Well, I suppose it’s all right. After all, I also hope Lopi stays and works at the Ferhaem Dukedom for a long time.

“Yes. I understand how you feel. Now go back and rest. You seem tired and might want to sleep.”

“Yes, my lady!”

“My lady, please rest well.”

After confirming the door was completely closed, I briefly closed my eyes. Though the tea time had been unwelcome, attending it had allowed me to gain someone who could be of help to the dukedom.

Judging from Ember’s eyes lighting up at Lopi’s words, her work abilities probably weren’t bad.

Since she said she’d work until she died of old age, she wouldn’t quit easily. As she learned the work, she’d become deeply attached to the people at the ducal residence and turn into a useful servant there.

Truthfully, while I had decided to hire Lopi because of her character, there was another reason.

I wanted to leave behind at least one trace of my existence. Even after the two years ended and I was no longer the duchess, Lopi, whom I brought here, would remain.

I hoped that, even just occasionally, she’d remember my name with warmth. Even though I knew it was selfish of me.

‘Really, I shouldn’t be indulging in such selfishness.’

Why was I acting this way? I’d been quite good at giving up and accepting things.

‘Why is this happening? I’ve never coveted what wasn’t mine. I’ve adapted to reality and let go, doing just fine all along.’

Even his warm affection would eventually fade with time. The title “Duchess,” and the honorific “wife”—none of it truly belonged to me.

When time passed and the end approached, would I be able to gradually let go of my desires, shedding them until I could discard them completely, as I had done back at the count’s estate? I’d once been certain I could. Now, I wasn’t so sure.

***

After witnessing his wife’s misstep, Yezar strictly controlled her outings. The mere thought that she had climbed up and down multiple stories relying only on a single rope made him dizzy with fear.

When Julietta casually replied that such things were nothing to worry about, he nearly facepalmed. His wife occasionally acted as if she didn’t care what happened to her own body.

That angered Yezar. To him, her body was incomparably precious.

‘Still, she said she’d ask for permission before going out now. Maybe I should ease up on the restrictions?’

She had always been such a free-spirited woman. If he kept controlling her, she’d surely feel stifled. Just thinking of Julietta, Yezar found his heart involuntarily softening.

He had come to see her after taking some time, troubled by how stern he’d been with her lately.

But strangely, her study was quiet. Approaching slowly, he saw Julietta’s face, flushed with sleep. Yezar carefully sat beside her.

He didn’t wish to disturb his drowsily sleeping wife. Sitting beside her, he gently, gently smoothed her softly waving hair.

Her red lips parted slightly.

“… want…”

Her voice was too soft to hear clearly. She must have been talking in her sleep. He listened, wondering how someone could mutter so adorably in their dreams. Then her next words tugged at Yezar’s heart.

“I miss you… Mom…”

“Madam…”

“Don’t go. Please…”

What sorrow and longing weighed on her? Her eyes had already grown damp. Julietta’s fingertips twitched and trembled.

Yezar covered her hand with his. As if waiting for it, Julietta’s hand tightly grasped his—so strongly, as if afraid of losing him.

“Can’t I stay?”

“… Don’t go.”

“Can’t I share your sorrows and stand by your side?”

Knowing she couldn’t hear, Yezar still whispered to her. He wished he could fill her loneliness. He desperately hoped her eyes would never blur with sadness again.

“… Leaving me behind.”

“I won’t leave you behind.”

If he had intended to abandon her, he never would have proposed a contract marriage in the first place. He would have wished her happiness and blessed her marriage to another man.

“I’m not the pure, noble man you think I am. I was driven by selfish desire, keeping you beside me entirely for my own sake. So I won’t leave you.”

Even if, in the future, she came to resent him upon learning this truth, every moment with Julietta brought Yezar happiness.

He wanted to be by Julietta’s side, not circling around Bertisha, whom he couldn’t resist as if bound by fate.

He worried more about Julietta’s safety than Bertisha’s well-being. Now, his thoughts always ended with Julietta. His fingers gently wiped away Julietta’s tears.

“Please don’t cry where I’m not there, Julietta.”

Just as she always told him. He, too, preferred her smiling face over her tears. When he saw her smile—bright like a blazing sun—he found himself utterly helpless.

***

It had been a long time since I’d had such a dream. A family with blurred faces appeared. They called my name in indistinct voices, then seated me at the dinner table.

Bubbling doenjang stew, glistening bulgogi, and familiar home dishes. Steamed rice with beans—what Mom always said was good for the body—was placed before me. I instinctively complained about the side dishes, and Mom scolded me.

“Why are you refusing to eat something good for you? Beans are so healthy.”

Then Dad chimed in.

“That’s right. Mom even made your favorite bulgogi. Eat up.”

Even the annoying younger brother spoke to me.

“Hey. If you’re gonna complain about the side dishes, should I just eat them all?”

It was a familiar conversation. It had been a while since the younger brother appeared in my dreams. He was just like Weaslet—extremely irritating, my annoying sibling.

Reluctantly, I picked up my spoon and chopsticks, chewing each bite thoroughly. I grumbled as I ate, but strangely, tears welled up.

Tears wouldn’t stop, streaming endlessly down my cheeks. My family grew concerned and asked.

“What’s wrong? Did something get in your eye?”

“Daughter, did something bad happen?”

“Hey… did I say something to make you cry?”

I couldn’t remember any of the names they called me. I couldn’t even recall their faces. Even in the dream, their faces were blurred, as if pixelated, surrounding me.

If this was how it would be, they’d have been better off not appearing at all. They hadn’t shown up in dreams for a long time. I couldn’t return. What could I possibly do by appearing like this? All I could do was miss them.

I knew well how this dream would end. The dinner table before me, the family—all would vanish far away. In the end, I’d be left alone in an empty space.

I missed them. Even though I knew my past life was over and I could never return.

“I miss my family.”

At first, being possessed here felt like a curse.

“I miss you… Mom…”

Even though I knew longing only made it harder, I kept seeking them.

“Don’t go. Please…”

Why did everyone leave me behind? Why did I always end up alone? Why did I keep having this dream?

Just as despair overwhelmed me, a large, soft rice cake appeared before me. Looking up closely, I saw a puppy with golden fur gazing at me. The puppy gently licked my hand.

As if trying to comfort me. But even so, this was just an illusion of my dream. Since my family wasn’t here, this was just a figment I’d summoned out of loneliness.

In the end, I was still alone.

“… Don’t go. Don’t leave me behind.”

As I said that, the puppy that had been licking my hand snuggled into my arms, as if taking the words as meant for itself.

Foolishly, I was now even hearing hallucinations.

Telling me it wouldn’t leave me behind. Telling me not to cry where it wasn’t there.

I tightly hugged the puppy nestled in my arms. Yes, whether this was my illusion or my hallucination, at least the end of today’s lonely dream felt warm.

That was enough. At least it wasn’t a nightmare.

A short while later, I woke from the dream and blinked my eyes. The sunlight pouring down and the breeze blowing were just as they’d been before I fell asleep.

The creaking rocking chair remained unchanged. There was no sign anyone had come while I slept. I stretched my arms fully and gazed up at the bright sky for a moment.

Whenever I dreamed of my family, I always felt gloomy afterward. But today, for some reason, I didn’t feel bad.

“Did the puppy in my dream take away all my sadness?”

Thinking this, I couldn’t help but smile. I’d heard that dreaming of a dog wasn’t particularly auspicious, nor was it a bad omen. If I dreamed of my family again, I hoped the big, soft rice cake puppy would come running to me.

And this time, I’d be the one to hug it tightly first.

***

Time passed, and a week went by. Finally, the long-awaited spring outing with the ladies had arrived. My gloomy mood completely gone, I happily prepared to join the other ladies for the spring outing.

I also wanted to grow closer to the Duchess of Widon and the Countess of Pireoa, whom I’d met before, aside from the Marchioness Stemun.

‘This time, I must absolutely prevent rumors from spreading about Yezar being a beast who pounces on his wife every night.’

This time, I’d prepared even more thoroughly than before. Dressed in a light spring dress and adorned accordingly, I headed toward the carriage.

Of course, there was one unexpected variable…

“Madam, please climb in carefully. I’ll hold your hat so the wind doesn’t blow it away.”

Somehow, this had turned into a couples’ spring outing.