In an instant, I lost my balance and collapsed into a flower bed. Nikolai, who was trying to steady me, also fell over me. There was no chance to feel pain. All the scenes seemed to replay slowly, like a video. No, it felt like watching a clichéd scene from an overly formal movie. If this were a past life, I would have changed the channel, scoffing at such situations. However, experiencing it made me understand why clichés are beloved for so long.

“Ugh.”

He, above me, let out a short groan. His scent, mingling with the floral fragrance, enveloped me. It was intense, warm, clean, and yet masculine. I tried to hold onto my senses, but reason quickly faded.

It was always like this when Nikolai approached. Today felt even more special. Our bodies touched seamlessly, a solid weight pressing on my chest and lower abdomen. Intertwined legs. I didn’t mind; it seemed even more thrilling.

‘I tried to awaken Nikolai’s beast. But before that, I might become a beast myself…!’

The man’s breath scattered roughly. The tremor that started from the earlobe and earlobe didn’t subside. Synced with the heartbeat, the tremor spread intensely throughout my body.

Nikolai seemed to have no intention of getting up. My tense reflection was mirrored in his turquoise eyes that gazed fixedly. His fine eyelashes, high nose bridge, and especially his unusually red lips were directed solely at me.

“Move.”

I murmured, swallowing the dry saliva in my mouth.

“Now you’re looking at me properly.”

“I never looked away.”

“It seems like you see something different from me?”

Feeling pricked at his words, I bit my lip. Whether he was teasing or consoling, the mid-low tone penetrated my eardrums.

“Is it because of Laila?”

Don’t ask such a thing. It will only become miserable.

“Perhaps… Are you jealous of her?”

If he had not hesitated and asked, I would have pushed him away fiercely. I might have wanted to kick him away. The puzzled look on Nikolai’s face, with the reddened cheek hidden, was full of ambiguous suspicion.

“I hope you’re jealous. Like how I get jealous of every man beside you.”

His voice, tinged with self-contempt, carried the weight of his absurdity.

“Who said anyone is jealous?”

I replied with a tone that warned against joking. The strength in Nikolai’s eyes, which I thought would be loosened, became more intense.

“If someone is jealous of someone, that’s not the case for Elizabeth, right?”

A mixture of unresolved confusion, resentment, and embarrassment burst out. Someone once said strong denial is a form of affirmation. If there was a mouse hole, I wanted to hide in it. Without knowing my speed, Nikolai mumbled lazily.

“I wish you would be jealous. Just like I get jealous of every man around you.”

His voice carried a trace of self-pity.

“Who is jealous of whom?”

I retorted, warning against playing. The strength in Nikolai’s eyes, which I thought would loosen, became even more intense.

“I get jealous of Douglas, Owen, Arkansas, and sometimes even Franz.”

“….!”

“Your maids, the blanket you sleep with, even the vase in your room, I sometimes get jealous of them all.”
Someone once said that strong denial is a form of affirmation. If there was a mouse hole, I wanted to hide in it. Unbeknownst to me, Nikolai lazily murmured.

“I wish you would be jealous. Just as I get jealous of every man beside you.”

His voice carried an air of self-contempt.

“Who’s jealous of whom?”

I retorted, warning against any teasing.

Nikolai’s eyes, which I thought would be used to the banter, tightened. After a brief hesitation, he spoke as if spitting out.

“Douglas. Owen, Arkansas, and sometimes even Franz. I get jealous of them.”

“….!”

“Your maids, the blanket you sleep with, even the vase in your room, I sometimes get jealous of them too.”

As if swallowing intense embarrassment, Nikolai tightly closed his eyes. I busied myself calming my pounding heart. I felt like if I let my guard down for a moment, the corners of my mouth would rise involuntarily.

‘I fell for it, I really did.’

Childish feelings of triumph and exhilaration filled my chest. Just a moment ago, I was feeling depressed about being treated as a substitute for first love. Loving someone was too complex and painful. Watching him shuttle between heaven and hell with a single word made me realize once again how much I liked him.

‘Nikolai likes me too. But liking him and him liking me are probably different.’

An interesting contractual partner.

The leading lady on the stage.

An indispensable tool for utility.

What else could there be?

As the relationship, neither lovers nor spouses, deepened recklessly.

Nikolai remained beautiful, the moonlight gentle, and the floral fragrance dizzying. I erased the shadow of the mature Laila behind Nikolai. Perhaps it was due to the invisible alcohol or the peculiar atmosphere created by the floral scent, impulsive desires surged within me.

Taking advantage of the clouds hiding the full moon, I stole his lips.

Just like the day we first met.

‘I want you. I want to monopolize you. To not be taken away by anyone.’