“Yezar?”

“No, it really won’t do…….”

Looking at Yezar struggling to catch his breath in embarrassment, strange thoughts began creeping, creeping into my mind again. I turned my gaze away from him and spoke.

“I understand. But could you please let go of my wrist? It hurts a bit.”

“S-sorry! Are you alright?”

I gently rubbed my wrist and nodded.

“Yes, I’m fine. I guess I pressed too hard myself? Haha.”

“It did seem rather forceful…….”

It was clearly a conversation no different from usual. Yet the silence settling down felt oddly awkward and uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure what mindset I’d been in while touching his body.

Fanning myself with my hand, I tried my best to remain calm.

“I’ll get up now. My posture feels a bit strange……. Hm?”

My effort to avoid looking at his face unexpectedly led me to notice something. Something thick was stuffed inside his right pants pocket.

Thinking how difficult it must’ve been to even walk with that in his pocket, I casually asked him.

“Yezar, what did you put in your right pocket?”

“What?”

“Or is it some kind of training tool?”

His gaze instantly shifted to his right pants, and immediately, his face turned bright red. His neck flushed as well, and he sadly lowered the corners of his eyes, turning his head away.

“I-I’m sorry. I’m a beast.”

“What?”

After calling himself trash, now he was calling himself a beast too. Wondering why he was acting this way, I suddenly recalled a scene from a high-tension, exhausting, captivity-themed novel.

That is, the heroine’s lines she’d scream in an 18+ scene when disgusted by the male lead……

‘Please, stop that.’

‘H-how could you! It’s no different from a weapon.’

A training tool appearing out of nowhere. A weapon. The heroine’s lines from that novel filled with flesh-colored spectacle.

Understanding everything, I quickly pulled the blanket over him.

“I’m sorry for constantly touching your body.”

This was all my fault. Why did I keep massaging and pressing on his body in the first place……

“No, it’s my body reacting on its own…… causing you to see such a shameful sight.”

Tears welled up in Yezar’s eyes, and the more he lowered his gaze, the heavier my guilt grew.

“A-any healthy man could react that way! It’s not about excitement—just repeated stimulation can cause it, right?”

“…….”

“Why aren’t you answering?”

His voice trembled. Yezar, who had pulled the blanket I gave him up to his neck, was speaking to me like a convicted criminal.

“……I’m trash, a beast. Please punish me severely, Madam. I’d rather be struck by you.”

At this rate, he’d probably avoid me the moment dawn broke tomorrow. No—he was already avoiding my eyes and touch.

The moment I moved even slightly away from him, Yezar would undoubtedly rush to the corner of the bed and cling to the blanket like it was his lifeline. This wasn’t just a hunch—it was absolute certainty.

“I don’t hit anyone. And besides, my husband would be upset if even a single scratch appeared. Yezar, look at me.”

“How can someone so filthy look upon a pure and spotless lady…….”

The man speaking these words looked nothing short of immaculate. Yezar didn’t realize this because he couldn’t see himself properly.

No speck of worldly stain on him—like Grade One purified water—and yet he sobbed claiming he was dirty? To me, it only looked endearing.

Originally, due to his long unrequited love, he’d had no contact with women, so naturally, a woman’s touch would be unfamiliar to him. My constant rubbing and touching here and there might have unintentionally become stimulating.

‘Of course his body would react differently from his will when he’s not used to it. How can he keep blaming himself like this?’

Besides, I’d had some truly awful thoughts too. I should be relieved that Yezar wasn’t some superhuman who could read my mind.

“What are you talking about? Who’s as clear and pure as Yezar?”

“How could someone so pure and clean react so indecently toward such a precious lady…….”

He spoke piercing words with eyes fully flushed. I should’ve noticed his signal telling me to stop in the first place.

I felt sorry for startling him.

“Yezar’s not used to this sort of thing, and it’s all unfamiliar to him. You reacted only because I kept rubbing and massaging you. So don’t look so teary, okay?”

“Don’t you find me disgusting? Even if not disgusting, I thought you’d at least be somewhat disappointed in me.”

Where was he trying to take this? Unable to bear it any longer, I tightly grabbed the hand of the terrified man and cried out.

“What are you even saying! Who do I find disgusting! Don’t think of me as a wretched wife who feels such things toward my husband, who seriously listened to my innermost thoughts when no one else would, comforted me, and stayed by my side!”

“M-Madam.”

“If you keep talking like that, then I’m the wretched beast and trash. The one touching Yezar’s chest, pretending to be an insatiable beast who lusts after his wife every night, spreading rumors to make up for hurting Yezar’s feelings, touching him all over like this…… and then ending up like this…….”

The more I listed my wrongs, the more I felt like the trash. I’d done many wretched things to him all along.

“Yes. Yezar, I’m the trash and the beast. You’ve done nothing wrong at all.”

Even if unintentional, I’d caused him distress multiple times. Now was the time for me to make a decision.

“What if we temporarily sleep in separate rooms……?”

The answer came instantly.

“No.”

It was a firm refusal.

“What?”

My attempt to muster courage and suggest something was instantly cut down. Of course, I didn’t actually want separate rooms either. Doing so wouldn’t only worry the servants, but rumors of discord would follow. Most importantly, I’d lose those quiet moments before sleep—sharing little bits of daily life with him.

But still. This was my last resort, offered after serious deliberation. Yezar, who had lowered the blanket from his neck, now offered another solution.

“If Madam could grant me a brief moment, I’ll calm down immediately. I won’t show you such an ugly sight again. From now on, I won’t touch even a single hair on your body—I’d rather sleep on the sofa instead of separate rooms.”

“But what if I say I don’t want that……?”

At my question, the corners of his eyes drooped endlessly.

“Do you truly want separate rooms?”

“No, that’s not what I mean.”

I should’ve continued, but couldn’t bring myself to speak, instead fiddling with my wrist. I couldn’t say I disliked his declaration of not touching even a single hair on me.

Of course not. Yezar still carried the unhealed wound of his first love. Saying this might make it seem like I had feelings for him. I might burden him unnecessarily.

“Some physical contact is necessary to appear like a loving couple. But with the way you’re suggesting, I won’t be able to hold hands, link arms, hug, or lean on you anymore……. It might cause misunderstandings.”

When he said nothing, I panicked and started rambling.

“I only considered separate rooms as a last resort too. I keep troubling you, Yezar, and I feel guilty. I even wonder if I’m not the trash and beast here……. Actually, I’m—! Not nearly as innocent as you think—I’m a grown adult who knows everything!”

The last sentence was added out of guilt. I already knew everything. Yet he kept treating me like an innocent child who knew nothing.

Then, after quietly listening, he gently curved the corners of his eyes and softly called my name.

“Julietta.”

“Yes?”

“Your face is red.”

“……You’re red too, Yezar.”

“We’re truly a married couple who jumped straight into marriage without any romance, without ever having conversations or situations like this before.”

I carefully nodded. Neither of us had ever dated or experienced sweet, fluttering relationships. We’d entered a lightning-fast contract marriage, so it was no wonder we were startled, shy, and flustered by even the smallest things.

“I’m sorry for behaving so naively, Madam.”

“No, I’m the one who should apologize. I’m sorry. I’m just not used to men.”

“The same goes for me. I’ve never been this close to any woman before.”

That was exactly who he was. He knew the woman he loved didn’t return his feelings. He’d been careful even about the slightest physical contact.

“To sum up, Madam dislikes the idea of our marriage appearing cold and detached because I won’t touch even a single hair on you, and I dislike separate rooms. So shall we just continue as before?”

“Shall we treat today’s incident as a simple mishap?”

Only then did he smile as he usually did. Though he still kept the blanket pulled high up, covering his lower half.

“I’d be grateful if you could.”

“If I give you a moment, will you return to your usual self and talk with me normally?”

Yezar blushed shyly and softly answered.

“Yes, Madam. It’s just… I’m still very embarrassed to share such private matters with you.”

“That… applies to me too.”

Quietly, Yezar got up from his place. I said nothing, turned my head, and walked toward the window.

Contract spouses. A contract marriage. A life built entirely on falsehood. But still, recalling the promise I’d made with him, at this very moment, perhaps we were just a shy, inexperienced couple fumbling through everything for the first time.

Thinking this, it felt as if a candy star was melting in my mouth.