The weight of his body made the bed wobble.

He was already an extraordinary man in physical condition.

Looking up at him from below accentuated that.

Broad shoulders.

Slender arms and legs.

Thick chest muscles.

All of him set my heart ablaze.

The mere fact that I was in bed with Nikolai filled my body with heat.

All reason had fled far away.

I wanted to admire him as he looked down at me, from tonight’s moonset to tomorrow’s sunrise.

“Elizabeth, do you enjoy driving me mad?”

It was a voice that sounded held back for a while.

A strange thirst smoldered in his eyes.

Inhaling and exhaling both became difficult tasks.

Maybe I should just stop.

Could that stop this moment as well?

I curled the corners of my lips, erasing the futile imagination.

“Your Majesty, I wish for you to be a conqueror, not a madman.”

“Why?”

“I plan to live well under a conqueror like you.”

That lie was enough.

I reached out my hands towards Nikolai.

His cheeks were warm and smooth.

He flinched for a moment, but Nikolai didn’t avoid my touch.

Sometimes, it was unbelievable that he was within my reach.

It all felt like a dream: that I could casually touch the Emperor, that Nikolai was making a languid expression like a sleepy cat under my touch.

‘I want to see you as a conqueror, to stand beside you, to be your only one. Though it’s forever impossible…’

A pain that felt as if my heart was tearing apart, and a vain emptiness, swept over me.

My nose felt spicy.

My vision blurred.

The texture of Nikolai’s skin at my fingertips remained soft.

Well, let’s just enjoy this moment for a bit.

It will disappear someday anyway.

Nikolai, who had been silent for a while, finally opened his eyes thinly.

“Does that mean you will never marry in your lifetime?”

“Why would that be the case?”

“Forgot? Any woman who is not the Empress cannot live in the palace.”

“That’s why I became the Crown Prince’s tutor.”

Nikolai suddenly got up.

The bed felt hollow, being empty.

I extended my hand towards his retreating back, but then withdrew it.

‘Possessiveness isn’t exclusive to you. Neither is the desire for exclusivity. I can’t forgive you for embracing another woman.’

I swallowed words that couldn’t be spoken.

A bitter disillusionment lingered on my tongue.

‘I don’t like being captivated by a man I can’t be with for a lifetime. Therefore, we must continue our game of seduction. It’s the only way we can be beside each other.’

Finally, I could produce something resembling a smile.

“If you wish to marry me, first admit your defeat. Okay? Coolly.”

My true feelings were different.

I was anxious that Nikolai might declare defeat.

I hoped this game of seduction wouldn’t end.

Because everything, from seducing each other to being special to one another to sharing physical intimacy, was only possible within the game.

“It seems you are the one who fell for me.”

“You’re delusional.”

“Do you casually touch a man you have no feelings for?”

“It’s a kind of strategy.”

“Very effective.”

“I knew it would be.”

“So, the wink at Simon?”

Nikolai bluntly asked.

How did he see that?

Does he have eyes everywhere?

“Just a twitch of the eyelid.”

“And the hand kiss?”

“I must have had something on my hand.”

“Simon’s attitude changed drastically after that.”

“You know, Simon is frivolous and fickle.”

That excuse didn’t work either.

Nikolai’s gaze at me was not ordinary.

“Caeres also behaved similarly.”

“……!”

“He’s excessively affectionate and courteous to you, going beyond principle to offer you convenience. Normally, he shouldn’t care about anyone other than me.”

“I wasn’t aware that the two of you were so affectionate.”

“Caeres changed. Because of you.”

“Your Majesty, aren’t you tired? It’s late. Yawn……”

I yawned to give a hint.

But Nikolai didn’t budge an inch.

“Elizabeth, what are you doing?”

“……”

“What are you hiding from me?”
I couldn’t answer the persistent questions.

A faint sense of guilt washed over me.

I couldn’t reveal where I came from, what situation I was in, or what abilities I possessed.

Even the name Elizabeth wasn’t truly mine.

I couldn’t confess why I approached him, or why I intended to make him my husband.

I probably wouldn’t be able to say it in the future, either.

The more my mind delved into such topics.

Who would believe that you alone are my sincerity?

Even I am confused about myself.

“Your Majesty doesn’t reveal everything either. I am the same.”

“Elizabeth.”

“We need a proper distance in our relationship.”

“So, we’ve joined hands solely for mutual benefit?”

“A contract is originally like that.”

Nikolai didn’t respond.

We knew the answer.

For a moment, swayed by desire, intoxicated by tenderness, pained by longing, but a deep, cold river flows between us.

And we cannot easily cross that river.

“Yes. You and I are merely in a contractual relationship.”

Nikolai muttered to himself.

A cutting pain wrapped around my heart.

But it had to end there.

“Sorry for the disturbance.”

“Sleep well.”

“I don’t know what you’re scheming, but I wish you victory.”