Saved Him, Now I'm Obsessed - Chapter 59

Even though I said it was a joke, Ian was looking at me with a disgruntled expression as if reading my inner thoughts. At times like this, I wonder if Ian has mind-reading abilities rather than prophetic powers.

“…..”

“But really, isn’t it true? Be honest with me. I promise I won’t tell anyone. Besides, even if I did, no one would believe me…”

Seemingly tired of my jokes, he reached out his hand to me and said,

“Stop talking nonsense and take my hand. It’s easier to trip when it gets dark.”

I silently took his hand. Indeed, the cemetery after sunset was perfect for tripping.

As night fell, the cemetery without a single light felt eerie and lonely. The caretaker said the cemetery was more beautiful at night, but how can you appreciate beauty when you can’t see anything?

“They said the gravekeeper flowers glow when the sun sets, but it’s just pitch black. It’s still mysteriously enchanting though!”

The sight of elaborately carved tombstones lined up in rows was unique, and the red sunset settling over them was incredibly poetic.

However, there was no change in the gravekeeper flowers that were supposed to glow at night. Perhaps due to high expectations, disappointment washed over me. And just as I was about to suggest we head back,

“Oh! That’s glowing now, right?”

Finally, as if welcoming the moonlight, the gravekeeper flowers began to emit a soft glow one by one. Ian and I stopped in our tracks, waiting for all the flowers to be bathed in light.

It felt like we had entered the middle of a starry night sky. With no houses or streetlights around, only the soft glow of the gravekeeper flowers illuminating the pitch-black darkness caught our eyes.

Ian and I stood there for a long time, hand in hand, watching the faint, gentle light settle over the entire cemetery. When we had become somewhat accustomed to the beautiful scene, I said,

“I’m so excited to go to the Imperial Library. The number of books must be enormous. And the variety too.”

Ian asked quizzically in response to my question,

“We’ve been there together before.”

At those words, I racked my brain. But I had no memory of going to the Imperial Library.

“Me?”

No matter how much I searched my memories, nothing clear came to mind. If I had gone to the Imperial archives, it should have been a special occasion for me, so even if it was long ago, it should be as vivid as a memory from a few days ago, but my mind was just blank.

“It was when I was about 7 years old? We went together… Because there was a book Jane really wanted to see.”

“Do you remember what book I wanted to read?”

“Of course. It was a book called ‘Aquatic Botany’. Written by an author named Siem Reap… It was a book with lots of illustrations. About this big, with a blue cover and silver foil…”

Ian described the book in detail. Yet I, who supposedly read the book, had no recollection of it at all.

Of course, hearing the title, it did sound like a book I would have wanted to see. After pondering for a while, I vaguely remembered wanting to see that book at some point.

“Siem Reap… Isn’t that the artist famous for lotus paintings?”

Siem Reap was more famous as an artist than a botanist. He was a nobleman but not very sociable.

Rather than going out of his mansion to socialize with people, he preferred to capture the seasonal changes of his pond in paintings. He must have had quite a talent for painting, as his resulting works gained considerable attention.

I had heard about him by chance from a bookstore owner. And when I heard that he had a book documenting observations of the plants living in his pond, I became quite interested. I just couldn’t remember actually seeing the book.

“Do you remember now?”

Ian asked with an expectant voice. Unfortunately, I had to shake my head.

“I don’t remember going to the archives or reading that book. But I do know that I wanted to see it.”

“I don’t understand. Jane, you have a good memory. Especially when it comes to books you’ve read, you never forget. But to have no memory at all… Should we find a healer?”

He stopped in his tracks, looking for a solution with a serious face. I, on the other hand, felt it wasn’t a big deal.

I had died and come back to life, so I didn’t think it mattered much if I couldn’t clearly remember looking at a book. Feeling that Ian was taking it too seriously, I joked to lighten the mood.

“Could it be a side effect of taking over someone else’s body? Maybe some memories disappeared when I possessed Claire’s body…”

“If that’s really the case, seeing a healer would be useless. Should we call a priest? No, that won’t do either.”

Ian seemed worried that if we unnecessarily called a priest, I might disappear from the body I was in. Is he really thinking I might be exorcised?

“I was joking. Why are you taking it so seriously? Your Highness, when you were 10, that was a very long time ago. It’s natural for memories of old events to be fuzzy.”

“I see… In that case, I’ll bring that book to the medical department later.”

“Isn’t that book in the library? We’re going there tomorrow, so we can see it then.”

“I haven’t returned it yet.”

How long ago was that, and he still hasn’t returned it? He said it so confidently that I even wondered if it was okay not to return it.

Or is it okay because he’s the Crown Prince? Come to think of it, he’ll inherit the Calrobanean Empire from the Emperor, so the library will be his too, so it’s okay to keep a book from there? I felt a bit confused.

Nevertheless, I was excited at the prospect of seeing a book with illustrations lovingly drawn by a promising artist.

Distracted by the gravekeeper flowers with Ian, we only managed to arrive home quite late at night after the sun had set.

Ian, who had brought me home by carriage, said with a somewhat regretful look, “I’ll come pick you up early tomorrow.”

“Are you really going to drive me to and from work every day?”

Ian nodded as if it was obvious in response to my question. He seemed uneasy about me going to and from the Imperial Palace alone. Was he worried I might get lost again? I must have shown him too many instances of my inability to find my way recently.

“You don’t need to do that. I used to go to and from the Imperial Palace just fine before, remember? Back then, I even had to rent a carriage, but now I just need to ride in the McCain family’s carriage. I could even catch a ride with Count McCain when he goes to work.”

I joked that while Ian’s carriage was nice, the McCain family carriage was quite comfortable too.

Whereas before I had to go to the carriage rental place, now I could get on right from the mansion, so I’d arrive at the Imperial Palace in the blink of an eye.

“Jane.”

He reached out and held my hand tightly, calling my name in a low voice. In response to his lowered voice, I cautiously answered, “What is it?”

“If there’s a moment I regret most in my life, it’s leaving Jane alone then. It’s my fault. That’s how Jane died.”

“How is that Your Highness’s fault? The fire started while I was sleeping. It was just an accident.”

“No. Even if it was an accident, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have left Jane alone in that old pharmacy. I regret it. I should have kept Jane by my side, even if I had to be stubborn about it. If I had, such a tragedy wouldn’t have happened.”

“If we’re going to argue like that, it would be my fault. After grandfather passed away, I was the one who refused the offer to stay in the Imperial Palace out of concern for me being alone in the pharmacy, and I was the one who asked to remove the people assigned to protect me. But I don’t think that was my fault. And of course, it’s not Your Highness’s fault either. That incident was just meant to happen.”

Ian’s grip on my hand tightened. Through his hand, I could feel his anxiety, guilt, and confusion. Death seems to leave deeper scars on those left behind than on the one who dies.

Ian’s reluctance to leave my side even for a moment must be largely due to such anxious feelings. Ian now seemed like a child once abandoned by his parents.

“Alright, if you’re that anxious. It’s convenient for me. You’re taking me back and forth every time. I must be the only person in the Calrobanean Empire who uses the Crown Prince like a coachman.”

At my words, he finally relaxed his expression and smiled.

“If Jane wants, I’ll even drive the carriage myself.”

“No need. Do you think being a coachman is easy? Especially driving a carriage in a crowded capital is an extremely difficult task!”

I was about to talk about how many accidents are caused by carriages and how horrific those accidents are, but I stopped, feeling like I was responding too seriously to Ian’s joke. It was also getting quite late.