Stepping out of the farm, I received timid farewells from Borits behind the door.

I briefly strolled around the lake, leaving the carriage to wait.

There had been too much happening in one day.

A momentary sense of accomplishment.

My arms and legs felt as if weighed down by sandbags, and the corners of my eyes burned.

What tormented me more than deep fatigue was not the reality where rest was not allowed, but the persistent loneliness.

‘Where should I go? I don’t want to be alone in a dark room.’

The palace was not my home.

Even if I returned to the Emster mansion, I was alone.

Life was much richer and more beautiful than my previous life, yet the loneliness remained the same.

No younger sister like Susan, no dependable brother like Douglas.

Troublemakers like Franz or Borman would have looked cute on a day like this.

Pretending to be fine, putting on a brave face, I couldn’t withstand the sudden, piercing loneliness.

Why am I so frail?

How long do I have to live like this?

What is the meaning of continuing a life that has already ended once?

Whether it was due to the loneliness that was tearing me apart from the inside, I faintly heard a hallucination.

“Elizabeth.”

A voice that was deep yet clear.

The more I thought about it, the more I resented it, but the voice carried by the wind was one I continually wanted to hear.

I couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh, wondering if I had not regained my senses even after such a pitiful experience.

“Why? Nikolai.”

I responded sarcastically.

After all, it’s just a delusion and talking to myself, so why bother with polite language?

Nikolai would be spending sweet time with the new queen.

And here I was, stupidly summoning his hallucination.

‘Elizabeth? Was there such a woman? Find a new education official suitable for the royal level and ask her to vacate the room.’

He might have already ordered Cares like that.

But why am I…

What’s loneliness anyway?

What’s this yearning?

“Aren’t you going to address me as ‘Your Majesty’?”

“Yeah! What?! I’m already regretting listening to a hallucination; why should I be formal?”

“Hallucination?”

“Yes, you. Nikolai, who is duplicitous, capricious, and has a natural talent for playing with people.”

“Am I that terrible?”

“The one who’s really terrible is me, for missing someone like you.”

Speaking out loud only made my insides noisier.

It was a bitter and disappointing act to reveal my heart, which had been denied even by myself.

I didn’t realize my feelings for Nikolai had grown this deep.

I just wanted to ignore them.

But in reality, in dreams, and even in delusions, I couldn’t escape from Nikolai.

As the moonlight lit up the apparition of Nikolai, my selfloathing deepened.

“Do you miss me…?”

A voice filled with disbelief, yet somewhere holding hope, became clearer.

I rubbed both eyes with the back of my hand.

Under the moonlight, the apparition of Nikolai gradually became clearer.

His black hair that usually gleamed was disheveled, and blue veins were prominent under his eyes.

Why had he lost so much weight?

His already sharp jawline drew an even sharper angle.

Only those sparkling eyes were the same.

The green blade that ensnared my soul, and dissected even the feelings I wanted to hide.

‘What! This isn’t a hallucination or an apparition?!’

The air around me froze in an instant.

It always happened when Nikolai approached.

“Is it really you?”

It wasn’t an apparition.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

How could Nikolai be here?

Are you here to take me?

My hardened veins pulsated.

My heart was also causing trouble.

I had repeatedly told myself that I didn’t need Nikolai, that he was just a wornout playboy.

I had turned my unexplainable sense of betrayal and lingering attachment into daily scorn and hatred.

Yet, just by standing still in front of me, that man rendered me powerless.

He dropped another spark deep in my heart.

As if I had become a woman incomparable to anyone else.
“Why are you here, given you’re so busy running the country and looking for an empress?”

It was a snarky, insolent response.

Was there really a need to be so curt?

Couldn’t you just react a bit more indifferently?

Cold sweat gathered on my palms.

Even if I’d inherited every aspect of a femme fatale, my core was still hopelessly single.

Everything I knew about love, I learned from romance novels.

So everything revolving around Nikolai was overwhelmingly confusing.

Even a single word, let alone gestures and glances, didn’t go as I intended.

I looked awkward, scrambling around.

Especially since I confessed that I missed you.

“I had to come, even if busy. All because of someone who violates the agreement whenever there’s a chance.”

“You’re stealing my lines.”

“I never break promises. Unlike you.”

“Why are you taking the joke so seriously?”

“What part of it is a joke?”

Nikolai’s lips tightened.

It seemed as if he was forcibly holding back something he wanted to say.

Was he feeling wronged? What exactly?

My emotions intensified again.

I couldn’t see much with my eyes.