Pregnant With The Wolf's Child (Completed Main Story) - Chapter 5
“They said it’s the key to Rachel’s old room.”
Rachel was Larien’s mother.
“I’ll be going now.”
Without further explanation, she forced the key into my hand and hurried away.
‘Is there something inside?’
The key jingled as it swayed.
I’d always been curious about that room, locked tightly since long ago.
I went up to Rachel’s room and unlocked the door with the key.
‘It’s clean.’
Though traces of Rachel’s presence remained—evidence she had once lived here—it was kept meticulously clean.
‘The Duchess must have been taking care of it.’
…Perhaps, belatedly, she felt remorse toward her friend.
On one wall hung Rachel’s portrait.
‘She looks just like Larien—the hazel eyes, the gentle curls.’
Rachel’s pink eyes held a warmth like that of a spring day.
I gently touched Larien’s hazel hair, so much like Rachel’s.
“…Darling, truthfully, I wish you’d looked more like Larien.”
I wanted to preserve—even through you—the soft, curly hazel hair that Larien’s mother had passed down.
It was guilt over having stolen Larien’s life.
Entering the bedroom, I found a diary resting on the nightstand.
‘This is…’
I sat on the edge of the bed and opened the diary.
[ April 1, 812.Today was the first day I learned I was with child. When I told Royne, he scooped me up and twirled me around.
You’re still so tiny I can’t even tell if you’re really there yet, but, my darling, Mama and Papa are overjoyed you’ve come to us. ]
‘So Rachel started writing this the day she found out about Larien.’
[ April 28, 812.Darling, Papa seems to really hope you’re a girl.
He’s already chosen the name “Larien” and whispers it to my belly every night.
He says it means “to be loved and cherished.” Mama would be happy whether you’re a boy or a girl. ]
‘The Duke wanted a daughter? Not a son?’
I was astonished that he’d hoped for a daughter even before her birth and had already picked her name.
‘But the Duke only ever saw Uriel as his true child.’
I couldn’t picture Duke Bellaste as someone who’d once loved Larien.
It felt utterly foreign. I carefully turned the page.
[ May 7, 812.Darling, the weather is absolutely perfect today. Lately, Mama and Papa have been making a little wager:
Will you grow up to be a sparrow like Mama, or an eagle like Papa?
Papa thinks you’ll become a sparrow. He says he’d prefer it if you weren’t an eagle. But really, does it matter if you’re a sparrow or an eagle?
All we want is for you to be born healthy—though your Papa seems to wish for far too much.
He really is greedy. Say, are you growing well?
I can’t wait to see you, my baby. ]
As soon as I read this passage, a hazy image formed in my mind.
Rachel, one hand resting on her belly, whispering love into it.
With the happiest expression in the world.
[ June 13, 812.Darling, your Papa is just too adorable. He went out this morning and came back with a hundred marigolds.
He said they’re a gift for you. Apparently, breathing in marigold scent during pregnancy ensures a daughter. What will he do if it’s a boy? Ever since last time, he’s been absolutely certain it’ll be a girl.
My baby, I’m sorry, but you’ll probably have to be born a girl. He says he’ll carry you on his back for life. ]
Only simple, peaceful stories filled these pages.
“…This is…”
There were tearstains layered over ink that had been pressed down hard.
[ December 3, 812.Darling, today I had a terrible fight with Papa and feel so heartbroken.
Truthfully, Papa’s been terribly worried ever since he heard childbirth might be dangerous for me.
But as long as my baby is healthy, Mama will be fine. Mama loves you so much. ]
I took a deep breath as my eyes fell on the date of the next entry.
[ December 25, 812.Darling, if Mama has to leave before Papa… will you hold him for me?
Your Papa is timid—he might find it hard to be with you at first. There may be days when he’s clumsy.
But this much is certain: Papa truly loves you. You’re the one he’s longed for more than anyone.
My baby, could you try to understand Papa just a little?
Mama’s fine with everything… except worrying about your Papa. But since you’ll be there, I know he’ll find the strength to carry on.
He’ll be kind and gentle with you.
Darling, I’m sorry I won’t be able to raise you. I wanted so badly to see you talk, to see you walk.
I’d hoped to read bedtime stories and tuck you in myself.
Time with you would’ve been pure happiness—that’s why I keep imagining it.
Will you love macarons like Mama? I hated carrots as a child—maybe you will too.
I’m so curious, yet it’s all so regretful. Darling, I love you so much. Having you made Mama happy.
If there’s another life after this, please come find me again. Mama will be waiting for my baby. ]
Rachel’s parenting diary ended here.
‘December 25, 812… that was Larien’s birthday.’
It was also the day Rachel died giving birth to Larien, so of course it stopped there.
“…Ah, why am I crying?”
Tears I hadn’t noticed spilled down my cheeks.
If Rachel had lived, Duke Bellaste would never have hated Larien.
Larien, raised with her parents’ love, would have lived a life free of pretending to be someone others wanted or hating others.
I kept making pointless, impossible assumptions.
‘Larien was the daughter the Duke wanted, and she manifested as a sparrow kin…’
Yet she wasn’t loved. Though it wasn’t Larien’s fault, she lived her whole life like a sinner.
“…What are you doing in this room?”
Duke Bellaste stormed in, his face twisted with displeasure.
‘Wasn’t he with the Crown Prince?’
I hadn’t even noticed his arrival.
“This isn’t a place for you—leave at once!”
The Duke panted roughly, clearly agitated.
“Are you deaf to my words?”
His gaze toward his daughter was filled with hostility impossible to believe.
I closed the diary and looked straight at Duke Bellaste.
“When I was very young, I nearly tumbled down the stairs. I wanted your attention, Your Grace.”
The night Uriel fell ill with fever, Duke Bellaste stayed by his side all night.
Hoping that if I got sick like Uriel, he might come to me too, I threw myself down the stairs.
But he never came.
“Did I ever exist as your daughter, Your Grace?”
It was unfair. After all, I’d lived in Larien’s place—I’d even dared to hope for a little.
For an apology from Duke Bellaste.
“You’re nothing but the one who drove Rachel to her death.”
Ah. Of course.
‘I should’ve known.’
His hatred slipped through the tiniest crack and pierced me sharply.
“You never could love me. You never once intended to be my father.”
I wiped away the tears that had pooled in my eyes. I shouldn’t have hoped in the first place.
If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be crushed like this.
Even before possessing Larien, back when I lived in the orphanage, it had been the same.
The orphanage was a place where I could never fully claim anything as my own.
I shouldn’t have expected affection without cost.
Because I had no parents to shield and comfort me when I made mistakes.
I was forced to leave the orphanage with only five million won, labeled as “independence support.”
With that, I couldn’t even attend university or socialize with peers my age.
‘At first, I couldn’t understand Larien, who’d always had financial security.’
I thought if I had money, I wouldn’t have to bow my head for things I hadn’t done wrong.
‘I was wrong.’
The more one has, the greedier one becomes.
Once I lived warmly, ate delicious meals, and slept in a spacious, comfortable bed, I began wanting what I lacked.
I grew curious about parental attention and affection—things I’d never received in life.
I didn’t even know who my parents were—never saw their faces.
They left no photo or name when they abandoned me at the orphanage. Watching friends get adopted and the beds beside mine empty one by one was lonely.
Unlike me, who’d had nothing from the start, Larien still had a father.
Even knowing Larien did everything yet was never loved and died for it, I foolishly believed if I tried hard enough, I too could be loved.
The truth was, I needed family. Like Larien, I craved affection.
When I hit my limits, I brainwashed myself:
I never had it; it was never mine to have.
By refusing to envy others, I preserved my pride.
Because if I admitted how much I missed it, I wouldn’t have been able to endure.
I stubbornly ignored those feelings, terrified I’d meet the same fate as her.
“I hope you get another chance, Your Grace—not with me, but with Mother. Stop her when she says she’ll choose to save me.”
Larien… might have been better off never being born at all.
‘We’re never loved, not till the very end.’
I left the key on the bed and walked past him. I couldn’t forget Duke Bellaste’s glare as he watched me go.
Dazed, I wandered down the hallway and returned to the annex.
Mary, her face glowing with satisfaction after finishing her cleaning, called out to me.
“Miss?”
Strangely, just seeing Mary made all the tension drain from my body. Mary caught me as I slumped and helped me into a chair.
“…Mary.”
“Miss!”
My stomach slowly began to ache, and I exhaled sharply.
“Miss, your forehead is burning hot. I’ll call the doctor.”
I weakly shook my head and stopped Mary as she tried to leave for the physician.
“Mary, no.”
If the Duke learned I was unwell, he’d interrogate the physician.
“Mary… promise me… you won’t call him, okay…?”
“Miss! Please stay with me! Miss!”
With those words, my blurry vision finally gave way to darkness.
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
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MANGA DISCUSSION
3 Comments
Chapter Comments (34)
Even if you die, Larien’s father won’t mourn for you. his father sees Larien as an enemy.
Larien .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.did you say you were getting engaged to make Larien jealous?
jade, your mind doesn’t work very well.What is the percentage chance that the boutique owner is Jade?
Inline Comments (13)
‘Now that she has another man, is she planning to tell me never to see her again
Let me get this straight…he’s known her since childhood, finally spent the night with her after confessing (sort of)… and he thinks she already has someone else!??
'Better this than never seeing her at all.'
I think so…both actually…maybe all characters lol tbh
I tried to widen the distance between us, but the remaining space was already ti
I wonder how he is going to react when he meets lobelia…
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agustus_orchid
Larien’s mother’s diary was sad. all mothers would choose the baby, but fathers would blame the baby (个_个)
agustus_orchid
Larien, hang in there a little longer. you will live very happily with your baby.
agustus_orchid
Larien’s father is stupid. Larien didn’t choose to be born.