Inside the gift box was something black and hard, unclear whether it was a seed or a fruit.

It was about the size of a thumbnail.

The fruit was fixed on a silk cushion that fit its size perfectly, as if it were a precious jewel.

No wonder there was no sound when shaken.

“You look somewhat disappointed?”

Nikolai asked mischievously, raising one corner of his mouth.

“Not at all.”

“Did you think it was a jewel?”

I thought it might be a ring.

I hoped it would be. For a moment.

“I have enough jewels to wear on my feet, you know?”

I let out a snort, trying to hide my hasty expectations.

But I probably couldn’t hide my reddened cheeks.

“This fruit is more precious than any jewel in the world.”

“Won’t you tell me what it is?”

“I’ll tell the gardener, so plant it yourself. When it sprouts and grows lush, you’ll know its value.”

This isn’t some elementary school vacation homework.

A gift that you have to grow to receive.

Sensing my cooling gaze, Nikolai added:

“Remember the skewer restaurant? You ended up enjoying it, didn’t you?”

“That’s because I could grill and eat it right away.”

“Exercise some patience. You have a talent for nurturing things.”

“Do you mean nurturing Your Majesty’s son?”

Nikolai’s pupils dilated slightly before quickly returning to normal.

He replied in a voice tinged with faint longing:

“Yes, my son. You’re doing an excellent job taking care of that precious child I wouldn’t trade for anything.”

“……”

“Thank you, Elizabeth.”

There was a sound like my heart dropping.

My chest felt cold, and I lowered my gaze.

He had just said what any father would, so why did I feel like I’d fallen off a thousand-foot cliff?

Even if my skin were flayed and bones crushed, buried in a dark pit, it wouldn’t feel this lonely.

I had forgotten for a moment.

That Nikolai had a woman he loved enough to have a child with.

‘It’s natural for a father to cherish his son and be grateful to his son’s teacher. Why are you feeling depressed? Disappointed it wasn’t a ring. Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself?’

I was severely lacking in romance cells.

I attached great meaning to small actions and worried alone.

I rejoiced to the point of trembling, then feared like an abandoned child.

I wanted to forgive Nikolai for pressuring and forcing choices on me in a one-sided, wicked way.

I wanted to embrace him rather than blame him.

I thought I should take responsibility since I saved him with my own hands.

On the other hand, I was proud of the fact that I had saved the Emperor’s life.

I was filled with a sense of victory that other women couldn’t have felt.

But.

‘Nikolai probably still hasn’t forgotten her.’

Laila, who died 6 years ago.

No one knew who she was, where she was from, what she looked like, or even how old she was. It wasn’t even in the original story.

Everything about Laila and Franz’s birth was kept secret.

The servants who cared for her and young Franz vanished like smoke.

Even I had only managed to find out the name Laila after spending thousands of gold coins.

‘Was she a beauty that would make the moon wane and flowers jealous? She probably had the same honey-colored blonde hair as Franz. What kind of woman was she….’

First love is precious to everyone.

Even more so for a first love who left the world leaving behind a young son.

Is it because of Laila that Nikolai has many imperial consorts but no empress?

Is that why he wanders here and there, unable to settle with one person?

‘Maybe I’m just part of that wandering too…’

It was hard to breathe.

Something that wouldn’t melt or be swallowed seemed stuck in my throat.

What could be more foolish and stubborn than being jealous of a dead person?

Knowing it’s a fight you can never win.

“Your Majesty’s son would have grown up well even without me. He’s honest and clever, though clumsy in expression.”

I replied as professionally as I could.

Fortunately, Nikolai didn’t notice my deep sense of defeat.

“I’ve only hurt that child.”

“If that were true, Franz wouldn’t like Your Majesty.”

“Pinch… likes me?”

He furrowed his brow as if he had swallowed something bitter.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t know that too?”

How could father and son be so alike even in this?

Franz doubted his father’s faith, and Nikolai doubted his son’s love.

Neither could accept the sincerity of their only blood relative.

Was it because their affection for each other was too deep?

They always misunderstood, disappointed, and hesitated.

Wanting to look good, wanting to do well.

I was no different.

Who would have known I’d be boiling inside like this alone?

“How could I know? The expensive tutor I hired fell ill.”

Nikolai raised the corner of his mouth with a smirk.

“Using a sick person as an excuse, how cowardly!”

“Who was it that extorted money mentioning special training tutoring fees?”

“It seems all people look like thieves to you since you sneak in and out like a petty thief.”

I hated incompetent and insincere people the most.

I hated being treated like that even more.

How hard I’ve tried between the two of them all this time!

Well, extending my lifeline was always the priority!

“If you don’t want to be suspected, you should be careful with your conduct.”

“What did I do wrong?”

“Didn’t you visit your ex-fiancé’s house and some farm during your paid leave?”

Nikolai’s face was expressionless to the point of being cold.

I felt anger rising.

“I went to Marquis Netleton’s because of Susan. I asked for a tonic for Franz.”

“……”

“I deliberately went on a day when Sir Douglas wasn’t there, in case someone narrow-minded said something!”

I don’t know why I’m making excuses, but I continued speaking without taking a breath.

“I met farmer Boritz for the first time that day too. It was also for work.”

“You seemed quite friendly.”

“Surely not as friendly as Your Majesty riding horses with your new imperial consort?”

I turned over and pulled the blanket over my head.

I didn’t want to show my face right now.

It must have been twisted with anger.

I shouldn’t have said that last part.

Did it sound like jealousy?

Ah, how embarrassing.

“Elizabeth. Are you angry?”

“I’m not angry! Except for Your Majesty treating your lifesaver like a salary thief.”

It’s uncomfortable to show unrefined emotions.

Why do I keep getting choked up or flaring up in front of Nikolai?

“There’s a saying in my hometown: After saving a drowning person, they demand you hand over your bundle!”

After a while of silence, Nikolai reached out and stroked the round part of my shoulder.

“Elizabeth.”

It was a voice both soothing and commanding, soft yet forceful.

That voice had a strange power to disarm people.

Something that made even those who vowed not to look back glance over.

“Look at me properly.”

“Don’t order me around.”

“Please look at me.”

“Pleading won’t work either.”

“My lifesaver seems quite upset. It looks like I’ve made a big mistake.”

It was a sigh mixed with laughter.

I glared at him with fierce eyes.

Nikolai was fidgeting with the corner of his mouth, which was twitching.

“You find this funny?”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t help it. You’re too cute.”

Nikolai’s eyes widened at his own words.

That wasn’t all.

His cheeks and even the tips of his ears flushed bright red.

‘I should be the one blushing. Why is this man turning red?’

Seeing him flustered like a boy who had made a big mistake, some inexplicable confidence welled up inside me.

“I am quite cute, aren’t I? Enough for Your Majesty to fall helplessly for me.”

“That’s not what I meant…”

“Do you mean I’m not cute? Or that you haven’t fallen for me?”

“It’s not that either…”

Nikolai’s pupils trembled finely.

Uncharacteristically trailing off, he chewed on his dry lips.

It was quite satisfying to see the usually confident and willful man so flustered.

I wanted to tease him once more.

It seemed okay to do that much.

“Just admit it. You’ve been seduced by me, haven’t you?”

Oh! I’m not bad at this?

For this moment, I felt like a real femme fatale, not just a Confucian girl who had never dated.

But Nikolai didn’t allow even a moment of carelessness.

“Would it be easier if I admitted it?”

Uttering words that could have been a question or a mutter to himself, he brushed my forehead with his five fingers.

“…!”

I curled my toes at the tingling, electrifying sensation.

Thump. Thump. Thump. My heart raced at a different pace.

I was too close to him.

His lips and breath were the same.

A tense atmosphere pressed down on my chest.

Nikolai looking down at me, unable to overcome the burning thirst.

The shadow deepened by his black hair.

Eyes shining even hotter in the shadows.

The seductive femme fatale returned to being a rookie blinking her big eyes.

“Tell me, Elizabeth.”

His touch moved from my forehead to my eyebrows, from the bridge of my nose back to my lips.

The heat followed.

Was thunder striking somewhere? Was a storm coming?

My pulse pounded in my temples.

“Would it be a little reassuring if I declared defeat?”

He stared at my lips as if licking them, pressing down firmly.

While exuding blatant desire with his whole body, the touch of his hand brushing my hair behind my ear was infinitely gentle.

So I closed my eyes, pretending not to notice his lips drawing close enough to almost touch.

I waited for his breath to pour over me.

I expected the heat that would throw reason far away.

“…?”

But there was no kiss.

Only a helpless silence deepened.

When I lifted my fluttering eyelashes, Nikolai was moving away with a clouded face.

“I’ll be going now.”

My heart sank with a thud.

Did I make a mistake? Did I say something wrong?

I wanted to ask, but couldn’t say a word.

Nikolai’s expressionless face was unyielding.

To the point where I was certain any questions would be futile.

“Don’t concern yourself with the concubines. Don’t even be curious. There’s no woman in there worth your attention.”

Leaving those mysterious words, Nikolai departed.

I curled up again under the moonlight.

Vague fear and a sense of defeat became reality and swallowed me whole.

‘That woman is in your heart, isn’t she? Forever, as a presence so large you had to leave, wrapped in guilt.’

[This is the timeline separator]

I recovered perfectly.

I went to work at the Crown Prince’s palace as if nothing had happened.

I could have rested a few more days, but being alone would obviously be painful as Nikolai would often come to mind.

“I’ll give you a get-well gift.”

Franz blurted out suddenly.

I frowned as I was helping Franz with his math homework.

“It’s been a while since I recovered.”

“Stop talking and just accept it. You think it’s easy to receive a gift from the Crown Prince?”

“I’m so grateful. I can sell it for a high price.”

“It won’t be easy. It’s a painting.”

Franz held out a canvas wrapped in blue paper with a brown ribbon.

“I finished it last night.”

“Thank you, Franz.”

“You can throw it away if you don’t like it.”

Though he said that, it was clear he was nervous about whether I would like it or not.

These days, the chattering little tyrant looked cute to me.

Franz didn’t give me time to get lost in thought.

I was grateful for that alone.

“I painted it while thinking of Elizabeth.”

“Is it a portrait?”

“…Well, something like that.”

My hands became busy unwrapping the paper.

There were several portraits of the original Elizabeth hanging in Emster Manor.

The portraits, which showed Elizabeth’s self-love and ostentation, were huge and luxurious.

I wanted to have at least one real portrait of myself too.

Though I gave up because it seemed painful to stay still for hours.

‘With Franz’s skills, it must be a wonderful portrait.’

But my expectations crumbled the moment my eyes moved to the canvas.