Nothing changed.
For some reason, Leoprick decided to take the original route.
Betty and I pretended not to know and guided the horses along the path we were already familiar with.
Even though he knew we could run into Lloyd if we continued this way, why didn’t Leoprick change the route?
I pondered over this thought the entire time as we rode our horses.
Leoprick and Lloyd were cousins, but they weren’t particularly close.
There were many times when Lloyd’s mother openly committed absurd acts using her status as the Emperor’s younger sister…
But there were also reasons why Leoprick and Lloyd were inherently incompatible.
Thinking about why the two of them didn’t get along, it was actually quite obvious.
Only now was I beginning to see their true natures clearly and evaluate them coldly.
Lloyd, who appeared warm and friendly to everyone, but in reality had ulterior motives behind every action and constantly made calculations.
Leoprick, who wasn’t always kind but treated everyone equally and was the same on the inside and outside.
There was no way these two people, who had no connection beyond blood ties, could be close.
Of course, out of courtesy for his aunt, Leoprick always tried to treat Lloyd with the utmost respect.
However, Lloyd flaunted around as if he were a prince, riding on the back of his mother who had once been showered with overflowing love.
Even though none of the things bestowed upon Reinhart were given to him.
“We’ll reach the village soon if we go a bit further.”
One of the knights leading the way turned his head and shouted towards the back.
At those words, I felt Leoprick, who was riding beside me, looking at me.
But I didn’t turn my gaze.
I had been like that all day.
Whenever he had something to say to me, he would turn his head towards me, and even though I was aware of it, I didn’t meet his gaze.
I wanted to say that my mind was just too preoccupied with thinking and worrying about Lloyd and him, but in fact…
‘Do you have the confidence that you won’t regret it?’
The more I thought about my relationship with Lloyd, the more I contemplated how I should treat him, ironically, the clearer Leoprick’s words became.
Because I couldn’t forget what I had done to him in my previous life.
At the same time, I realized how absurd his current kindness and consideration towards me were.
I began to realize how ridiculous it was for me to be by his side right now.
So how could I dare to look him in the eye?
“I see the village over there, Mer.”
Even when Betty, who was following behind me, spoke to me, I had been lost in such thoughts the whole time.
Things like whether the direction I was currently taking was truly right, whether what I was doing now was really for his sake, and so on.
And when I turned my gaze at Betty’s words that interrupted those thoughts…
“……”
Ironically, as if to tell me that my thoughts were wrong…
I had to tightly shut my mouth at the sight of that jet-black hair in the distance.
[This is the timeline separator]It was a dusky time when the sun had passed the mountain ridge.
We arrived at the village and found lodgings.
As it was a village on the road leading to the capital, there were several inns, and we were able to avoid the worst situation I had anticipated.
“He doesn’t seem to be here.”
Betty, who had already sensed my worries early on, whispered softly so only I could hear.
I lightly nodded my head.
It was fortunate, but that wasn’t my only concern.
I wouldn’t have been the only one who looked towards the village at Betty’s words, and even earlier at the knight’s shout.
Did they see it too then?
Lloyd Alois, who would be staying somewhere in this village.
Just as I had seen him, did they see him too?
What if they misunderstood and thought I had called him here?
“Mer, are you alright?”
And those thoughts of mine were interrupted by Leoprick, who suddenly blocked my view.
“What? Why all of a sudden……”
“Ah, it’s just that you looked a bit pale.”
“Ah……”
Was I so lost in worries that even my complexion had changed?
I took a step back from him, who had come unexpectedly close, and shook my head.
“No, it’s nothing. I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong.”
“If that’s the case, I’m glad.”
“I’m sorry for concerning you. You don’t need to worry.”
When I politely spoke while even gesturing with my hands, he didn’t approach me further or ask any more questions.
He simply nodded quietly with a somewhat bitter expression.
“Shall we go up then? Fortunately, they say there are many rooms.”
We should be able to rest well tonight.
He pointed to the stairs with a small smile.
He even cracked an uncharacteristic joke, saying we could rest well in our rooms tonight.
Seeing him ramble on even with pointless remarks, as if trying to lift my mood, I felt a bit guilty.
But it’s not like I could reveal what I had been worrying about until just now.
Instead of explaining anything, I chose to smile back at him.
“Everyone must be tired, so it’s a good thing. Then I’ll head up first. Let’s go, Betty.”
As I took a step and spoke to Betty, the girl standing next to me tilted her head.
As if asking why I was calling her.
“You and I are sharing a room, aren’t we?”
“You had decided to share a room with Leo, Mer.”
Betty gave the obvious answer to my question.
While spouting nonsense about how she could dare to share a room with me.
When I made a dumbfounded expression, Betty smiled awkwardly and made a helpless face.
“I have no power at all, Mer.”
Even saying such irritating things.
And Leoprick, who was standing next to her, had a somewhat delighted expression on his face.
[This is the timeline separator]“Why on earth do we have to share a room even here?”
In a situation where everyone would know that we are married, I guess it can’t be helped.
Not only for my sake but also for Leoprick’s prestige, and in any case, since there are people’s eyes on us, it would be necessary to act like a loving couple as much as possible.
But right now, we were all clearly people of the same gender to anyone’s eyes.
In such a situation, there was no reason for me to share a room with Leoprick again.
But why?
“Do you dislike sharing a room with Leo that much? You’ll have to share it for the rest of your life anyway!”
Betty retorted in a low voice while glancing around.
She had a face that couldn’t understand what the problem was.
It’s not wrong, but do we really have to do this even in this situation?
I also want to sleep comfortably sometimes.
Moreover, after thinking about him the whole way here and briefly seeing Lloyd before entering the village, there’s no way I could fall asleep in the same room as him without any thoughts.
I let out a small sigh and shook my head.
“But isn’t it strange for us to share a room even in this situation?”
“What’s so strange about it? He’s someone you’ll have to spend your whole life with anyway, so you’re just gradually getting used to it little by little.”
Betty shrugged her shoulders as if it wasn’t a big deal.
But I didn’t respond to those words and just smiled wryly.
Spending a lifetime together, huh?
When I have to let him go as soon as all the plans are successfully completed.
Leoprick was kind.
He was kinder, more affectionate, and more considerate than I had thought.
He always put me first and tried to accommodate everything to my standards whenever possible.
That was something I already knew, having lived with him for 7 years, and it was also an aspect of him that was becoming more prominent after the regression.
The problem was that it was getting further and further away from the initial plan.
“Look at him now. If it were me, I’d stick right by the side of someone like that, thinking how nice it would be to have them.”
With that, Betty glanced sideways behind her.
Following her gaze, I saw Leoprick smiling brightly from a slight distance away.
I had told him that I felt uncomfortable being with him for a long time and would go for a walk around the area until bedtime.
Then he readily volunteered to escort us, saying it was dangerous for the two of us to go alone.
When I showed signs of discomfort, he said he would make sure not to make me uncomfortable and even walked at a distance like that.
He was being considerate of me even in moments like this.
“I don’t understand why the scions of families famous for their close bonds don’t act as they’ve seen and learned.”
“Usually, normal nobles aren’t like this.”
“That’s the normal for those people. The normal for people who grew up seeing such parents and such surroundings every day. Wasn’t your normal much more romantic and cozy than that, Mer?”
Betty made a face that couldn’t understand.
Then she lowered her voice and whispered.
“That’s why you were so passionate towards the young duke too.”
Because what you saw and learned was such a passionate and romantic love.
Because you saw and learned from your father, who continued to only look at and miss that person even after your mother passed away.
So that’s why you clung to Lloyd like that, she asked.
But now, why are you suddenly talking about the normal of nobles?
Betty was asking that with her eyes and expression.
I understood what she meant.
It’s not that I don’t understand why Betty is saying such things, but……
“It’s not such a simple issue, Betty.”
It was easy to love Lloyd.
Because he approached me with an impression that seemed perfectly suited for me to anyone’s eyes.
And as the treasured daughter of the Marquis of Vermerian in my younger days, I didn’t have many restrictions on getting what I wanted.
I wanted to be by his side, and that was something not too difficult for the daughter of the Marquis of Vermerian to have.
But loving Leoprick is different.
Just as the weight of becoming the wife of the Duke of Alois is different from becoming the Crown Princess of the Empire.
I wasn’t someone who was only responsible for the inner workings of a noble family in the Empire, and Leoprick wasn’t the heir to a family waiting to inherit everything from his father.
I had to become the mother of the Empire, encompassing the entire Empire.
Leoprick was someone who had to stand shoulder to shoulder with His Majesty the Emperor and be responsible for the lives and livelihoods of millions of imperial citizens.
How could it be possible to have ordinary love games with such a person like others do?
And how could it be possible to do that with Leoprick, whom I had killed with my own hands?
I smiled bitterly as I let out a long sigh.
Even if he were to say something like he loves me, I would have to be the first to push him away.
“I don’t know what’s not so simple, but you tend to overthink things sometimes, Mer.”
In fact, most of the time, there’s no need to think so much about it.
Betty, who had lived longer than me, shook her head with an elderly expression.
Saying things like life is only lived once, so I think too much.
“Sometimes, Mer, it’s not bad to act as if you’re living without any thoughts.”
“How can a person act as if they’re living without any thoughts? There are so many times in the world when you have to think before acting.”
“Ah, come on. Who thinks and acts every single minute and second? There are times when it’s okay to just do what your heart tells you.”
Just like how it’s not a big deal to stay in bed a few more minutes because you don’t want to get up in the morning.
Betty smiled playfully, adding softly.
The heart is like that too, she said.
“So don’t think too much right now and just act as your heart tells you. That’s the ‘normal’ you saw and learned, isn’t it?”
People should live according to what they’ve seen and learned, Betty smiled.
Not knowing that it only made my heart more complicated.
Turns Out He’s Been Secretly in Love with Me
One-line summary: He acts like he doesn’t like her but is actually playing hard to get.
Synopsis:
Xu Muzhou like her. He has liked her for a very long time, and through repeated schemes, he finally closed the distance with her.
But this is still far from enough.
He wants to be the one who stands out among her many suitors, to fight for her attention, and to make her take the initiative to pursue him.
_____
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