In the gift box was something pitch black and hard, its identity as either a seed or a fruit unknown.

It was no larger than a thumbnail.

The fruit was secured in a silk cushion, as if it were as precious as a gemstone, precisely fitting its size.

Shaking it produced no sound.

“Disappointed, are you?”

Nikolai teased, lifting one corner of his mouth.

“Not at all.”

“Thought it was a jewel?”

I thought it might be a ring.

I wished it were, if only for a moment.

“Jewels? I have plenty to kick around.”

Suppressing my eager heart, I huffed.

Couldn’t hide my flushed cheeks though.

“This fruit is more valuable than any jewel in the world.”

“You’re not going to tell me what it is?”

“Tell the gardener to plant it. You’ll know its worth once it sprouts and grows lush.”

As if it were a gradeschooler’s summer homework.

A gift I have to grow myself.

Nikolai added, sensing my cooled gaze.

“Remember the kebab shop? You ended up enjoying it, didn’t you?”

“Because it was immediately edible.”

“Exercise some patience. You have a knack for nurturing.”

“Are you talking about raising your son?”

Nikolai’s pupils dilated momentarily, then returned to normal.

He answered in a voice tinged with a faint nostalgia.

“Yes, my son. You’re taking excellent care of my irreplaceable child.”

“…”

“Thank you, Elizabeth.”

It felt as if I heard my heart drop.

I lowered my gaze, my chest aching.

Why did I feel like I had fallen off a cliff for hearing something he should naturally say as a father?

Loneliness enveloped me as if I were buried in a dark pit with my skin peeled and bones shattered.

I had momentarily forgotten.

That Nikolai had a woman he loved enough to have a child with.

‘Why are you so down? It’s only natural for a father to appreciate his son’s teacher. Are you disappointed because it’s not a ring? Are you getting ahead of yourself?’

I was sorely lacking in the love department.

I was too eager, attributing great significance to trivial actions, nervous.

Elated enough to tremble, then fearful as a forsaken child.

I wanted to forgive Nikolai for pressuring and coercing me into choices.

I wanted to support rather than blame him.

I felt obligated, having saved him.

Somewhat arrogant for saving the Emperor’s life.

Immersed in a victory none other women had tasted.

But.

‘Nikolai still hasn’t forgotten her.’

Laila, who died six years ago.

No one knew who she was, where she came from, what she looked like, even her age. It wasn’t even in the original story.

Everything about Laila and Franz’s birth was shrouded in secrecy.

The servants who took care of them vanished like smoke.

I had only learned Laila’s name after spending a fortune.

‘Was she a beauty that even the moon and flowers would envy? Did she have golden hair like Franz? Who was she…’

First loves are always cherished.

Especially if they’ve left a young son behind and departed this world.

Was the reason Nikolai didn’t have an empress because of Laila?

Why he couldn’t settle on one person and wandered.

‘Maybe I’m also part of that wandering…’

I had difficulty breathing.

Something lodged in my throat, something neither meltable nor swallowable.

How foolish and futile it was to be jealous of a dead person.

Knowing it’s a fight I can never win.

“Your son would’ve turned out fine without me. He’s straightforward, yet clever.”

I responded as professionally as I could.

Fortunately, Nikolai didn’t detect my internal turmoil.

“I’ve only ever hurt him.”

“If that were true, Franz wouldn’t like you.”

“He likes me…?”

He narrowed his eyes as if he’d swallowed something bitter.

“You didn’t know?”
How could the rich be so similar in this as well?

Franz doubted his father’s faith, while Nikolai questioned his son’s love.

Both failed to accept the sincerity of their sole blood relatives.

Perhaps because their mutual affection was too deep.

They always misunderstood, disappointed, and hesitated.

Wanting to look good, wanting to do well.

I was no different.

Who could have known I’d be boiling inside like this alone?

“There’s no way to know. The teacher you hired with a large sum is bedridden.”

Nikolai raised the corner of his lips slightly.

“Using a sick person as an excuse, how cowardly!”

“Who was the one incessantly complaining about the extra tutoring fees?”

“Since you’ve been sneaking around like a petty thief, you probably think everyone else is a thief too.”

I hated incompetent and insincere people the most.

I hated being treated like one even more.

I had worked so hard between these two people!

Well, always prioritizing my lifeline first!

“If you don’t want to be doubted, be careful with your actions.”

“What have I done?”

“Weren’t you frequently visiting my former fiancée’s house and some farm during your paid vacation?”

Nikolai’s expression was as cold as could be.

I was seething with anger.

“I went to the Netleton Duke’s place because of Susan. I asked Franz for a tonic for her.”

“…”

“I deliberately chose a day when Douglas wasn’t there!”