The next day. I went to the study as usual, only to clutch my head and let out a silent scream.

That night, he smiled at me. Then he gently asked why I had been feeling down.

Recalling what I had answered, I slammed my head on the desk.

“Ah, it was because of my period. I didn’t want to say it in front of the knights.”

It was a lie. The truth was…

“After I acknowledged my feelings for Yezar, I didn’t want to talk about Bertisha!”

I really hated that Yezar cared about Bertisha. She was his first love and a friend he had been close to for so long.

If we started talking, he’d probably mention something about Bertisha again. Though I recalled how he had put up a wall against her, I couldn’t shake the anxiety that he might still have lingering feelings.

“Sigh… Why are you seeping into my heart like this…?”

I wanted to blame Yezar for no reason. Why was he so kind, melting my heart like that? At first, he had said that once we divorced, we’d be like strangers.

“Now I can’t even remember that time. What am I going to do!”

I had fallen for someone who would only bring me pain. If only this marriage wasn’t just a contract, I’d have thrown myself at him…

“Throw myself at him? What am I even thinking!”

Maybe because kissing him had become so familiar. It felt like taking the next step wouldn’t be so hard either.

I slapped my cheeks hard.

“Get a grip, Julietta. How could you think of devouring that innocent man!”

If he knew the dark thoughts in my mind, he’d probably run away in shock. How offended he’d be. He’s doing his best to keep up appearances as my contract husband, after all.

While I’m just trying to satisfy my own selfish desires.

“Maybe I should stop kissing him from now on. Getting used to physical closeness seems to be a big part of this…”

The more familiar his touch became, the more the impure thoughts in my head grew. To cool my head, I gulped down the cold water beside me.

Then I noticed the sword placed nearby. It was the sword Yezar had given me, his mother’s sword. I carefully reached out and held it. As I had seen last night, it was a beautiful sword.

“It feels good to hold. What did Mother feel when she swung this?”

Holding the sword made me want to spar, and naturally, Yezar came to mind as my sparring partner. It felt like all my thoughts led back to him.

This can’t go on. Really. I grabbed the quill again and focused on work. My back still ached a bit, but it was bearable. A moment later, the butler came in, cautiously speaking as he saw me.

“Madam, why are you working so hard? I heard you’re not feeling well. How about taking a break?”

I shook my head, rejecting the suggestion.

“No. I have too many stray thoughts, so I’d rather keep working.”

“Stray thoughts?”

“Yes. Pretty harmful ones, at that.”

They were beyond harmful. Even though he surely wouldn’t want my heart like this, my greed just kept growing.

“For Yezar’s future, I need to end this contract marriage flawlessly.”

That way, it could end well, and he could meet someone who would make him happy. Yes, someone better than me. Someone who could make him happier…

Crack.

“Madam, the quill… it’s broken!”

“Oh.”

I broke it.

“From the start, my goal was to erase Bertisha from his mind and let him meet a good woman to make him happy. How did it…”

Come to this?

“Madam, say ‘ah.’”

He cut a piece of well-cooked steak and brought it to my mouth. I naturally opened my mouth and ate it. The servants watching us had warm looks in their eyes.

“Come to think of it, when did this become so natural? I’m sure I was startled by it at first.”

I often ate with Yezar when our schedules aligned. Since our daily lives were busy, the only times we could talk were during training or before bed.

Whenever we had time, we always ate together. Maybe because I focused on work today, I finished early and was now eating with him like this.

Today, he was especially attentive to me. Was it because he knew I wasn’t feeling well?

“Madam, you need to keep your stomach warm.”

“But Yezar, it’s summer, so it’s too hot.”

At my small complaint, he smiled and took my hand.

“Even so. I’m just worried about you.”

“Again. He’s smiling so beautifully again.”

When he smiled like that, my heart kept softening like a marshmallow.

“This can’t go on. I’ve been too close with Yezar lately.”

Too close to call us a contract couple, yet too vague to call us a real couple—this relationship sometimes led to unnecessary thoughts.

“Hey, Yezar.”

“Yes, Madam.”

“I have something to talk about.”

“What kind of talk?”

He asked as he put more food in my mouth. I chewed it and answered.

“I don’t think we can talk about it here. I’d like to discuss it when we’re alone.”

“A secret talk?”

I nodded at his playful question.

“Yes, I want to talk about our… progress.”

The food he put in my mouth tasted different—less tangy, more sharp and sweet. I savored the surprising taste and swallowed.

“The chef must have made a new sauce. It’s delicious!”

The Ferhaem ducal chef’s skills seemed to improve every day. While I was casually talking about the food, Yezar dropped the knife he was holding.

“Huh? That’s unusual. He’s making mistakes at dinner.”

His face seemed to flush. And the servants around us were staring at me. Was it my imagination?

Unable to bear the sudden silence, I asked.

“Why is everyone looking at me like that? Is there something on my face?”

Did I say something I shouldn’t have? Then, Lopi spoke to me.

“Madam, I’ll prepare everything for tonight’s union right away, so please look forward to it.”

She smiled brightly. I realized, thinking back on what I’d said.

“…Oh! They misunderstood ‘progress’ as progress in the bedroom?”

My face flushed bright red. We’re a couple that doesn’t do anything in bed! We’ve only kissed a bit. Though that’s my fault, it’s been happening too often, so I just wanted to… put some distance.

If where I stood was shallow water, they seemed to be in the deep sea. I had no idea how to clear up this misunderstanding.

“But I can’t just say we don’t do anything in bed. How would I explain the traces left from our supposed unions? How would I explain why we don’t share a bed…!”

My mind was overloading. No matter what, this was bound to be an awkward situation. Then, Yezar, his face equally red, cautiously spoke to me.

“If you’re talking about a couple’s progress… it would be better to discuss it when we’re alone…”

I’m sorry, Yezar. Really sorry. I apologized to him in my head and answered.

“Yes…”

And so, night came, and I returned to the bedroom in despair.

“Lopi, you diligent maid…!”

Our bedroom had been transformed into one clearly meant for a grand event.

“Why is the bed’s canopy such a fluttery pink? And those heart-shaped petals decorating the bed? When did they rip down the curtains?”

The curtains matched the canopy, making me let out a hollow laugh. I checked, hoping there wasn’t a lack of clothing. Thankfully, the robe was still there. But the problem was that it was a summer robe.

“It’s thin. What do I do, it’s too thin!”

And this time, the room was too bright. If the light poured in like this, my skin would…

I needed drastic measures. Please, before Yezar arrived.

Then, the door clicked open. Startled, I grabbed the large stuffed toy by the bed and hugged it tightly.

“Y-Yezar. You’re here…?”

He smiled at me, looking around the bedroom. Then he exclaimed.

“I always feel it, but the maids really love decorating the bedroom.”

“Maybe it’s also because of what I said…”

Knowing I was the root of this, I looked away and spoke. He then noticed the stuffed toy I was clutching and asked.

“I haven’t seen that toy before. Did the maids put it there?”

“Oh, yes. It seems so. It’s cute, so I was holding it!”

In truth, I was holding it to hide my skin… Soon, he came closer to me. I tensed up and hugged the toy even tighter.

“It suits you, Madam. It’s cute.”

“…Thank you.”

“So why did you bring that up at dinner? We only share a bed, not fulfill a couple’s duties.”

“Y-Yes. Actually, what I meant to say was, we’ve been kissing a lot lately, haven’t we?”

And thinking about it, that was my fault too. He was just indulging my whims.

“Now that I think about it, I’m really awful.”

“Compared to before, yes.”

“So, I was thinking, it’s not right for me to keep relying on you, and I feel bad… so maybe we should reduce how often we do it.”

Yezar would surely understand and accept my opinion. If we put some distance like this, my selfish desires would lessen too.

But his response was different from what I expected.

“I don’t mind you relying on me, Madam. There’s no need to feel bad about it. We’re a couple, after all. So even if you keep kissing me, I’m fine with it, Madam.”