Even a man who had everything in the world was caught in a similar feeling of helplessness as her past self.

“Any woman would do, so why are you underwater? If you really want to die, what will you do?”

She clenched her teeth in anger.

Leaving him to die was not an option.

She mustered all her strength to grasp the nape of Nikolai’s neck.

Dragging him to shore felt like an eternity.

Soaking wet, he was heavy enough to turn her vision white.

A metallic taste of blood rose in her throat.

But she couldn’t give him up.

If this was a joke, he’d pay the price.

If not, he’d be made to atone.

Only that thought kept her going.

“Heh, heh.”

She saved Nikolai with shallow, rushed breaths.

His eyelids, which had been floating in the water, were tightly shut.

His orderly eyelashes didn’t even twitch.

She slapped his pale cheek. Slap, slap.

“Snap out of it! You’re only going to make me suffer while you die?”

“…….”

“Do you know how great a sin you’re committing in front of me?”

She thought it was a cruel joke.

That he was only messing with her and couldn’t really be unconscious.

Her slapping hand became harsher.

Pouring out all her resentments, anger, frustrations, and hostilities didn’t wake him up.

“Could it be… Could it be…!”

She put her ear close to Nikolai’s nose.

There was no breath.

His chest wasn’t rising and falling either.

All that surrounded him was dampness and eerie silence.

“Don’t you dare die! I’ll never allow it! You wicked…!”

She never thought she’d use the CPR she learned from the International Volunteer Corps like this.

She folded her hands and pressed hard on his heart.

Sweat trickled down her forehead, thump, thump, thump.

Like a stream, the next step followed.

She took a deep breath into her lungs and covered his lips with hers.

“Heh.”

She had often recalled the sensation of their secret first kiss.

A sensation engraved like a brand that couldn’t be forgotten.

The memories of that day wouldn’t let go of her.

But the heat in the memory was gone.

Nikolai’s lips were cold and soggy, like a lifeless object, making her feel eerie.

Her heart tightened more than when she waited for the guillotine.

She had even forgotten to breathe, afraid it might be too late.

She didn’t want to lose him.

Losing his life before her eyes was even worse.

Even if he was a womanizer who slept with a different woman every day, she wanted Nikolai to exist in this world.

She had dreamed every night of being executed with him.

But it was the first time she had considered his life as precious as hers.

She didn’t even know she’d want to protect him more desperately than her own life.

“Live! I’m going to live, so you should too!”

She screamed and pushed down on his chest as if to break it.

With the last bit of strength, she blew air into him.

That’s when a small warmth returned.

“Uh…!”
He didn’t just stop at coming back.

He actively sucked on my lips and pushed into me.

Our lips met and our breaths mingled.

Another wave of dizziness surged.

Where did this heat suddenly come from?

Why is he kissing me at this moment?

I wanted to hit his shoulder with my fist and push him away, treating him like a scoundrel.

But Nikolai didn’t allow even a moment of neglect.

With his fingertips that still carried a chill, he fixed my head in place, and with his other hand, tightly held my waist.

The wet hem of my clothes clung to my body.

The skimpy piece of fabric might as well have not been there, conforming to every curve of my body.

It was as if I was lying in his arms naked, not beside a lake but on a bed.

Alternating tingles and dizziness shot up from my toes.

There were several opportunities, but I never ended up pushing Nikolai away.

My heart, revived by his touch, throbbed ardently in unison.

I wanted to hear more of the sound of him being alive, to feel it with my entire body.

Rather, I was craving his lips more.

I wanted to own that moist and soft part of him for longer.

No, I wanted to monopolize him.

After that first kiss, I had to suppress the boiling rage at imagining other women who could have craved his lips instead of me.

I had to deny even my jealousy, knowing I had no right to it.

Nikolai’s breath seeped in and melted away my tangled emotions until now.

Was it because we had been struggling in the chilly water for so long?

The cold turned to warmth and a new heat ignited as the kiss began, which showed no signs of ending.

It was a kiss confirming that we were alive in this moment, and that nobody could interfere with us.

Nikolai nibbled on my lower lip and fumbled with my upper lip as he pressed in.

My heart beat erratically.

It was as if my soul was also being captivated by his lips.

Suddenly, I was scared.

I had a premonition that my entire life might change starting today.

Yet, it was still a deeply engrossing kiss.

In the end, Nikolai spat out with a hoarse voice.

“You revived me, so take responsibility, Elizabeth.”

How irresponsible and arrogant.

“Were you planning to die?”

“I’m not the type to die easily. Nor do I have the luxury to.”

More incomprehensible words.

It wasn’t the appropriate timing to inquire further.

“Why are you so irresponsible as an Emperor?”

“Do you see me as an Emperor in your eyes?”

“No, you just look like a madman.”

I replied without even shaking off the moisture from my hair.

Nikolai chuckled, as if agreeing.

It was astonishing that he had the energy to laugh in this situation.

He didn’t look like someone who had just regained his breath.

Nikolai’s eyes gazing at me switched between the softness of a sponge cake laden with honey and cream, and the cold reflection of moonlight on a winter sea.

With a viciously twisted face, he spoke.

“Good look. I also look like a madman in my eyes.”

A hollow laugh scattered.

The moonlight lost its light. Layers of thick darkness pressed down on us.

The man who carelessly gambled his life settled with silence.

Whether I give any answer, we could never be the same.

I’ll either resent God or thank fate with prayers of joy when I reminisce about today in the distant future.

I couldn’t even guess which way it would go.

“Do you really want me to take responsibility?”

“Yes.”

“Are you prepared to be manipulated?”

“Do I need to show more resolve?”

He pointed at the lake with a nod.

It was annoying, but now it was my turn to show resolve.

“Don’t regret it. Because you really can’t go back now.”

Nikolai’s cheeks, which had been unflinching even when I hit him hard, blossomed red like a flower.

His eyes, which had been blankly staring at me, regained focus.

New hope bubbled in his iridescent eyes, as if emeralds had been inserted.

The corners of his lips were pulled upwards.

His usually sharp gaze settled down like that of a gentle boy.

It was the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.