll discuss the rest after this child wakes up.”

It was just as Charlotte was raising her head.

Their eyes met. Somehow, those eyes were difficult to read.

Their gazes remained fixed on each other.

His gaze seemed to pierce through her innermost thoughts, and then, as if exhaling a sigh, he called her name.

“Charlotte.”

Benjamin whispered with his eyes half-closed.

“You missed mealtime.”

“I didn’t realize.”

“You should eat something, even if it’s light.”

The empty stomach made its presence known. It felt like a void.

“Relax, Charlotte.”

“……”

“You’re scratching yourself with your nails.”

Only then did Charlotte loosen her grip.

“…I’ve scratched myself.”

“We should apply some ointment first.”

Charlotte opened her hand.

Her nails had dug into her skin, leaving scratches.

It stings. Only now did she feel the pain in her skin.

“Right now, you should take care of yourself first.”

[This is the timeline separator]

Charlotte closed her eyes.

She finished her meal with soft wheat bread spread with cream cheese.

A cup of chamomile was placed on the side table. Charlotte put down the teacup and leaned against the wall.

A maid carefully asked from beside her.

“Are you feeling unwell somewhere?”

“No. Why?”

“You seem to have a lot on your mind.”

“I just can’t sleep, that’s all.”

“Shall I warm up your tea?”

“It’s fine. I’ll be like this for a moment.”

Charlotte tilted her head to look out the window.

“I’ve developed a bad habit.”

When her mind was troubled, she always suppressed it the same way.

It’s a terrible habit. Even if her body screamed in pain, that scream was buried silently.

Her body became numb, unable to feel pain, busy suppressing that misery.

‘It was a terrible thing to do.’

Because there was no one to stop her from doing such things, her past life ended that way too.

“Tidy up the bedding and then leave.”

“Is there anything else you need?”

Charlotte brushed back her long hair and waved her arm.

“I want to be alone.”

“Then I’ll be outside. Please pull the bell cord if you need anything.”

As all the maids left and their presence faded away, it was then.

‘Kee-ung.’

A white ball of fur emerged from under the narrow side table.

The little one who had been padding around on short front paws shook its body. The fluffy white puff perked up its ears.

‘Kee-ung.’

Lan pressed Charlotte’s instep with its front paws.

“……”

Her body felt stiff, as if tightly wound, though it wasn’t muscle pain. Somehow, one side of her chest felt uncomfortable and her insides felt stuffy.

Her fingertips turned pale.

The fingers holding the teacup trembled slightly, but this wasn’t due to cold.

Charlotte hid that agitation.

She covered her hand to suppress and conceal the trembling.

“Ah.”

The warm tea soothed her throat.

The heat from the fireplace, which had been turned up, felt scorching on her skin.

‘Was it anxiety?’

The tea went down, languidly suppressing the anxiety.

The subtle apple scent unique to chamomile was quite nice.

Don’t tremble.

It’s still okay. It was just a small disturbance.

‘You have a habit of overworking yourself.’

That might be true.

Charlotte leaned back on the sofa. As she rested her arm on the armrest and let it drop, Lan licked the back of her hand.

“I don’t need comfort from you to this extent.”

Lan whimpered and climbed up her body. Careful not to scratch with its claws, it curled its toes to hide its claws and pressed Charlotte’s knees with its front paws.

Lan licked Charlotte’s chin with its tongue.

‘Kee-ung.’

Whimpering and unable to leave her side, the little one rested its cheek against Charlotte’s neck.

“You always seem to read me.”

As Charlotte quietly lowered her head, the short tail touched her forehead.

Tap tap, it was light.

Gentle and careful, as if caressing.

Small and youthful.

Such a small child whimpering and reaching out, it seemed like its own form of comfort.

Lan poked Charlotte’s nose with its short snout.

“I’m fine.”

Just as she was whispering softly, a familiar presence approached and stopped.

“Are you coming from the office?”

“If I had finished work and was on my way, I’d be in uniform. I was feeling stuffy, so I stopped by the training grounds on the way.”

Charlotte finally raised her head. Benjamin shook out his damp hair, dressed in a thin robe. Sensing his presence, Lan jumped down from her knee.

“That child refuses to be anywhere but by your side.”

“It’s not refusing.”

“Then.”

“It’s making room. When you come to my side, it seems to deliberately give up its place.”

Lan scratched at the door habitually, and a servant opened it instead.

‘Kee-ung.’

As this had happened often before, even the servants had become indifferent.

“Somehow my head feels foggy.”

“You must be tired.”

“But I can’t sleep well.”

“Why?”

“…I feel a bit stiff.”

“Is that why you’re drinking chamomile, good for calming the mind and body?”

“The tea cools down quickly.”

“You should have asked for the tea to be reheated.”

Charlotte shook her head.

“I should sleep now.”

Charlotte casually brushed the teacup.

“Has Tutor finished the investigation?”

“The general parts, yes.”

“…And the child?”

“She regained consciousness. She was anxious afterwards, so we prescribed a bit more sleeping draught.”

Charlotte closed her eyes. Her throat gradually settled.

“Unsettling events keep occurring.”

“Originally, all events seem to be connected, yet not connected.”

Benjamin put down the wet towel and approached her side. His presence drew closer and closer.

“You’re in low spirits.”

“I was on my way back from visiting my mother at her family home.”

“Did you see your family?”

“Just my maternal grandfather.”

“……”

“As I sat quietly by my mother’s side, I suddenly realized.”

“Realized what.”

“That I had been unwell.”

That my life had been arduous.

“Even though I seemed balanced, I wasn’t, and I was secretly tired of past events. I still haven’t escaped from those things, and revisiting the past shows me this side of myself.”

“……”

“I didn’t want to reveal this unstable inner state, so I kept my mouth shut.”

Again, I buried it alone inside.

“This is what I’ve become now.”

The one who suppressed that suffocation forgot how to express it, and only remembered how to cut away their emotions.

“I was a little unwell before.”

“……”

“Every moment of breathing felt stuffy, and I felt a little resentful that my life was constrained. I wished for normalcy, but even that normalcy wasn’t allowed.”

I could see my life was broken but had no way to fix it,

I could see my path had gone astray but had no way to return.

“People think everyone has a rock bottom. That the worst of life ends at some point… But I couldn’t be like that.”

“Why?”

“My rock bottom didn’t even exist, and I just kept going down.”

Only after life ended did I reach rock bottom. That rock bottom was death.

“I’m fine now.”

Now it’s all become as if it never happened.

Even the past death.

The past life has become fragments of the past.

“I’ll keep getting better from now on.”

“That sounds like self-hypnosis.”

Benjamin gazed steadily into Charlotte’s eyes.

“There’s no way I could be fine.”

[This is the timeline separator]

It was in deep unconsciousness.

“My child”

Ah, somehow it felt nostalgic. So longing.

“You’ve been hurt.”

“……”

“I’m sorry for leaving you alone.”

Charlotte. Charlotte. My child.

Dark red hair tickled her cheek. A deep color filled her vision. Red. Everything was dyed red.

“I’m sorry for leaving you alone.”

It was self-reproach. Deep self-reproach that penetrated to the bone.

“My child. My dear child.”

“It’s okay.”

“Charlotte.”

“I’m okay.”

Charlotte quietly closed her eyes.

Benjamin looked down at the sleeping figure. As she breathed evenly, that breath trembled slightly.

“Where is the determination you had when you came to find me.”

Why do you now seem to be slowly crumbling?

Like wandering lost in a vast ocean.

Losing the balance maintained so far, that body slowly sinks down.

“If for the past few years you struggled to break free from the grave, cutting off those who clung to your ankles.”

Those with such eyes are usually similar.

“Now you’ve lost that center of gravity.”

Benjamin stroked Charlotte’s forehead.

“Are you outside?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Bring the sleeping incense. Today, the Empress will need sleeping incense too.”

To sleep a little deeper.

Her breathing relaxed languidly.

He covered Charlotte’s forehead with his large hand.

“I’ll hold onto your steps.”

The maid brought the sleeping incense and placed it on the bedside table.

He lit a match and set fire to the sleeping incense.

“You can sleep peacefully.”

As if red paint had been dropped on white bedding,

His vision was dyed red.

“I had no intention of letting you go.”