“It’s awkward to contact you only when things are difficult.”
“I’m grateful you think of me when things are tough.”
“I’m taking advantage of your kindness.”
“Would it be too foolish to say thank you for using me?”
Douglas chuckled.
His sunny and innocent demeanor made me burst into laughter unintentionally.
“Yes. It sounds truly foolish.”
“I hear such words occasionally.”
“You seem happy.”
“Today, the moon is bright, and the air is clear. It’s really enjoyable to walk with Elizabeth on such a good day.”
“It would be nice to enjoy it for a moment. Pursuers will catch up tomorrow.”
I playfully nudged Douglas’s side with my elbow.
Douglas’s gaze looking at me momentarily brightened.
Like a boy wanting to break free from the moon shadow and soar towards the sun.
“While we’re running away, we’ll be together, right?”
“Sir Douglas.”
“Whether as a fiancé, a friend, or just anyone. Anything is fine. Nothing at all is also fine.”
“…….”
“As far as possible. Let’s escape together.”
Douglas quietly held my hand.
It was a careful gesture, as if handling a baby.
I felt hesitation mixed with fear.
But it was warm.
I didn’t think about anything for a moment, not even how warm it was.
The reason I couldn’t pull away from Douglas’s hand was paradoxically because of Nikolai.
“Nikolai’s hands are much thicker and rougher. He often gripped so tightly that it hurt.”
Even at this moment, I was thinking about Nikolai.
His hands, body temperature, and scent.
Even knowing that it would be a wound for both men, I couldn’t help but lean towards that feeling.
Me using Douglas as needed.
Douglas silently helping me.
Nikolai swallowing the anger overflowing in my absence.
How did the three of us end up like this?
What if I give up on Nikolai?
What if I join hands with Douglas?
Would everything be neatly sorted and organized?
Why doesn’t the heart go as one wishes?
What is love?
Why does it turn away from the straight path and seek the rough trail?
“Is it because of Your Majesty?”
The smile on Douglas’s lips remained the same.
So the loneliness became even more pronounced.
It pricked my heart, not my conscience.
Somehow, an unknown heat spread in my chest.
Even though I knew it shouldn’t be like this.
“You will be branded as a villain, Elizabeth Amster. Your Majesty will be revered as an admirable emperor who does not even forgive lovers.”
“I escaped because it was frustrating. To catch those plotting against me myself.”
“Not to protect Your Majesty?”
“Sir Douglas, you overestimate me too much. To the point of embarrassment.”
“Elizabeth has many secrets. Regrettably.”
At the mention of the word ‘secret,’ I raised my head.
Douglas’s brown eyes were still deep and gentle.
I didn’t miss the unfamiliar heat in those pupils.
‘Did he sense something? He’s the one who knows the original Elizabeth the best, right? Maybe he heard my story from Claudia.’
Douglas was the first person to accept me as ‘Elizabeth.’
He was also the one who supported me with unwavering affection.
There were times when it was annoying and embarrassing.
But if it weren’t for Douglas, it would have taken several times more time and effort to adapt to this world.
Thinking that I might be doubted by Douglas, a desolation overwhelmed me.
This, too, might be a selfish feeling.
Douglas spoke to me, who had lowered my gaze to my toes.
“But I like Elizabeth’s secrets too.”
“Sir Douglas?”
“Whatever secret it may be, it doesn’t matter. Elizabeth is just Elizabeth.”
With a thud, my eyes became warm.
A hot breath rising up to my throat.
Did he know the frozen and painful hesitations that I couldn’t tell anyone, making them even colder and more painful?
At this moment, I also wanted to lean on his chest.
‘I wanted to meet a man who would understand and cherish everything about me. I wanted to spend my whole life with such a man. Douglas is the person I dreamed of, so why do I miss Nikolai so much?’
A man who doesn’t even know that he’s arrogant.
A man whose actions are unpredictable.
Hence, a man who always makes me anxious.
A man who hurts me.
Why can’t I do without him?
I felt like such a fool that my heart became wet.
“Let’s go, stop it. The pursuit team might have already started moving.”
Once again, I pushed Douglas away.
Douglas already knew.
Otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to wear such a fragile smile that seemed about to break.
“Don’t worry, Elizabeth. By now, that person would have started moving too.”
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
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