I’m not okay……. The words rose up to the tip of my throat.

‘Ugh. What should I do.’

Looking at Yezar, who was gazing at me with such a pitiful expression, begging me to lean on him. It felt wrong to just cut things off sharply. And it would be terrible if he became gloomy because of my firm words, then quietly suffered alone.

“……Then, after summer passes, it won’t rain often anyway. Even if you want to rely on me, there won’t be any reason to. As long as thunder doesn’t strike, I’ll be fine.”

It would be fine to create some distance later, not right now. This seemed like the best choice.

Once summer ends, I won’t even hear the sound of rain. I won’t feel this lonely either.

“Shouldn’t we keep practicing?”

“Practicing?”

“Yes, wasn’t it practice at first, to get used to each other?”

“Oh.”

Now that I think about it, that’s right. Does that mean I’ll have to keep kissing him even after this season passes? Continuously…… until this contract marriage ends.

‘Hmm. What’s the probability that I won’t end up pouncing on Yezar?’

When I tried calculating that, no matter how hard I thought, it seemed to converge to zero. How many times had I drawn a line and then blurred it anyway?

“Haven’t we already gotten used to each other by now? Isn’t this much already familiar?”

I reached out and firmly pressed his lower lip. This level of contact had become familiar.

It wasn’t a lie, for either of us. Then he took my hand.

“Can my lady kiss me naturally in front of others as well?”

His lips gently settled on the back of my hand. The sensation made me tingle, and my cheeks flushed.

“That’s still…….”

“Then we haven’t gotten used to it yet.”

“No, I……!”

Crash—! A flash of light burst outside. Thunder rumbled. Instinctively, my body shrank. Had I forgotten to close the window? The chilling sound seemed to pierce my ears.

Surely, just this afternoon, the sky hadn’t been cloudy. When had the weather changed like this? I hated summer—how the weather could shift so suddenly. One moment clear, the next drenched in rain and thunder.

“Madam, are you alright?”

Yezar naturally pulled me into his arms. The doll I’d been holding slipped quietly down and fell onto the floor beside the bed.

Frightened, I instinctively buried myself into his embrace.

Certainly, it had been the same that day. Trembling violently in front of him like a terrified rabbit.

‘S-sorry! I-I was startled? I just dislike rain. Thunder is a bit scary…….’

He must have never seen me like this before, because he circled me anxiously.

‘Are you alright, Madam? What can I do for you……? If you’d feel better, wouldn’t you like to stay in my arms?’

When he opened his arms, I quickly dove in, babbling all sorts of things. Then, unable to hold back, I revealed my unease, and then…….

‘Our lips had touched.’

Just like then, the moment I slightly lifted my head, I saw his lips. Now, kissing him wasn’t awkward. In fact, it felt natural.

‘If I kiss him right now, this anxiety will fade…… Huh. No! I was trying to draw a line between us and Yezar.’

Startled, I quickly tried to pull away from his embrace. The closer I was to him, the more my thoughts drifted in the wrong direction.

“I-I’m fine! Really! You don’t need to hold me like this…….”

I desperately tried to separate myself from him. Then—rumble—! A sharp sound rang out again. A flash of light dazed my mind. My fingertips trembled.

“A, m-my body, why is it like this?”

Julietta’s body remained unstable, as if still trapped in the fears of childhood. Especially terrified of the sound of thunder.

Thunder made exactly the kind of sound that frightened little children. It felt somehow inappropriate for an adult to be so afraid.

‘I’m scared…….’

Loneliness and fear surged, a deep longing for someone to be beside me. As if mocking my attempt to pull away, his lips captured mine.

My trembling breath passed to him. The brief contact of lips parting left me wanting more.

‘……But this is strange. Why haven’t I calmed down yet today?’

Usually, when I shared breath with him in his arms, my trembling would subside. Now, I kept wanting to cover my ears.

I wanted to close the window, draw the curtains, crawl into the wardrobe, and bury myself somewhere.

“Haa, no……. Please, someone, make it stop…….”

“Madam, are you still afraid?”

His soothing voice was gentle, like comforting a child. Normally, when he comforted me like this, I’d feel better.

‘Why is this happening? Is my body unwell?’

I couldn’t understand the reason. It was the same familiar, affectionate contact as always. Then my mind should have calmed. Wait—familiar?

The first time he comforted me, just the touch of lips had startled me so much that I had no attention left for the thunder. Our breathing had been too deep, the moment too long.

I’d been too overwhelmed just focusing on that.

‘So now, because it’s not overwhelming anymore—because it’s become familiar—that’s why I’m like this? Could it be that I’ve grown so used to the warmth he gives me that it doesn’t calm me at all anymore—!’

What should I do. What can I do. I couldn’t keep trembling in his arms like this. Yezar would worry. I didn’t want to see that beautiful face filled with sorrow.

“Maybe it’s something like that. Yezar…….”

“Yes, Madam.”

His eyes held a sad light. Ah, really. I didn’t want to see that expression. I mustered courage and spoke.

“C-could you please put me inside the wardrobe for a moment? I think it’d be better to wait out the rain in there!”

“What?”

“I-I’ve been thinking. I think because I’ve grown used to kissing Yezar, I keep focusing on the thunder. It’s not that I dislike kissing, it’s just, ah!”

Thunder struck again. I couldn’t understand why the thunder was so frequent. Was a flood happening somewhere?

I barely calmed my heart and continued.

“……So, if I go inside the wardrobe and block out all the sound, I think I’ll be better.”

Yes. That way, he wouldn’t have to worry seeing me tremble, and I could completely block out the sound—no fear at all.

“So you’re saying that because you’ve grown used to kissing me, the thunder keeps bothering you?”

“Yes. At first, when you suddenly kissed me, my face burned and I was overwhelmed. Now, perhaps I’m not overwhelmed enough anymore…… so maybe that’s why I keep ending up like this.”

For a moment, Yezar fell silent. I hurriedly added.

“It’s my problem! You’ve done nothing wrong! Being alone is more unsettling and scarier than having you beside me.”

Mhm. So don’t get too hurt—just quickly put me in the wardrobe. I’ll endure it well and come out.

I was forcing a bright smile, hiding my fear as much as possible. Then his hand gently caught my chin, drawing me closer.

“Yezar……?”

“Then, if I do something more intense, will you stop being afraid?”

More intense than this?

“More intense? I’ve never tried, so I don’t really know…….”

His lips pressed against mine again, seamlessly. What was he trying to do? I could only blink. His lips slightly parted. My mind froze.

‘Wait, this is……!’

I was utterly confused by Yezar’s next actions. Was what I was feeling real? Could this be a dream? He would never do this to me……!

In my fluster, his lips briefly pulled away.

He carefully asked me.

“Do you dislike this……? Do you dislike me kissing you like this—for your sake?”

We’d only ever touched lips before. We’d never done anything like this. Staring at him like a dazed person, the thunder now seemed distant. Slowly, my trembling subsided.

My chaotic mind blurted out the truth without me realizing.

“I-I don’t dislike it.”

“Then may I continue?”

His hand gently stroked my cheek. I should push him away. But I couldn’t. The flashing lights and threatening sounds still raged outside.

My trembling body moved on its own, pressing firmly against his lips.

‘Right, our lips have already touched like this. This much is…….’

Making this silent compromise, I responded to him too.

‘Ah. My hands and feet are tingling.’

Outside was so noisy and frightening. Yet, in this space with him, I felt safe. Soon, his lips parted again.

A strange sound escaped from me, a soft groan. The situation felt unreal. The heat in his blue eyes, fixed solely on me, melted my body.

‘Ah. My heart feels like it’s about to burst.’

My wildly pounding heart seemed to reflect exactly how I felt right now.