Surprised, I lifted my head.

Nikolai spoke coldly, “Won’t things change before you ask questions? Don’t you think that’s too much?”

Well, I guess I was a bit rude.

As a sign of reflection, I lowered my gaze.

Nikolai’s rebuke didn’t stop there.

“You declared you would leave, and now you’re asking about irrelevant matters?”

“I said I would go back after finishing what I had to do.”

“When was that?”

Finding an answer this time was also difficult.

As if expecting it, Nikolai chuckled.

“You are a woman who has abandoned the emperor three times.”

“When did I do that?”

“Once in the palace, once at the inn, and once in the temple.”

Nikolai spread three fingers in front of me.

I pushed his hand away with irritation.

“What did I abandon? I left to do what I had to.”

“Do you think we have no relationship at all?”

Nikolai distorted his expression and questioned.

Before I could answer, he asked again.

“Now, am I no longer needed?”

“…What?”

“You said you’d go to the temple together when you dragged me there.”

The words I said to Nikolai echoed back.

“Since you came to meet me, why don’t we go together?”

‘I was the one who suggested it first. It’s not like I said I would go alone after bringing you to the temple.’

Nikolai once again dug into my guilt.

“If you listen well, I said I would do what you wanted.”

“But what I get in return is either cold treatment or harsh questions.”

“Hmm.”

“When are you going to kiss and hug me?”

I hesitated as I looked at Nikolai’s teasing expression and took hesitant steps backward.

Another alter ego, dressed in a robe with flowing white beard, scolded me.

‘Disgusting! You shameless woman, uttering such words shamelessly in broad daylight!’

It couldn’t be helped to convince Nikolai… ‘Is it the pride of a virtuous Korean woman? We must keep our principles!’

We shouldn’t violate principles, but is it acceptable to engage in physical contact with an unmarried man?

Confucian values were brutally shaken.

“I even endured when you were with Arkanso in front of me.”

Surprised, I questioned, “What are you talking about? I just went to find the elixir, that’s all!”

“Yeah. To a sealed underground cellar where anything could happen.”

“!”

“Do you know the feeling of waiting endlessly? The feeling of seeing you, who had been waiting alone, appearing after soaking in a strange man?”

What a strange thing to say.

I felt like I became the heroine of a drama.

Is this person the type who can’t stand seeing me with someone else next to me?

Fortunately or unfortunately, the timing to ask about Laila seemed to have passed.
Nikolai, who erased his mischievousness, uttered a low and thick voice.

“How long should I wait? Am I just someone who should only wait for you?”

I couldn’t offer any response.

I couldn’t find any excuses.

Just looking at his beautiful face made my chest tighten.

An infinitely dark shadow pressed on my heart.

‘I may act like I’m the only one who has been hurt, but Nikolai has also been hurt by me. In fact, the truth I revealed is nothing.’

Sometimes I forgot.

I pretended not to know.

That he is the same person as me, a young man of only 28.

Then I believed he would understand.

I thought it couldn’t be helped even if he didn’t understand.

Why didn’t I know that was also selfishness?

“Sorry, but I can’t go back with you now.”

I replied, firmly holding onto the second elixir.

A faint flame, as if it would flicker away with Nikolai’s breath, flickered in his turquoise eyes.

My lips became dry, and my stomach churned.

For fear of losing that flame.

For fear of never seeing it again.

“Elizabeth, do you want revenge?”

Nikolai asked quietly.

“Of course.”

“If I help you?”

“You’re the emperor. I can’t let tyrannical things happen because of me.”

How did it come to this?

Now that I’m here, I couldn’t give up.

‘Don’t be complacent about Claudia being on my side. If Nikolai becomes a tyrant, Claudia will strike and enter from the closest place the fastest.’

Making Claudia the commander of the imperial knights was a huge gamble.

The premise of the gamble was that Nikolai was a ‘proper emperor.’

If Nikolai chose the path of a tyrant, he would face the guillotine once again.

Nikolai, who did not resist in front of the blade of the guillotine every night in his dreams.

Thinking he had everything, I wanted to protect the man who had endured a fate more cruel than anyone.

Even if I had to leave as a liar.

“I will go my own way, so please go your way, Your Majesty. I believe you will make a wise decision for the empire.”

The expression disappeared from Nikolai’s face.

Only the sorrow typical of someone who swallows sadness scattered in the wind.

He quietly stroked my hair.

Even though only my hair touched him, it felt like my entire circulatory system was rushing hotly.

“You are right. That’s what should be done… I also understand that… I just… when I see you, I keep wanting to make decisions for me.”

Nikolai’s breath weighed on my ears.