“Alright. Then, let’s meet with the family at the next banquet.”

I wondered when I would come again.

“The banquet was soon, right?”

“It is soon. You always fell sick and missed them all.”

I had desperately tried not to get entangled with the original story. His sharp gaze showed he knew it was just an excuse.

“This time, please try not to fall ill and attend. You may have been able to as a count’s daughter, but now you’re a duchess. And the family wants to see your face, Julieta.”

By family, did he mean elder brother and father? I erased the bitterness from my face and smiled.

“Yes. I’ll definitely attend.”

It didn’t resonate that family who rarely visited or wrote letters wanted to see me. I had only decided to let my younger brother pass.

‘Honestly, I don’t really want to see the rest of the family. It makes my heart ache when I think of them.’

***

After seeing Wizlet off, I walked with Yezar for a while. The servants naturally made way. As if to let us enjoy time alone.

Sometimes, the servants seem to be more enthusiastic.

“Yezar, thank you so much for today. For deliberately giving time for siblings to talk, and understanding Wizlet’s rude behavior. The meal also showed that the chef put in a lot of effort.”

His thoughtful consideration felt especially appreciable today. Because he’s my precious family. I could see him trying to be kinder.

“It’s nothing. I also enjoyed hearing stories about my wife that I didn’t know while talking with my brother-in-law.”

“It’s better to quickly forget such embarrassing stories.”

Yezar laughed at my grumbling.

“I enjoyed hearing them. They’re memories, aren’t they?”

Can they be called memories? They’re just embarrassing recollections. But when Wizlet chattered about things I had completely forgotten. I realized I must have been quite the troublemaker, causing various incidents here and there in the count’s house.

“I must have caused a lot of trouble. Huu. I don’t want to share my foolish anecdotes with my husband. When we meet my younger brother at the next banquet, please don’t listen to my embarrassing stories.”

“Then is it alright to hear other stories? For example, your ordinary daily life. I’m curious about how you lived in the count’s house.”

There wouldn’t be anything special. But if he’s curious, it should be fine to hear that much.

“That much is fine, so listen as you wish.”

“Thank you, my lady.”

His answer was so refreshing that it felt strangely unsettling.

“By the way, my lady, I have something to say.”

“What is it?”

I swallowed hard, wondering if it was about Bertisha. Since I had decided to take him to the banquet, we would inevitably encounter Bertisha.

I could understand if he wanted to share his concerns about that with me.

“Is it really alright for you to meet your family members other than your younger brother?”

But when the topic suddenly turned to me, I was surprised and blurted out.

“Me? Not about Her Majesty the Empress?”

Yezar tilted his head as if he couldn’t understand.

“Why would Her Majesty come up here? I asked because I was worried about the expression you had before your brother left.”

“What was my expression like? I saw Wizlet off with a smile.”

“I’ve known you for a while now. We talk face to face every day. I can now see when you’re forcing a smile.”

“You don’t need to be so observant… What should I do if you’re this perfect too.”

He doesn’t even let people hide things. This time, I disliked his perfection a little.

“Do you not want to see your family members? When your brother said the family wants to see you, your face looked like you were about to meet an unwelcome person.”

He had accurately sensed my feelings. Unable to hide it anymore, I asked him.

“If I say I don’t want to see them, would I be too terrible a person?”

Yezar slowly pulled me into his arms.

“Of course not. The you I’ve known doesn’t hate anyone without reason. You must have reasons for not wanting to see them.”

As he comforted me while embracing me, emotions I had been busy hiding in front of others leaked out.

“…My family. They say they love me but have never properly devoted time to me. They call my name affectionately and smile at me, but I’m always left alone.”

My hands clenched involuntarily. I didn’t want to understand anymore. I didn’t want to give up or resign myself to the fact that it wasn’t mine.

“I thought I should understand because they’re busy. I tried not to be greedy even when left alone. But today, when Ember told me it’s okay to get angry, to throw tantrums, that I don’t have to understand, I cried.”

“So that’s why you were crying alone then.”

The emotions that had settled resurfaced at his hand patting my back.

“I wished someone would say that to me. Actually, I never wanted to understand. I hoped they wouldn’t leave me alone. I desperately wished to be the top priority.”

I burrowed into his arms and tightly grasped his collar.

“I don’t want to see them. Because I get sad when I meet them. Because it reminds me of the times I was alone. But knowing they love me, I can’t throw any tantrums… It’s painful…”

It was painful. Because I felt no different from the young Julieta who craved affection, unable to say harsh words to their kind faces.

Julieta’s emotions of not being able to let go of family while disliking them remained in me.

“I’ll be by your side. When you’re in pain, I’ll be beside you. So please don’t suffer alone.”

I was a fool. How could he take care of someone else when he himself wasn’t okay?

This is why I keep falling for him. This is why the lines keep blurring and I want to lean on him.

“Even though Yezar isn’t okay either. Even though it’ll be hard for you to face Her Majesty the Empress, why do you keep worrying about me first?”

I’m not a person worth that much. I’m just a contracted wife who will be a passing acquaintance to him. The warmth given to someone like me felt excessive.

He stroked my back and recited past events in a calm voice.

“I remember you holding my trembling hand at our wedding. You were the first to reach out to me, who was always busy holding in my emotions alone. Because you’re that kind of person. That’s why I can’t help but worry about you before anyone else.”

“…I’m more worried about Yezar than myself. I’m afraid you’ll push back your own feelings to comfort me.”

When you take care of others’ emotions, your own tend to take a backseat. I didn’t like the idea of Yezar not speaking about his difficulties because he was worried about me.

I really liked seeing him smile brightly. At that, Yezar laughed heartily.

Brushing back my fallen hair, he naturally kissed my tearful eyes.

“Then we’re worrying about each other. Isn’t that enough? We’ll be together at the banquet. You’re not alone.”

“J-just now, in my eyes…”

“It’s just the two of us right now. Won’t you consider this as my own effort towards you?”

There was nothing wrong with what he said. I was the one who said so first. But my reddened eyes burned with a different meaning.

“Yes, I understand… I was just surprised because it was sudden. I didn’t dislike it. I wanted you to know that.”

Yezar was delighted at the words I added, afraid he might misunderstand.

“Yes, my lady.”

Again, a response that makes one misunderstand. I shouldn’t misunderstand.

“But if it gets too hard at the banquet, please tell me. I’ve tried various methods to not attend banquets. If you need those methods, I’ll share them with you.”

My excuses for not attending, which became more elaborate day by day due to Wizlet’s suspicions of feigned illness, were quite plausible. If it helps, I was full of thoughts to use this method too.

Of course, Yezar’s shoulders trembled at my words. It seemed like he was trying to hold back laughter. Was what I said funny? It was a method I had learned through numerous failures.

“You don’t need to go that far. When I’m with you, painful things feel like a distant past. Now, instead of difficult past days, I’m reminded of pleasant moments of conversing with you and time spent together.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I might not have known before, but now I’m okay because you’re by my side. Do I look like I’m lying to you?”

As I talked with him every day, I could tell whether he was truly enjoying himself or just pretending to be okay.

He wasn’t lying. Whether due to my special training or not, he was smiling brightly as if there had never been any difficult moments.

Whether he’ll really be okay will be known when we face it, but I thought this much was fortunate.

Because when he first came to me, his face looked somewhat lonely.

“You’re not lying. You really look okay.”

“It’s thanks to you, my lady.”

The words exchanged were as tender as melting snow.

“But Yezar.”

“Why do you call?”

“Um… I think my nose is running… We should separate.”

I couldn’t soil him with impurities. He carefully let me go and handed me a handkerchief.

Then he laughed alone at something funny.

“Kuk. M-my lady, you really.”

I tried my best to hold back, but with the steadfast spirit that I couldn’t let such a thing stain Yezar’s clothes, I gathered my courage.

“Why are you so adorable?”

And as if the overused word ‘adorable’ in front of Wizlet remained as a side effect, Yezar said such an unbelievable thing.