“Yezar?”

“I really can’t…”

As I watched Yezar catch his breath awkwardly, strange thoughts began to creep into my mind once again. I spoke while averting my gaze from him.

“I understand. Instead, could you let go of my wrist? It hurts a bit.”

“I-I’m sorry! Are you alright?”

I nodded while fiddling with my wrist.

“Yes, I’m fine. It’s because I rubbed too hard, right? Ahaha.”

“I think it was too strong…”

Clearly, it was a conversation no different from usual. Yet the strangely settling silence felt awkward and embarrassing. I wasn’t sure with what mindset I had massaged his body.

Fanning myself with my hand, I tried my best to maintain composure.

“Well, I’ll get up now. The position is a bit strange too… Hm?”

My effort to avoid looking at his face led to an unexpected discovery. There was something bulky in his right pants pocket.

Thinking it must have been difficult to put such a thing in there, I casually asked him.

“Yezar, what did you put in your right pocket?”

“Pardon?”

“Or is it some kind of training tool?”

His gaze then turned to his right waistband, and his face immediately turned bright red. With his neck also flushed, he lowered his eyes pitifully and turned his head.

“I-I’m sorry. I’m a beast.”

“What?”

From trash to now calling himself a beast. As I wondered why he was acting like this, I suddenly recalled a scene from a high-level explicit captivity novel.

You know, that line the female lead shouted to the male lead in an R-rated scene…

‘Please, s-stop.’

‘H-how can you! It’s no different from a w-weapon.’

The suddenly appeared training tool. Weapon. The female lead’s lines from the high-level explicit captivity novel filled with flesh-colored scenes.

Understanding everything, I quickly covered him with the blanket.

“I-I’m sorry for constantly touching your body.”

This was all my fault. Why did I keep massaging, pressing, and touching someone else’s body, saying I’d give a massage…

“No, it’s not. My body reacted on its own… Showing you such an unsightly appearance…”

As moisture seeped into Yezar’s eyes and his gaze lowered, my guilt seemed to rise proportionally.

“W-well, for a healthy man, it can happen! Not because of excitement, but just constant stimulation can cause that, right?”

“…”

“Why aren’t you answering?”

His voice trembled. Yezar, who had pulled up the blanket I gave him to his neck, was speaking to me like a criminal.

“…I’m trash and a beast. Please beat me severely, my lady. I’d rather be hit by you.”

If things continued like this, it seemed he would avoid me as soon as dawn broke tomorrow. No, he was already avoiding my eyes and touch.

If I moved even slightly away from his side, it was obvious that Yezar would immediately go to the corner of the bed and cling to the blanket like his lifeline. This wasn’t just a hunch, but a certainty.

“How could I hit anyone? Besides, if even a single scratch appears, my husband would be upset. Yezar, look at me.”

“How can I, filthy as I am, look at you, my pure and innocent lady…”

The man who spoke thus looked impeccably chaste. Yezar didn’t know because he couldn’t properly see himself.

No matter how much he sniffled, saying he was dirty, with an appearance like pristine Grade A water untouched by the world, it only looked cute to me.

To begin with, due to his long unrequited love, he would be unfamiliar with a woman’s touch, so naturally, my touching here and there could have been an unintended stimulation.

‘Because he’s not used to it, his body might react differently from his will. How can he blame himself like this.’

Moreover, there was also me who had truly improper thoughts. I was relieved that Yezar wasn’t superhuman enough to read my mind.

“What are you saying? Where can you find someone as pure and clean as Yezar?”

“How can a pure and clean person react so rudely to his precious wife…”

He spoke with sharp words through reddened eyes. I should have noticed his signal to stop from the beginning.

I felt sorry for startling him unnecessarily.

“Yezar isn’t used to this and it’s unfamiliar, right? It’s just a reaction because I kept massaging and rubbing. So don’t whimper like that, okay?”

“Aren’t you disgusted by me? Even if not disgust, I thought you would be at least somewhat disappointed in me.”

Just how far was he going to take this? Unable to hold back, I gripped the hand of the terrified man tightly and exclaimed.

“What on earth are you saying! Who’s disgusted! Don’t think of me as such a terrible wife who would feel that way towards my husband who seriously listened to my inner thoughts that no one else would, comforted me, and stood by my side!”

“M-my lady.”

“If you say that, then I’m the beast and trash. Touching Yezar’s chest, spreading rumors about being a tireless beast who craves his wife every night, and touching you here and there to make up for upsetting you. And then like this…”

The more I listed my faults, the more I seemed like trash. I had done many terrible things to him.

“Yes, Yezar. I’m the trash and the beast. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Even if unintended, there were several instances where I had put him in an awkward position. It was time for me to make a decision.

“How about we use separate rooms for a while…”

The answer came very quickly.

“That’s not possible.”

It was a firm rejection.

“What?”

What I was trying to propose with some courage was cut off immediately. Of course, I didn’t want to use separate rooms either. Using separate rooms would not only worry the servants but also lead to rumors of discord. And most importantly, the time we spent sharing small daily moments before bed would disappear.

But still. This was the last resort I came up with after serious consideration. Yezar, who had already lowered the blanket he had pulled up to his neck, suggested another method.

“If you could give me a moment, I’ll calm it down quickly. I won’t show you any more unsightly appearances. From now on, I won’t touch even a hair on you, and instead of separate rooms, I’ll sleep on the sofa…”

“What if I say I don’t like that…?”

At my question, the corners of his eyes drooped infinitely.

“Do you really want separate rooms?”

“No, that’s not it.”

I should have continued, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it and just fiddled with my wrist instead. I couldn’t say that I didn’t like his declaration of not touching even a hair on me.

Of course, it was understandable. Yezar would still have the unhealed wounds of his first love. If I spoke like this, it would seem too much like I had feelings for him. It could also burden him unnecessarily.

“To appear as a loving couple, we need some skinship, right? But if we do as Yezar says, we won’t be able to hold hands, link arms, hug, or lean on each other anymore… I’m worried others might misunderstand…”

When he didn’t say anything, I panicked and started rambling more.

“I also thought of separate rooms as a last resort. Because I keep putting Yezar in awkward situations. I felt sorry for that. I really thought that maybe I was the trash and beast… Actually, I-! I’m an adult who knows everything, not as innocent as Yezar thinks!”

The last part was added out of a pang of conscience. I already knew everything. Yet he kept treating me like I was innocent, like some child who knew nothing.

Then, the man who had been listening quietly called my name gently with beautifully curved eyes.

“Julieta.”

“Yes.”

“Your face is red.”

“…You’re red too, Yezar.”

“We really are a couple who got married without dating, without these kinds of conversations, without these situations, aren’t we?”

I nodded carefully. Neither he nor I had experience dating or being lovey-dovey with someone. Without such experience, we had a lightning-fast contract marriage, so it was clear why we were surprised, shy, and flustered at everything.

“I’m sorry for acting so naively, my lady.”

“Me too. I’m sorry. I’m not used to men.”

“It’s the same for me. I’ve never been this close to any woman before.”

He was that kind of person. Because he knew the woman he liked didn’t have feelings for him. Because he was careful even with the slightest touch.

“To summarize, you don’t like that I won’t touch even a hair on you because it might look like a cold marital relationship, and I don’t like separate rooms. Shall we just continue as before?”

“And treat today’s incident as a simple mishap?”

Only then did he smile as usual. Although he was still covering his lower half with the blanket pulled up high.

“If you could do that, I would be grateful.”

“If I give you some time, will you return to your usual self and have a conversation with me?”

At my words, Yezar blushed as if embarrassed and answered softly.

“Yes, my lady. I’m… too embarrassed to share such intimate details with you.”

“That’s the same for me.”

Yezar quietly got up from his seat. I also said nothing and walked to the window, turning my head away.

Contract couple. Contract marriage. A life where everything is a lie. But still, if I recall the promise I made with him, at this moment, we’re probably just a shy couple, clumsy because everything is a first for us.

Thinking like that made it feel like a star candy was melting in my mouth.