“If I were dead, why would I be here?”
Humans die and must go to the gods. Bones buried in the ground crumble, and those crumbled bones also become soil.
It means that humans die, return to nothingness, sever human relationships, and let go of lingering attachments.
“If I were dead, it would be the end.”
Then.
“Why couldn’t I die?”
It is called reincarnation. After death, one steps on this land again.
Feeling the texture of the soil with bare feet, stepping on the grass with the soles of the feet, digging into the soil until the fingernails are worn out.
“Do you believe it? Why don’t you believe it?”
Benjamin replied to Shal.
“It wasn’t eyes that told lies. Even if you remain silent to me, you’ve never whispered lies.”
Shal whispered, digging through its neck.
“I’d rather you didn’t believe it.”
“Why?”
“It’s not pleasant to show my bottom to others.”
The bottom is too sticky. I just want to forget everything.
“Even if you try to dismiss it as something that didn’t happen, it doesn’t make it an event that didn’t happen.”
“Are you okay?”
“I died. Yes, I died like that.”
Shal wrapped its neck around him and scratched with its fingertips.
Crunch.
Its fingernails tore into the skin. Oh no, I hate it. Shal suppressed the urge to vomit.
It was neither intense self-hatred nor anything less or more than that.
“Feeling queasy?”
“I feel a little nauseous.”
“It seems like a self-defense mechanism. It’s okay. If your stomach feels queasy, you can throw up.”
Nausea rose, and the mouth filled with a bitter liquid.
‘I don’t like my own weakness.’
A body tainted with weakness becomes infinitely weaker.
Such a weakened self collapses without any strength to endure beyond this.
“I will call the royal family’s…?”
“I don’t want to. Leave the outside empty.”
“You want to hide. From their eyes.”
Benjamin wiped away Shal’s neck like that and pressed the muscles.
“What was the last thing before you died?”
“I had Lupertic disease.”
“Did it hurt?”
“My lungs hardened, and it was a bit suffocating. The memories before death are blurry. I don’t have a mirror, so I don’t know what I looked like when I died. I accidentally suffered a severe burn, so I got rid of all the mirrors around me.”
Past lives were lived in confinement. As the end of life’s escape became more and more limited, it led to death.
“I didn’t have a life.”
“It must have been tough.”
“At the age of nineteen. I died and woke up, and I was back in that time, as a child mourning the death of my family… So I’m here like this.”
Breath filled up to the throat. Ah, this stuffiness was annoying. I didn’t like it. It was too repulsive.
The throat creaked and got blocked. I wanted to vomit the blocked contents. It felt like prickly thorns had sprung up.
A sense of emptiness overwhelmed consciousness.
“Are you okay?”
Shal pressed the welling disgust with the back of its hand.
“Don’t let self-hatred gnaw at you. It’s akin to self-harm.”
Even in the moment of death, he considered it the end of peace.
“I died like that.”
“When you stood in front of the grave, your expression was strange. Was it because of the expression when you recalled your deceased mother?”
“It was too distant. It was unfamiliar to review and miss, and my injustice was my personal responsibility, so I just lived like that.”
If I brought that out, it would clearly expose my bottom.
“I understand why a fragile person like you harbors a strong spirit.”
Instead of pulling away, Benjamin delved deeper.
“Is it okay to release the tension in your arms?”
“Uh, yes, sure.”
“You can scratch with your nails, but yours might get more damaged. Women’s nails are said to break easily.”
Only then did Shal realize.
“Oh, no, should I let go if it’s scratched?”
Shal shook its arm without strength. The flesh was stuck where its nails scratched its neck.
“I’m sorry. Uh…”
“Self-defense is an attempt to protect oneself from external stimuli.”
His skin was tough. Shal’s nails trembled more.
“If you forcibly tear it off, you might hurt yourself.”
Lan whimpered. Lan, who had been scratching its neck with its front paw, lay down, bumping its belly.
“I didn’t intend to intimidate you, so you have nothing to fear.”
Shal covered Lan’s belly like that.
“At what time did you die and wake up?”
“At the age of nineteen. It was after my mother died.”
“It was a time when you were left alone.”
“I’ve been married, experienced the future ahead. The world was only inside the mansion. Outside information was severed, family ties were cut, married life was formed, and I spent my time looking out the window in a mansion with all the doors closed.”
Lan licked Shal’s hand.
“And then I died.”
“Where is the punitive front…!”
Aster, who found the palace, felt the back of his neck tingle.
The empress and emperor emptied the palace side by side. Concerned that security might be breached, the imperial family had requested reinforcement of security at Windsor.
Male lead is a Destined Young Husband (Female-dominant)
One-sentence summary: Wife-master, listen to my explanation!
Li Ruantang, a young lady from a prestigious family, stumbled and fell. When she woke up, she saw a noble and beautiful young man sitting by her bedside, wiping away tears.
The young master had slightly reddened eyes, and his every move exuded charm.
The sight made Li Ruantang’s eyes hot and her heart flutter. After all, she had made a bet with the young master Meng from the neighboring family. If she couldn’t marry a husband before the end of the year, she would have to admit defeat and give up the jade she had worked so hard to obtain.
Outside the window, the flowers were in full bloom.
Rather than losing the bet, the jade, and her face, Li Ruantang calculated that it would be better to seek marriage with the young master in front of her, killing three birds with one stone.
…
Meng Jun never thought that an accident during a spring outing would lead to them rolling down a cliff and into a river, yet still survive.
Now they were trapped in an unknown village, and Meng Jun had overheard that the family who had rescued them had their own intentions.
After all, it was Li Ruantang who had lost her mind and sought marriage first. He was only trying to protect himself!
Glancing at Li Ruantang, who was listing her own merits, the young husband’s voice softened, and he blushed as he lied, “W-wife-master, Wife-master, don’t you remember me?”
The young husband’s voice was clear and handsome, coaxing Li Ruantang’s heart to be soft and sweet, and she spared no effort to protect him.
It wasn’t until they returned to the capital that Li Ruantang suddenly remembered.
When they had fallen off the cliff, in order not to implicate Wei Yunruo, whom he secretly admired, the young husband had instead pulled her, who was slightly farther away, down the cliff with him…
Short summary by Yuushi L: Initially, the male lead (ML) liked another girl, while the female lead (FL) liked the ML. Both fell off a cliff. The FL temporarily lost her memory, and the ML, fearing others might take advantage of him, claimed FL was his wife while they were staying in a village. Later, when they returned home, the FL regained her memories and remembered that the ML liked someone else, so she kept her distance from him. However, during their time living together in the countryside, the ML’s view of the FL had completely changed. From this point, his pursuit of the FL begins.
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