‘He’s gone mad.’

Truly, he must have gone mad.

Now, he’s even confusing the formulas written by that damn empress with Rachel’s formulas.

Casius remained frozen in place for a long time, his tears dried up.

Blood seeped from his clenched hand, resembling tears of blood.

He felt no pain or suffering.

If love was meant to be this painful and cold, he wouldn’t have done it.

If it was going to shatter him beyond recognition like this, he wouldn’t have even started.

That would have been better for both you and me.

He missed her. If he could just see her face, he would tell her he loved her a hundred times, a thousand times.

He wanted to hear her voice saying those words.

Even if it meant death, just once more.

But she who left those words was now nowhere to be found.

He tries to grasp the scattered void and imagine her again.

Today too, muttering such self-reproach mixed with regret.

*

It was a while before Tikan entered Casius’s disheveled space.

Tikan’s gaze, which had been surveying the messy room, quickly turned to Casius.

The formula written by his sister was scattered on the table.

‘I thought he’d been doing better lately, but how did this…’

“Your Majesty.”

Moreover, blood was seeping from his lord’s hand, injured from capturing Beelrove recently.

His lord’s gaze was as distant as it was that day.

He was like this on the day he guarded Beelrove’s heart too.

At the peak of that mountain where everyone said they should give up, he persistently tracked Beelrove to the end.

As if he would die if he couldn’t retrieve it.

When they found their lord again, everyone was shocked.

His arm was inside Beelrove’s mouth.

In his hand, found inside Beelrove’s mouth that the knights had barely pried open, was a sharp sword.

It was a precarious situation where he could have lost an arm or even died from the monster’s poison.

Yet the lord himself was calm.

As if nothing had happened.

No, more precisely, as if such an incident brought him no fear or pain whatsoever.

That day too, the lord had exactly this expression.

The lord, who was frighteningly rational, became this blindly irrational person only when it came to Rose Mary’s matters.

Tikan sighed and approached him, bending one knee.

After instructing the knights to bring bandages, Tikan tried to wrap them around his lord’s arm, but Casius snatched them away.

“What’s with this rubbish.”

“It’s not rubbish. Your wound could worsen if left untreated.”

“If you’re going to nag, stop it. This body won’t die so easily anyway.”

“Your Majesty!”

Ignoring Tikan’s reproachful voice, Casius roughly grabbed the bandages and sat down, as if he didn’t care what happened.

He crumpled the empress’s report on the table and turned away with a furrowed brow.

The spire of the Empress’s Palace glimmered through the window at the edge of his vision.

With a deep frown, he closed his eyes and nodded.

Tikan, who had been continuing his admonitions, reluctantly began his report.

“We’ve discovered what the Empress was supposed to receive from Prince Dilan.”

Is it about the empress again?

With the thought that he was truly sick of it now, Casius listened to Tikan’s report with a dry expression.

“It was Sirmi herb.”

Whether it’s Sirmi herb or not, why should he care…

Casius’s dry face suddenly crumpled.

Sirmi herb was known to be effective for Ilacino syndrome.

‘The empress has Ilacino syndrome?’

But how could it be Ilacino syndrome?

The empress is a person obsessed with revenge against Snowfell.

So much so that she would boldly betray her father by clinging to a man who says he hates her.

In the midst of that, a promiscuous life?

Of course, it’s not impossible, but that wasn’t the only strange thing.

Casius recalled his wedding night with the empress.

Her trembling eyelids and fingers, her clumsy movements…

All those damned scenes were saying.

That night was probably her first time.

Casius’s large hand covered his heated forehead.

But if not Ilacino, then what on earth could it be?

*

Soon, following orders, the healer Hilter was summoned to the perplexed Imperial Palace.

“Sirmi herb is a treatment used for Ilacino syndrome. But is there some problem…”

Hilter trailed off, the disease too scandalous to even mention.

Then, Casius, with a serious face, inquired once more.

“Are there no other uses for Sirmi herb?”

“There are, but… it’s such a rare case and not well-known usage.”

“What is it?”

“It’s for treating old aftereffects of monster attacks.”

“Aren’t old monster aftereffects incurable?”

Indeed, scars from monsters would lead to death if the treatment period was missed.

Was it possible to treat such a thing?

“Yes. Hence it’s also known as a treatment for incurable diseases. Because of that, it’s quite expensive and not available in the empire…”

Hilter’s explanation continued at length, but Casius’s thoughts drifted elsewhere.

‘Is the empress saying she has an incurable disease?’

Somehow, it left an uneasy feeling.

The woman who took an arrow for him, who came to Wolf Door Lake to heal his wounds, flickered in his mind.

It would have been better if that woman was Diarob’s real daughter and a reckless scoundrel.

Then his mind wouldn’t be this complicated.

Casius tossed down the crumpled report from the empress.

The assumption that the empress was terminally ill dominated his thoughts.

‘What a damn situation this is.’

Of course, whether that was true or not, it had nothing to do with him.

What did it matter where some empress prolonged her life or died?

‘Did I develop some sense of camaraderie from sharing information all this time?’

It was absurd that such a ridiculous emotion had developed for that woman.

Since when? He carefully retraced the time.

From when that fragile body risked her life in his place?

From when she handed over the Benedict trade route to him?

Or from when she boldly spouted nonsense about Wolf Door?

Or… damn it, from when they mixed bodies?

Fine wrinkles etched across Casius’s porcelain-like, neat face.

It couldn’t be. It was nonsense.

He was merely concerned about the death of a spy from enemy territory who was helping him.

Casius cooled his heated head with a bitter smile.

Cold reason returned his thoughts to their original state.

“Can one survive by taking that herb?”

“Yes. Though most people would find it difficult to even see that herb.”

“Why?”

“Sirmi herb doesn’t exist in the empire, and it’s so rare even in other countries that it’s extremely difficult to obtain.”

This explained why the empress had gone so far as to ask Prince Dilan for it.

After dismissing Hilter, Tikan voiced his doubt.

“But would the Empress have had a chance to be bitten by a monster?”

“…”

“Duke Snowfell is known to cherish the Empress, isn’t he? Besides, if she had been bitten by a monster, he would have searched the continent to find that medicine.”

The image of the empress telling him to destroy her family vividly flashed in Casius’s mind.

Over that, the wounds he saw on the empress on their wedding night overlapped.

The wounds on the empress that he hadn’t properly recognized that night because he wasn’t in his right mind became more vivid in his mind as days passed.

Along with the memories of that damned night.

There were several scars on the empress’s body that weren’t from the arrow she took in his place that day.

Although they seemed to have faded over quite a long time, they were still clearly etched on various parts of her body.

‘Were those scars from monster bites?’

But if so, why did Duke Diarob neglect his daughter like that?

Or did the empress really contract Ilacino disease?

These complex thoughts continued long into the next day.

As his consciousness became muddled, lunchtime inevitably approached again.

“It’s time for lunch with the Empress.”

Right. All of this could be easily figured out.

Casius slowly rose.

*

Casius, who came again for lunch, just stared at me silently after sitting at the table.

‘Why does he look so angry?’

The Casius I knew didn’t glare at people like this no matter how angry he was.

When he was an aide, he would calmly persuade if there were disagreements.

And after I became Vivian, he would sneer or shout.

Lately, he keeps looking at me like that.

His gaze lingers for a long time.

‘Is that good or bad?’

Still, it’s something that he’s coming back to have lunch with me.

Regardless of the complicated feelings, delicious food was once again laid out on the table.

A savory, sizzling soup as an appetizer, followed by a tender, well-cooked salad.

The increasingly evolving table composition highlighted Marianne’s efforts.

Her words from before suddenly crossed my mind.

“They say if the food is delicious, you feel better and then you talk more”

Usually, when nobles of the empire had nothing to say, they would talk about the weather or praise the food.

It was an effort and etiquette to fill the awkwardness, even if formal.

Casius didn’t show even such formal efforts.

Not only that, there was not a single change in his expression.

The main course was finally placed on the table where only silence had prevailed.

It was a menu with sliced homemade ham stacked like a tower, topped with butter and bread.

The crispy texture of the baguette satisfied the tip of the tongue, followed by the deep flavor of the buttered ham, which was rich and mild.

After eating more than half with a newly awakened appetite, I came to my senses and opened my mouth.

Today too, it’s me, the subordinate, who has to start the conversation. I couldn’t wait any longer.

“Does it suit your taste?”

“It’s edible.”

His plain answer cut off the flow.

Then, after taking a sip of water, he spoke again.

“Does it suit the Empress’s taste?”

For a moment, I doubted what I had heard.

Casius isn’t the kind of person who cares about such things. At least not to me, Vivian.

Seizing this opportunity, I decided to erase at least some of the subtle debt of gratitude to Casius.

“Of course. I hired a chef carefully after you started having lunch with me, and it seems to have worked well.”

Look at how much effort I’m putting in.

It’s like shouting alone in desperation. Whether it worked a little, there was a slight tremor in Casius’s eyes.

“I eat anything well, so there’s no need to worry.”

“But you don’t eat seafood well and only eat mostly grilled vegetables.”

“I didn’t know the Empress knew such things.”

Ah, did I pretend to know too much? Smoothly composing my expression, I continued nonchalantly.

“The head maid is capable.”

Casius, who had been staring at me blankly, said something incomprehensible.

“…Your effort is commendable.”

“Pardon?”

“There’s no need to try any harder. Even without that, I intend to work with the Empress until the end to bring down Snowfell.”

Casius’s words sounded like this to me.

You’re just a strategic alliance partner to end Snowfell with me.

So don’t even dream of being by my side or in my heart.

Although it was a fact I already knew, the reopened wound stung and hurt.

“What I need is not an ally, but Your Majesty.”

Casius met my eyes as if asking what I meant.